Unedited Stories
未經剪輯的故事

高洋羔羊糕楊
Non-academic/ supporting staff 非教學/ 輔助人員

果陣係我啱啱畢業出來做嘢大概半年左右，我發現果陣既工作同我自己想做既野大相逕庭，所以自認為自己天生二品，加上FYP成績唔錯既我，膽粗粗去左一間科學園既大公司見工，覺得自己係第二個耳隆馬斯克。

見工初時我都覺得我自己幾勁，present的幾好，點知present完個HR同我講其實你FYP做既野好一般，一下就打沉左我，我覺得我自己係零。（雖然間大公司都係夕陽行業，都就快執）

自此之後，我學識左唔好搵D唔識欣賞你既公司，要搵就要搵D欣賞你能力既人，同識得欣賞你既人一齊去努力做好一件事。

Mark Young
Academic staff 教學人員

HKSTP tech startup which failed miserably. Losing HK$10 million in 3 years. I learned that introduce something to the market ASAP, rather than wait for too long.

Mr. Hope
PG student 研究生

A few months ago this year, I received an internal referral opportunity to work at an investment bank, thanks to my excellent relationship with my former manager and the trust she had in me. This position was the job of my dreams, and I was excited to apply. However, the bank had a requirement that applicants must have worked for less than two years. I knew this before submitting my resume to my former manager. I was aware that being overqualified would lead to my disqualification, as I had read on Glassdoor, a popular website where applicants and employees share their experiences.

Despite this knowledge, I chose to be honest and disclosed the actual length of my work experience in my resume, which I submitted to my former manager for further handling. I believed that there was a certain period of time when I worked as a full-time intern for a year at another firm, which I thought would not be counted towards my total work experience. I felt that I still qualified for the position.

But I also knew that if I didn't disclose this internship experience, there would be no risk, and I could proceed with the interview process. As expected, I failed to get my application further proceeded. The Human Resources Department counted the above mentioned internship experience as part of my full-time work experience, which made me overqualified for the position. Despite my, my former manager and her head’s sincere efforts to persuade them, the department did not compromise and stuck to their convention of considering the length of work experience.

This experience left me feeling despondent for weeks. On the one hand, I was proud of myself for being honest in that context, but on the other hand, I felt speechless after the whole thing. I began to doubt if I wasn't "smart" enough, like most of the others who might have concealed skilfully and obtained the offer already, which I could surely make it happen as long as I wanted.

My overall feeling about this failure was that I should think big. While this experience was a missed opportunity to start my career at a prestigious company, I realised that if I take a step back and look at the bigger picture, I can see myself clearly as a honest person. I can hold my head up high and continue to make progress, which has left me with no regrets. This experience was a turning point for me, and even though I have not had any other interviews since then, I still have faith in myself. I am looking forward to obtaining another chance to launch my upcoming career with confidence.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

My previous major was X, which requires students to study programming, but in the fall semester of my 3rd year, I only got 9 marks in a programming course’s exam, I felt that I did not have the ability to complete my major. 

I transferred to a major from business school in spring semester of my 3rd year, which means I only had 3 semester to study a new major, which is from a different field. But as I studied hard and kept a positive mindset, I performed well in the new major and got my 1st dean’s list. 

Do not need to worry about your current failure, you may have an unexpected harvest if you keep a positive mindset to overcome it. 

Bertha H.
PG student 研究生

Since I was a little child, I always dream of being a model who walks on the stage confidently and shining. I made a detailed plan and practiced myself once I finished my Gaokao (the China college entrance examination). I set myself a target to be an intellectual model as I believe uniqueness comes from inside to outside. Taking photo shots, having training classes, practicing my camera performance, shaping my body... all these became my focus in my daily life during my bachelor's study. It was tiring but I was super happy. Someday, approximately around my final year during my bachelor's study, I realized that I have to make a choice - keep chasing my dream or give it up to find other things that I'm interested in and achievable. I didn't achieve something incredible in the first three years and was turned down by model agencies as my face was not unique or typical enough. I was very frustrated because I thought I knew who I was but eventually I was lost. I  reflected that 1. Something we liked, someday we might not like it. Allow ourselves to change and be OPEN to change internally and externally. 2. Give the best shot, and leave the other thing for time.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

My biggest failure in the past year was my disastrous performance in my JEE. Due to whatever reasons, it's the first time in my high school to get such a low score. Consequently, I lost the chance to get in the same university with my best friends.

Given my JEE score was far from my dream university, I calmed down and started to look for the places suitable. Then I came to HKUST, which is one of the best choices I've made, and chose the major I love. Instead of feeling defeated, I convinced myself that, in this place, I can still continue my study, get the resources and reach my goals.

