My second block practice, conducted in a secondary school, between August and December 2023, presented a stark contrast to my first. Returning to my alma mater—a highly competitive Band 1A school—triggered past trauma and mental health challenges. When I was a student in this school, I was bullied by my peers and the school did not handle it well, making the situation even worse for my mental health. As a teacher in this school, the demanding environment and a heavy workload of teaching five classes across three grade levels coupled with other duties, pushed me to the brink of burnout.

However, the experience also highlighted the importance of workplace culture in sustaining professional satisfaction and how burnouts and stress should not be neglected. The sexism and disrespect I encountered from some staff members, coupled with biased treatment due to my tattoos even covered, underscored the need for a supportive environment. I felt really lonely during BP and helpless sometimes. There was also tremendous stress and a lack of rest. Writing lesson plans and preparing teaching materials, including slides, handouts, and quizzes, for five classes could be exhausting and time consuming. Since I had other duties during school time, I had to prepare for my own lessons out of work time, making me work through the weekends often. I eventually developed a skin condition that almost spreads to my eyes which was from a declinding immune system from the poor mental health during. This experience taught me that while I am passionate about teaching, the traditional school system may not be the right fit for me as toxic school cultures are commonplace according to my peers that are currently teaching. I began to see the value of pursuing alternative educational settings where creativity and individuality are celebrated.