My first major turning point was the decision to drop out of university between 2019 and 2020, amidst a turbulent time in my life. I have been diagnosed with depression and panic disorder in 2013, unfortunately, I relapsed again in 2019 due to my parents’ separation, overwhelming academic stress from studying a double degree and working three part-time jobs. The confluence left me questioning my purpose and direction while the variety of part-time jobs gave me more fulfillment than learning and teaching, leading me to lose passion for education, and gravitating toward creative fields identity exploration.

Unexpectedly, this period of uncertainty provided me with invaluable opportunities to explore my interests outside of university. To begin with, at the concerning weight of 39kg due to depression, I got scouted to be a fashion model. It was an eye-opening experience which I got to meet a lot of professionals in the field and collaborated with them, allowing me to visualize my emotions and artistic desire. It also supported me financially as a student and helped develop my social media along the way, leading to sponsorships from brands for online promotion as a micro-influencer. 

Then, I got promoted from a salesperson to a full-time art director at the boutique I was working for. My boss at that time recognized my modeling experiences and appreciated my art sense, considering how an on-stage perspective would help with the backstage preparation of photoshoots. My duties involve designing sets for photoshoots and bringing them to real life, which requires me to search for props around the city, setting the scenes, and sometimes styling. These roles helped me hone skills such as creative problem-solving and social interaction. 

However, as fulfilling as these experiences were, I struggled with the instability of income and a lack of expertise in the visual arts industry. Over time, I realized that while creativity was an important outlet, it could not substitute for the deeper sense of purpose I had once felt in teaching. This period of exploration taught me that stepping away from traditional paths is not a failure but a necessary step to recalibrate one’s goals. I returned to university in 2021 with a renewed sense of determination, ready to give teaching another chance while applying the resilience and creativity I had gained during my hiatus.