Through our academic journey, we have and will go through so many exams and difficulties, among many of which, we may fail or have bad performance. However, the most important thing is to accept the result, reflect on ourselves and keep confident. Never doubt yourselves. It's not a lifelong failure, but a different point to carry on your journey. Life goes on.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

I‘ll graduate in 2024, so I looked for my 2023 summer internship aiming to get the return offer. I started submitting my internship application in November 2022 and I have submitted more than one hundred applications (I'm serious, not exaggerating) until April 2023. I have some internship experience before, so I don't think it will be too bad, but only three companies gave me a chance to take the interviews and only two made it to the final round. ​Finally, I didn't get any summer internship offers.

Talk with my friends and we comfort each other. Tell myself not to compare myself with others. Also chose to apply for the project intern, which internship period is also in summer, but there is no return offer provided. It turns out there is a lot less competition and it's easier to get the offer.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Don't rush, sometimes luck and chance matter. Quality over quantity.

阿良
Non-academic/ supporting staff 非教學/ 輔助人員

In Form 7, I wished to "understand how we are motivated" when choosing my JUPAS options. Later, I was drawn to Edward for his ability to handle situations calmly and properly, in contrast to drama-makers. We studied together during the last year of secondary school. On the day before the announcement of our results, he subtly mentioned that he owned nothing. After a few hours, I indirectly expressed that I cannot forsake. 

In his next relationship, Edward said that it ended because his partner could not give him sparks of thinking. He then left Hong Kong for his career after graduation and lived in different cities while enjoying visiting various places. Yet I did not develop the ability to face challenges with him during these years. 

I reflected that 1. If you are stuck in the relationship with emotion, you may not be able have the good time with your partner. 2. Understand your (financial) situation, be honest to yourself, and take action to cope with it. 3. You may not be able have the capacity improved over 10 years if no action is taken. 

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

Grade 8, secondary t school, didn’t make volleyball varsity team, myself, tried again next year after practicing during the summer. 

Told myself to enjoy the process and just keep trying - if I’m passionate and interested. 

It happened. If I’m interested and passionate, I’ll work hard and try again! Process is what matters. Learn from your mistakes but don’t over dump yourself out of it.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

I remember the day when I received my Gaokao results. It was supposed to be the moment that would determine my future, but instead, it felt like my world was crashing down. I had always been a good student in high school, earning high scores on my exams and coursework. I was confident that I had prepared well for the Gaokao, but when I received my results, I realized that I had failed to meet the requirements for the universities I wanted to attend.

I was devastated, to say the least. All the hard work, long hours, and endless studying had led me to this moment of failure.

However, looking back on this experience now, I realize that it was not the end of the world. Failure is a natural part of life, and it is how we respond to it that truly defines us. It is an opportunity for growth and development. 

爛grade戰士
UG student 本科學生

When I first entered HKUST, I was really ambitious and was very motivated to work hard to achieve strong academic performance. I did not excel in mathematics, so I knew that I need to put extra effort in studying this subject. Before my mathematics exam, I spent a considerable amount of time doing exercises and practices in order to prepare myself better for the exams. I was hoping that my effort would pay off and I could get a good result in the exam. Nevertheless, the actual result was far worse than my expectation and I was really disappointed in my performance. In the end, I got a C+ for this mathematics course which made me felt extremely depressed and demotivated. It was a very painful experience for me and took me a lot of time to accept this result. 

As difficult as this was to accept, I knew that I could do nothing to change this fact, and I needed to move on eventually. I did not want to experience anything similar again, so I tried to see if I can learn anything from this experience which could be helpful in the future. After thinking for a long time, I decided that I should change the method of studying and taking notes to strike for a better result. The old ways were not effective enough and most importantly, I felt like it did not fit me very well. Therefore, I developed my own style of studying and tried studying other subjects using this brand-new strategy. Fortunately, this worked and was obvious improvement in my grade. I was still lacking behind those best students, but I could feel that I was improving, which is much more crucial than just getting a better academic result. I am glad that I am able to utilize a bad experience to my advantage and motivates myself to work harder. 

This is never a pleasant experience for me, and sometimes I still hope that such thing had not happened. However, it is important to acknowledge that failures are part of our lives, and they are not necessarily bad things. Failures cause disappointment and frustration, but at the same time they also provide new insights and ideas for how to change my life for the better, and it would be a waste to not grab this chance to make me a better person.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

I failed an exam I prepared for five years. To prepare for it, I even didn't go to school in Grade 10 & 11. And when I came back, all I got was a failure and two years of lessons I missed.

It was all dark for me. Since it is often the case that if the result is bad, you would think about many moments when you do better and feel regretful.Seems like all I do is wrong and nothing can save me from this terrible myself. And at that time, I believed that success will bring success. It has been my philosophy of life for a long time. If I do well this time and it will increase my confidence next time. But the failure broke everything. If I continue to live under that philosophy I wouldn't stand it. So I think about a lot of things. Many times it won't work, and it is painful. However, with time I can think of it differently. And I survive.

