The entire purpose of this blog is to build community, but for this section specifically I want to be able to build safe & genuine relationships and provide inclusivity for other neurodivergent people.
Personally, I've been learning more about my own neurodivergence and figuring out how to thrive with it. The only thing missing is being able to learn from and interact with my peers.
Below is a forum for any and all NeuroDivergents to talk about their experience.
No Matter Your Divergence You Are The Anomaly
When did you start noticing you were different from your peers?
When I was in about 4th grade. I remember wanting to make friends sooo bad but often ended up getting closer to them than they were to me. My mom told me maybe I shouldn’t be so eager to give my heart to others. I couldn’t understand why wanting to be friends with someone was so difficult to achieve.
I've never really had one defining moment that made it clear for me, but I've always had a sense that I didn't fit in entirely with the general population. I had a handful of people throughout my life that I've felt a genuine welcoming energy from that felt natural. With people that I didn't feel the need to dilute the experience that is me. That probably was a weird way of explaining it hopefully it makes sense.
How has your experience been as a young adult entering into adult hardship & living?
I think I’ve definitely found myself more as an adult. Finally after years of being misdiagnosed I figured out that I’m on the autism spectrum, which just made everything click more. I’ve been able to figure out why/when I may get overwhelmed or overstimulated and have been able to combat it before it becomes a big issue. I think also having the freedom to chose who I surround myself with and what I do in my own time has been much more fulfilling than being in a classroom setting surrounded by peers I didn’t click with.
I used to hate myself because I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me and why I struggled so much, especially in college. I didn't start having a better experience and figuring out what worked better for me until I met someone that spoon fed me the information I needed to know. I've been using accommodations and techniques for ADHD and autism and it's made literally a world of a difference. Learning to unmask and learning more about myself outside of the neurotypical eye has made me appreciate myself so much more.
If you’ve been to college, what was your experience when making friends? Did you find it any more difficult than before?
I went to college for a semester. I honestly did feel like I found my friends more in college. There was a much more diverse group of people than there were in my home town and I’ve found in my adulthood that neurodivergents always seem to gravitate toward each other.
Because I went to a larger university and I have social anxiety, I struggled to meet people. The friendships I did happen to make either didn't last long or I didn't feel like I could be true me and be appreciated for it. It was lightly traumatizing and I ended up isolating myself for damn near two semesters before dropping out (for other reasons).
What does your ideal day look like?
My ideal day would be filled with peace and serenity. I would sleep in but still get up early enough to enjoy the sunshine. Start my day off with some stretching, meditating, and journaling. Eat a yummy breakfast and enjoy a cup of coffee while walking my dog. And then I’d go out and explore! I love to explore neighborhoods and parks. I just love slow paced days filled with music and sunshine.
I'd wake up and go for a stroll on the beach or somewhere with beautiful scenery, take some landscape photos, have a morning roach, and take a moment to reflect or meditate. Then I'd go to a quiet café/bakery or bookstore to work on whatever project I thought up and am obsessed with at the moment. If I'm feeling like staying cozy inside, I'd put on a comfort show and enjoy just laughing or play some music and get my groove on (especially if it's raining). If I'm feeling adventurous I'd grab my best friend(s) and go try something new, go thrifting, or have a goofy time doing something crafty. I'd end it with a smoke session and a bonfire on the beach at night with my friends laughing and enjoying the beauty of the night.
What does it look like when you’re in your head or thinking? Do you hear & see words, see images/pictures, motion pictures? Describe it in as much detail as you can/want to.
My thoughts often come as if they’re stories being told to me. I can see very vivid imagery almost like movies, and my inner voice is the narrator. It always amazes me when I hear people say that some people don’t have inner monologues, mine is so loud I can’t even imagine that!
It depends on what's happening around me. Sometimes I can have like a zoomed-out video game view perspective, which I guess is when I'm dissociating. Sometimes I can see words when I'm thinking but if I'm daydreaming or imagining something it'll look like pictures in a slide show or moving picture/movie playing in my head. And sometimes it can be colors that have feeling (I'm not sure how to explain this one).
What are your special interests and hobbies? What are your coping mechanisms?
I love being creative, painting has turned into a form of meditation for me and helps me to focus all of my racing thoughts onto one goal. Music has been big in my coping skills, it helps me stay calm even in extremely overstimulating areas. I’ve also found some little fidget toys to be helpful! I started collecting Fenton hobnail glass which has been an amazing sensory tool to have around the home. Running my fingers over the bumps soothes me greatly. Sand as well! Which was a tool used by my childhood therapist, now I like to collect sand from beaches I visit. Running my fingers through the granules is the perfect soothing sensation.
I love literally anything that involves creativity. I'm a photographer and I paint, draw, write and can learn how to do anything crafty. Music is one of my favorite things ever because you can play music for anything you could possibly feel. Don't let it have a groove and voice that'll give you goosebumps lol. Personally I like to smoke cannabis when I need a flow of creativity, when I'm overstimulated, or having an anxiety attack. It's really helped clearing my mind when I'm in my head too much. I can go into a peaceful, meditative space doing anything that requires the right side of my brain.
What have you learned about your neurodivergence? Despite how challenging it can be, how has it helped you in your everyday routines & activities?
Learning that I was on the autism spectrum truly made life make so much more sense. I understood why I would have meltdowns or outbursts over things that might have been deemed small or silly. I think I spent most of my life overstimulated, and learning how to combat that before it reaches full blown overstimulation has been a lifesaver. I’ve heavily relied on my noise cancelling headphones as I tend to hyperfixate on little sounds. Being able to zone out the world around me and protect myself from auditory stimulation has been a game changer. I also grew up being told I was too picky or particular, but learning how I can safely incorporate healthy foods into my diet has improved my overall health. It’s not that I was picky, but that certain textures were just too much for me to handle. So being able to cut up veggies small and cook them to my liking has been a welcome change.
I didn't actually know what ADHD or Autism looked like and had a misguided idea of it so I never thought I had symptoms until I started learning about it myself. I learned quickly how to deal with what I now know are meltdowns, nonverbal moments, and overstimulation. I learned that the times I physically can't get myself to complete any chores or work when I know I should isn't always something I can help, and now I know to not get frustrated with myself like a parent to a child, and I apply that to anything I could get stuck on really. Learning about myself, my habits, and why I do the things I do has opened my eyes to how I can make my days easier by simply acknowledging those moments.
What is your name, age, and divergence/condition?
(ex. autism, ADHD, OCD, social anxiety, BPD, etc)
Anonymous, 24, autism
Mik, 20, auDHD
Do you have anything you'd like to share with your fellow NDs?
Researching my autism has been so nice, I encourage all neurodivergents to read up on their conditions and figure out what coping skills work for them. The world can be such a beautiful place when you don’t spend your days overstimulated!