I want to say that sometimes the pain of failure is too large that we can't deal with it at once or in a short time. We just try hard to live normal the life and do the things we should do and with time it will be better. Don't bury yourself in pain or sorrow. Be open to other ideas and be patient and hopeful. It will finally go. Best wishes.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

I had been playing basketball for 10 years and I decided to stop playing because I failed. I failed to keep improving while others manage to do so. As a result, I was lagged behind and struggled to perform on court. Academic was another thing that I wanted to focus on apart from basketball, and it was always more important for me to have good grades at school rather than going to trainings. I realized I had to put much more time on basketball so that I could improve and moved away from the bottleneck I faced, but I did not think I have the time to do so given that the academic workload was quite heavy. I was stuck at the situation where I had no improvement and kept playing with unsatisfying performance. It was a tough choice, but I decided to stop playing it because I realized the time and energy I used in practicing basketball could be placed in some other areas like looking for other new interests and hanging out with friends. The alternatives generate higher utility for me although it means playing basketball would not be in part of my life most of the time in the future.

It was disappointed, sad, and unpleasant. However, I learnt that where we put our priority is extremely important. We put the most focus, time and energy on our top priority. We can easily ignore, or we simply don’t care about those which are at very low priority. To be successful in a thing, we need hard work, and hard work needs time and energy. Very unfortunately, we have limited time and energy, so if we do not place a thing on the top of our list, we have very little chance to excel in that thing. It is not because we have inferior talent or not as good as others, but mainly and most often because we place our priorities differently. There is no right or wrong answer when we formulate our list, but we better make sure we have more than enough reasons to justify the rankings to ourselves (and ourselves in the future) so that we will not regret our decisions.

When deciding our priorities, we can consider there following: your interests, your potential, future development of that thing, your utility if you excel in that thing. It is often hard to quantify the above, but we can try to compare one by one and come up with our top priority. Of course, priorities change when we grow up and when time pass by, you may care most about your public exam when you were in your final year of high school, and you may care about your GPA in your university, or you care about your loved ones when you are in a relationship. The truth is, we only have limited time and energy to take care of our priorities.

Ploen
UG student 本科學生

Of course, there have been times when I've fallen short of my goals. But even then, I don't see it as a failure. In my heart, I know that it's because my desire wasn't strong enough to fuel me to work hard. I take it as a learning opportunity and use it to motivate myself to do better in the future.

As I reflect on my mindset, I realize that it has impacted me in many ways. It's given me the courage to take risks, the resilience to bounce back from setbacks, and the humility to appreciate every victory, no matter how small. I'm content with possessing this kind of mindset because it has helped me navigate through life's challenges and come out stronger on the other side.

Reflecting back in time, there was a time in my life when failure hit me the hardest. It was when I was young. I had high expectations but made feeble attempts, which resulted in one of my most distinct failing memories. It was during my bridge competitions, that I got fourth place many years in a row. The feeling of being so close to winning, yet falling short, was unbearable. I was filled with what-if questions that tormented me endlessly; ”If I had done this, we would have gotten a medal. If I hadn’t made this mistake, just one tiny mistake, we would have been the players on the podium right now.”

What-if questions are destructive because no matter how much you think about it, the truth is that you can never go back in time to fix it. It will only consume your soul. I still face this kind of situation from time to time where I would question myself on the past decision, “What if I have done it differently?” But the older I am, the better I could handle this feeling. Yes, you could never change things in the past, the most logical fact in the world.

For the longest time, the word "failure" had no place in my braintionary. It was a foreign concept that I never thought would apply to me. But as I've grown older and faced more challenges in life, I've come to realize that failure is a part of the human experience. Despite this realization, I still hold onto two beliefs that have helped me avoid feeling like a failure. The first is my unwavering desire to succeed. When I set my sights on a goal, I give it my all. I plan meticulously and work tirelessly until I achieve what I set out to do. I've always believed that if I try my best, I won't have any regrets. The second belief is my ability to see the silver lining in every situation. Even when my performance doesn't meet my expectations, I don't see it as a failure. Instead, I compare it to the worst-case scenario and find comfort in the fact that things could have been much worse. I've been fortunate enough to experience many instances in my life where luck has helped me, and I'm grateful for every outcome, regardless of how it turns out.

But as I grew older and gained more experience, I learned to handle failure in a different way. I realized that failure is not the end of the world, but rather an opportunity to learn and grow. I began to embrace my failures and use them as stepping stones to achieve my goals. I know that dwelling on the past is destructive, and I try to focus on the present and the future. I know that success is not guaranteed, but with consistent effort and a positive mindset, I can achieve anything I set my mind to.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

Failure comes in many forms. As students, we might have experienced failing exams, assignments, job interviews, major selection, and more. The feeling of failure differs for every individual, based on what they care about and their expectations. In my case, My vision in my life is to be a service to others, and make people happy, especially people who are around me. Also, I have high expectations of myself and others close to me. 

Recently, I have been struggling with being myself and being a good friend. This started months ago when I broke my relationship with my friend. Me and her are very close to each other, we would hang every day, she feels like a sister to me. However, I sometimes caught her lying to me about stuff that is simple and nothing to be ashamed of. I felt like she did not trust me as a friend. I distanced myself from her but not fully ignored her. I contacted her every once in a while, but I hung out with our friend group more, rather than individually with her, she was always there also. Then, she started to ignore me while talking to others. This left me feeling like losing a friend. I may hurt her feelings, but I didn't mean to end the relationship, but just not as close as we were. I isolate myself from other people, and it is hard for me to communicate with others. I was depressed, since I want to help people and make people happy, but I feel like I can’t do it. 

A solution may be to find a new friend group, to prevent me from being hurt by her, but it just never feels the same. If I were to turn back time, I would not distance myself from her, as I only did that for my ego. 

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

We are always so afraid of failure, be it big or tiny. It is scary to face the outcome after we fail as we will lose what we have prepared and we will be proven wrong. We may lose confidence, self-esteem and even trust. Here I am going to introduce my biggest failure in my life. I do not talk about this often because I was really ashamed of myself. 

I had always participated in Putonghua Speech Festival during secondary school years. I still remember form four was my last year joining. That year, I prepared very hard for the competition. Even though there was a heavy workload of schoolwork, I still took time to practise so as to get a satisfactory result for the competition. That day, I went on stage to start my speech. All of a sudden, my head went blank, completely empty. I became speechless. I couldn’t say a word; I forgot my speech. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were looking at me. Even though no one was laughing, I felt like I became a laughing stock and I was really scared. My dad, who was sitting under the stage, looked at me worriedly. I almost cried as I had never been in this embarrassing situation before. I wanted to leave the stage. I wanted to leave the venue. Eventually, I left without saying the complete speech and it became a barrier for me to join the Speech Festival again. That’s why it was my last year joining as I have failed to even complete my speech, not to mention winning, in the competition. 

I still don’t want to look back to that day. I don’t want to have flashbacks of that moment when I failed to memorise my speech. I felt ashamed and sad. 

But at the same time, I’m glad that it happened. Our life won’t be a bed of roses. There will always be some obstacles and challenges that cross our path. I’m glad that I know how it feels to forget a script on stage and it makes me know that enough preparation beforehand is really important. I learned not to panic and not to be scared. There are still many chances for presentations in the future. I could utilise my failing experience as a trial of what it feels like forgetting my script. I have now grown up from it and I learn to be glad from failures.

Yes, failures are scary but we can be glad that it happens. We grow and learn from them.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

Back in form 5, the pandemic forced everyone into online class. I found it impossible to pay attention in online classes, and it was much harder to keep up on homework and studying as a result. In addition, social distancing measures meant that I had no real-life interactions with anyone outside immediate family. As a result, I missed out on a lot of homework and fell behind greatly in my studies, leading into a sort of depression and eventually suicidal tendencies. 

Although it was my personal failing in not paying attention to class or reaching out for help, I cannot think of any "solutions" to my downward spiral, seeing as someone spiraling downwards clearly cannot think of how to fix their own problems. 

I suppose the most helpful thing would be to have better communication when face-to-face is impossible.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

"I ruined my chemistry mid term. I didn’t manage to finish the paper and I was uncertain about most of the answers I wrote. Cry didn’t help but who cares, I had to release my sadness and guilt.

What’s worse? I would be having physics mid term the next day, which I hadn’t started revising because I’d had another mid term the day before chemistry.

I ruined my physics exam too. Undoubtedly. But this time I had experience, I didn’t cry. My midterms are over! Finally."

I did reflect on these failures and I knew it’s me that didn’t revise earlier. I knew from high school that I couldn’t revise a few days before exams but I’d forgotten. But that’s okay. At least I remember now, and I still have 3 years to work harder. Or should I say, I still have my whole life to work better. 

Failure is never scary. What’s scary is that one immerses in his/ her failure and learn nothing from it. What makes tomorrow better is the experience we have today. I cherish every failures I had because without them, I couldn’t improve into a better me.

Sorrow
UG student 本科學生

There are different kinds of failures we could encounter in our everyday life, from small to large, simple to complicated, and short-term to long-lasting. One of the many failures I could still easily recall is rejecting and ignoring my grandparent's feelings, which I thought could only be memories and never be resolved.

Remember the past few years, a piece of bad news came to my grandparent' ears -- One of the relatives passed away suddenly. He was the closest relative to my grandparent, and at that time, no one could clearly inform the details. My grandparent felt so depressed and tried all the ways to ask for more information, but sadly no one could reply. It was the first day I saw her scream crying. I could still recall starting from that day, my grandparent washed her face with tears, from blubbering, sobbing, weeping, sniveling, and last few moments, whimpering. I thought I could comfort her by cheering her up at that time. "Is okay!" "Everything will be okay!" "Please don't feel sad." But now when I look back, I wonder what I have done to my grandparent. I kept ignoring my grandparent's feelings, deterred her to express her sadness, and eventually gave her more pain. I hope I have not done that, but I could never go back to the past, to the past with everlasting happiness. All I have left was regret and sorrow.

But as time goes by, feelings I have realized in the past have faded away gradually. It is like they were kept in my memories, but do not strongly influence my mood in the present. Though I still regret it and feel I could not return to the past, I could change my present and future to prevent making similar mistakes and hurting others again. Accepting others' feelings has become my daily practice from the day I realized it. 

Tree
UG student 本科學生

When I was in secondary school, I discovered my passion for photography and videography. I love capturing moments and telling stories through the lens of a camera, and I enjoy doing it as a hobby. When I was in F4, I had the opportunity to join a microfilm production with a group of university students from HKAPA who are majoring in film. 

Though I was excited and eager to learn from the more experienced team members, I also struggled to keep up with other teammates’ level of skill and experience, and I often felt like I was holding the team back. I was worried about being a burden to the team since I was the only one who had no knowledge about taking a film. I felt like I had failed to meet my teammates’ expectations, and I thought that maybe photography and videography just weren't for me.

But as time went on, I realized that giving in to discouragement wouldn't make things better. Instead, I needed to push through the challenges and keep working towards my goals. So, I watched online tutorials and articles to improve myself, as well as asked the more experienced team members for help and feedback.

Now, I am able to create my own videos. While my videos may not have been flawless to everyone, to me, they were a reflection of my hard work, dedication, and growth. And that was all that mattered. This experience taught me some important lessons. First, it taught me that pursuing your passion can be challenging, but It's okay to be a beginner and that everyone has to start somewhere. The important thing is to ask for help and to be open to feedback, so you can continue to improve and grow. 

So, if you're feeling nervous or afraid about pursuing your passions, failure is just a temporary setback, and you have the strength and resilience to overcome it. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and keep practicing and learning. With hard work and dedication, you can achieve your goals and create something that you're proud of! 

Marvin
UG student 本科學生

Despite many friends believing that I am successful since I could enter HKUST and study the program of my dreams, I too have many stories of failures. A story that I would like to share took place during my first year at HKUST—looking for a summer internship. 

I applied for around 20 internships, and I could not get my first offer until late June, a time when I nearly gave up on the hope of getting one. This experience gave me a brand-new feeling of failure since I have always been living my life with confidence and could always overcome the obstacles and setbacks I face. When all my batchmates landed internship offers at impressive companies, I was worried about lacking behind without any internship experience. I understood my limits and chose the positions where I would prove to be a great match. However, many employers did not prefer undergraduates in their freshmen year since they lack job experience and industry knowledge. Placed at a disadvantage, the process was even tougher than I thought and I was more disheartened as I was rejected by one company after another. 

The summer break commenced in June 2022. As my batchmates were gradually starting their internships, I kept on thinking, “What am I doing wrong?” Then one day, it occurred to me that getting an internship offer does not matter. I have been too tense and fixated on my goal but never told myself to take a step back and reflect on my interviews. I spent a week just to take a break from the job search and think about what I did well and my room for improvement in the past job interviews I had. That week was the key to getting the offer in late June since I could work on my weaknesses in interviews and be more confident and natural when sharing about myself. I never felt any better at the end of my last job interview last summer. I was not worried anymore, even if I could not get the offer. I knew that I tried my best, and that is all that mattered. When I got the official call to congratulate me on getting an offer, I was overjoyed and overwhelmed. 

This story might have ultimately ended with a “success”, but the lesson to be learnt remains the same even if I failed to get the offer. We may be lost when we are too impatient and desperate, so taking a step back might not be a bad idea at all.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

As everyone admitted into HKUST is usually one of the top students in their senior high school, I have not thought that I would get a letter grade “C” in any of my courses in my university life. But unfortunately, I did get a “C” in a language course in the first semester of my first year of study. I still clearly remember how depressed and disappointed I was when I saw this “C” in my transcript. This was absolutely a failure for me in my academic work, and the most outstanding effect was the drop in my GPA. 

In the beginning, I could not accept the fact that I got a “C” and cried for a whole night. When I made a call to my mother, I kept asking her why I should get this grade and complaining about how bad the professor was. However, the next day when I calmed down, I started to realize that this “C” was quite inevitable due to my personality – introverted. Because it was a language course, in-class participation counted a lot for the grading, and the way that the professor measured one’s participation was through group discussion. When I recalled my performance during the class, things that came to my mind were keeping silent for most of the time, not joining the discussion actively, and even refusing to answer questions asked by the professor. Since then, I accepted the fact that I got a “C” peacefully and understood that I must change myself not only to obtain a better grade in future language courses but also to improve my communication skills.

Now looking back to one and a half years ago when this thing happened, I need to say thank you to that annoying “C”. On the one hand, it gives me the motivation to reach out to more people, participate in various activities, and be better involved in this university community. On the other hand, it forces me to study harder in later semesters so that I can use better grades to compensate for the negative influence of this “C” in my CGA.

Failures are something that can help you as long as you face them and reflect on yourself from them. Be open to failure, embrace failure, and become a better person.

Allen
PG student 研究生

Looking back at my 23 years of life, I was always in school, and my story about failure would be something that happens during my high school, before Gaokao.

In high school, I was once obsessed with physics, and I gave up normal study to prepare for the Chinese Physics Olympiad. If I succeed in the contest, I would be able to be admitted into top universities in mainland China such as Tsinghua University. However, if I fail, I would lose such chance and my normal study for Gaokao would also be lagged. As a teenager of 17, I was stubborn and dismissive about the safe path of focusing on Gaokao. Finally, I was not smart enough, and I failed. My heart broke when I know my score in the contest. It’s still a bitter story after 6 years. Nevertheless, I am a PhD student now, and the lost in the contest was not the end of the world.

As university students around 20 years old, we do not have much social experience, and what’s trapping our minds may be just a little thing if looking back after several years. So, if you are stuck in some kind of failure, do not stay alone. Ask your parents, professors, peer companions and counselors at UST who have rich life experience. Finally, learn from your failures and try to avoid similar ones in the future!

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

When I was in junior high school, I was a hot-headed and impulsive teenager. I had a tendency to let my emotions get the best of me, and I would often lash out in anger over the smallest things. Sadly, I controlled my emotions well in front of classmates but failed to do that in front of the people I cared about.

Unintentionally, my dear mom was often the target of my outbursts. I would respond with a rude comment or a shout to the small thing she would ask me to do, something simple, like take out the trash or do the dishes. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but my lack of control over my emotions made it hard for me to communicate in a healthy way. After shouting, it was also hard for me to apologize because I thought it would lead to losing face. Therefore, the only thing I did after hurting the feelings of the person I loved was to stay silent and promise myself to control my emotions next time. However, the same thing happens again and again. I regarded the loss of my emotional control as a failure experience.

As time went by, I began to realize my behavior would do nothing but worsen my relationships. I started to change and consider the consequence of the shouting and be positive and warm hearting. So, step by step, I started working on my emotional control. I began to think from the perspective of others and stay in a healthy mood, learning how to recognize and manage my emotions in a healthy way. I also made a conscious effort to communicate more respectfully with my mom, apologizing when I was wrong and trying to understand her point of view. Over time, I began to see positive changes in my relationships. My mom and I grew closer, and I felt more in control of my emotions than ever. Looking back on my past behavior, I felt a sense of regret for the way I had treated my loved ones. But I also felt a sense of pride in how far I had come and a renewed commitment to continue growing and learning.

Reflecting on my journey, I realized that failure can be a powerful teacher. It was through my failures in emotional control that I was able to recognize the importance of healthy communication and emotional regulation. I now understand that admitting failure is not a sign of weakness but an opportunity to grow and improve oneself.

As a university student, I have joined a peer companion program to help others who may struggle with similar challenges. I share my experiences and the lessons I have learned with others, hoping to inspire them to work on their emotional control and to recognize that failure is just a part of the journey to success.

In conclusion, I am grateful for the lessons I learned from my failures; I know they have made me a better person. I will continue to work on my emotional control and strive to positively influence those around me.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

I wish I was a competent badminton player but instead, I’m just an ordinary badminton lover, who constantly loses games way more than winning them. 

Not only do I have an unhealthy mindset of frequently comparing myself to others, I also don’t want to accept the fact that I am not skilful enough. This means that I tend to focus solely on the outcome of the match. Yea, you’re right, I’ve lost many times, I even once experienced a losing streak. What’s worse is that I don’t feel satisfied even if I won a particular game. 

“It’s normal for you to beat him, you’re a lot older and more experienced than him. “

“It’s because you have a great teammate, not because of you. “

“You didn’t perform well, it’s just the fact that he made more mistakes than you. “

“I lost the game, I am a loser. I am weak.”

These ruminating thoughts deterred me from enjoying the sense of fulfilment from playing badminton even if I made impressive returns. I find myself becoming more obsessed with every point of the game and the subsequent results. 

It wasn’t until the observation of a particular person’s behaviour on court that made me change my mindset. This person was a fat boy named Fei Jai who always smiles during the game, and acknowledged himself after executing great smashes with a “yeah” or “hehe” and celebrate with a closed fist. You never need to blame yourself for losing when playing doubles with him. The feeling of pressure is non-existent since he is always spreading the enjoyment he is having during the match. He never cared about whether I was a weak player or not, he only ever concerned himself with  the opportunity to play badminton. 

So, why am I criticizing myself when no one else is? Am I being too harsh on myself? Do you love playing badminton just because of getting wins, or do you enjoy playing just like Fei Jai does? It has come to my realization that I was judging myself too much. I started to become more aware of my pep talk to myself and bit-by-bit i start to appreciate myself when I had powerful smashes, trickshots and great returns. Meanwhile, I also started to practice badminton more frequently and put in more effort to prove that I am not weak. Now, I no longer interpret the results of the match as the only determinant of my ability. 

I wish I was a competent badminton player but instead, I’m just an ordinary badminton lover. Still losing games sometimes, but improving and appreciating myself each time.

Jon
UG student 本科學生

I just took my midterms, and even though the results are not out yet, I already know that I didn't perform well for it. After the exam, I blamed myself for not preparing well enough, and felt like the future was bleak. I thought if I failed midterms I would fail finals, if I failed finals I would have no CGA, and no major, no internship, no job etc. 

It took me a while to recover and gather the strength to face this failure directly, and start thinking about how I can overcome this failure. 

I realized that failure is highly subjective, and I often vary between different degrees of tolerance for failure. Sometimes, every little imperfection can seem like a failure, other times the same imperfections might just seem like little mess ups that don't matter in the bigger picture. What I've learned over the years is to recognize what state I am in when judging myself, and realizing when I am being overly critical. I think the solution is to maintain an agreement with yourself for the degree of failure that you would consider n

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

Does it still count as a story if it is happening right now? My story of failure started when I put my step into this campus. From not understanding lectures, to not understanding homework questions, to not understanding exam questions. From forgetting to join class quizzes, to forgetting to register for hall residency, to forgetting to declare major particulars. My academics were and are still failing in every way possible. Last semester I received my first ever C grade, because I scored 80 and all others scored 95; or rather it was because "I am simply not good enough", the reality of HKUST told me. I fall below mean in quizzes, assignments, presentations, you name it. Last week, the physics course coordinator released exam results, and I was in correct in less than one-third of the MC questions, so I was worse than even the lower quartile. In COMP and MATH courses I don't even have time to finish the paper itself. I am failing at time management because the midterms and assignments were packed together and I simply don't have enough time to both finish homework and study. I told others about not doing well in courses but they said it was trivial and that they got a good grade. 

I stayed up late every night to make ends meet but the next day it felt like I was collapsing. I sometimes had painck attacks, am weared out and stressed, but I knew I must go on. Because if I don't, all that effort would have been for nothing. I won't be able to own it up to the past me for working so hard to end up having nothing. I guess I better get back to studying for the exam tomorrow.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

During high school, I was chosen to represent my school in the interschool debate competition. I was part of a team of four students.

Our topic was: Social media was making us less social, and we were on the affirmative side. We had two weeks to prepare for the competition. 

We put much effort into collecting information for and against the argument. I had rehearsed my speech numerous times. Finally, the debate had commenced. It was my turn to speak. I could feel the 300 pairs of eyes staring at me, and my heart was pounding. Just as I was about to conclude my speech, I observed someone laughing in the back. My confidence crumbled, and I abruptly ended my speech. I felt devasted that my several hours of preparation had gone wasted. To make it even worse, my opponent posed a challenging question. However, I regained my composure and responded to the question. Later on, many people told me I spoke fluently and answered the question concisely. This made me realize that expressing my opinion was imperative, and I realized that the person laughing was probably having a good time with his friends, but it affected me because I felt unworthy of being there. 

Though my team didn’t win the debate, it was a personal victory for me because the experience shaped me into the person I am now. Since then, I have participated in many discussions, skits, and even a group singing competition. Looking back, I can see how losing the debate taught me to push myself beyond my comfort zone.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

My failure was my GPA has been decreasing because I spent lesser time studying, which makes me review only a few days before the test. In the end, the result of the exam was not good. Super shocked when I received the grade, but at the same time, I regret not studying earlier.

I would study earlier next time, and review every week for each lecture content taught that week. Reduce the part-time working hours, only choose fewer days that I could handle.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

After my HKDSE Exam, I was invited to precipitate in the EDUHK Bachelor of Physical Education interview which is my favourite subject. However, I didnt prepare well in the interview and they did not even invite me for the second interview session. After the release of HKDSE result, even though my phsical education get a good result, I did not have a chance to study that degree because it focus and emphasize on interview performance. I did feel really sad and regret it so much. 

But I did not give up and start to train my interview skills. For example, attend interview workshop in HKUST and attend different event so that I have chance to interview. Now, I do not feel afraid when I need to have an interview and always remind myself to prepare well before every interview.

Anonymous
PG student 研究生

I used to have many failures in chasing girls. Note that when I say "failure", I don't mean I fail to turn a girl into my girlfriend. Apart from the results, more importantly, I fail to preserve a peaceful mindset and a good chasing experience from the perspective of myself. I often ended up frustrated, failed to express myself satisfactorily, and hurt my own heart at the end of every attempt. 

When looking back at the story, I still regard those experiences as part of my growth — although they are not pleasant at all. I now know that I was too aimed at starting a romantic relationship and believed that it would make me happier. Methodologically, I was also too eager to talk to a girl without even trying to appreciate her hobbies or share her mine.

The solution is pretty indirect and unintended. After I started to "give up the idea of starting a romantic relationship", I started to try some new things in my life. Initially just to diverge my attention, I gradually developed interests or appreciations of many elements in my life and I started to love my new ability of appreciation. Subsequently, I also started to use this ability of appreciation when I chased new girls. Although I still got one or two failures in terms of the results, I don't regard them as failure experiences, because I think those are wonderful memories that I don't mind recalling and there aren't any "I should have"s more. I could identify the shining aspects in each individual that drove my chasing, and I was enthusiastic about developing profound mutual understanding and appreciations.

Anonymous
UG student 本科學生

As the midterm period approached, my friends and I found ourselves constantly talking about revision and grades. One day, I joked, “I'm gonna get an F in the upcoming math exam if I don’t start studying ASAP.” My friend responded with a smile, “It’s okay. F can mean fantastic as well!” We all burst into laughter, but this conversation got me thinking about my past experiences with exams. I remembered how stressed I used to get about failing a test, but then I realized that failing isn't the scariest thing - giving up is. 

Not long ago, I was preparing for my public examination. We had a mock examination to check our progress and get a feel for what the real examination would be like. As someone who had taken exams for years, I thought I was used to it all. However, my confidence quickly faded when I saw the math questions – they looked like they were written in a language from another planet! Fast forward to receiving my mock math test results, and I was feeling more down than a clown with a frown. I had failed miserably, and all my hard work and long hours of studying had gone down the drain. With only a few months left until the real examination, I felt like a complete failure and couldn't help but dwell on the disappointment.

However, as the initial shock wore off, I started to reflect on what went wrong and how I could improve. I realized that my approach to studying wasn't effective – I was merely reciting the past papers instead of understanding the concepts. I knew I had to change my mindset, or else I would really be failing. Instead of just memorizing formulas and equations, I needed to focus on understanding the concepts and applying them to different question types. So, I worked hard and sought help from people around me, spending days and nights understanding the calculus, matrix, and vectors. I ended up getting a satisfying result for the math examination and improved my math ability.

"Through this experience, I learned that failure is not the end, but the beginning of a new journey. It taught me to be resilient, determined, and to never give up. If I had given up revising math just because of failing the mock exam, then I'm sure the real one would have been a tragedy too. However, not giving up was the best decision that I have made as it gave me hope to do well. Failure is a fantastic part of the learning process, and it's how we grow and develop as individuals.

Looking back, failing that mock math test was not the best thing that could have happened to me, but it was definitely an invaluable lesson in my life. So, the next time you feel like you've failed, don't give up; there is still hope. Take a step back, reflect on what went wrong, and use it as an opportunity to grow and improve. Remember, an ""F"" can mean fantastic too!"

WWH
Alumni 校友

I come from a humble background, growing up on a public housing estate in Hong Kong. As an only child, I admit that I was slightly spoiled and didn't really knuckle down to my studies during my secondary school years. I didn't take my studies seriously and as a result, I failed my HKCEE exams with a score of only 11 out of 30.

It was a hard lesson to learn, but it was also a turning point in my life. I realized that I needed to change my attitude and my approach to my studies if I wanted to succeed. So, I decided to take advantage of a second chance and retake the exam.

I had a fairly better result (18 points out of 30 points). I knew I needed to work harder than ever before. I enrolled in a new school to prepare for my A Level exams, determined to do better. I put in longer hours of studying and practice, and it wasn't easy. But I was determined to succeed.

And, in the end, my hard work paid off. I achieved an outstanding result in my A Level exams, which enabled me to secure a place at the Hong Kong University of Science and Technology Business School.

Looking back, I realize that my failure was a blessing in disguise. It taught me the value of perseverance and determination, and the importance of taking advantage of second chances. It also taught me that changing your attitude is the most important thing. Once your attitude changes, other things will follow.

Now, many years later, I'm grateful for the lessons I learned from that experience. I know that failure is not the end, but rather an opportunity for growth and learning. And, I'm proud to say that the lessons I learned have helped shape me into the person I am today.

When I faced failure, I realized that it was important to keep my head down and work hard to overcome it. I was fortunate to have supportive people around me who encouraged me to keep going. Looking back, I realized that the failure wasn't as big of a deal as I had initially thought it was. "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." This quote resonates with me because it reminds me that failure is just a temporary setback, and that the most important thing is to keep moving forward with courage and determination.

Mark
Alumni 校友

2021年9月11日，我和另外两位朋友骑摩托车从成都前往四姑娘山旅游，晚上7点左右，在离目的地还有十几公里的隧道里，我疲劳驾驶导致摔车，右手严重骨折，但是很幸运没有生命危险，同行的朋友也帮了我很多忙。

经过这件事，我意识到生命非常宝贵，也感恩亲人、朋友的关心和照顾。事后我开始关注摩托车相关的安全事故，我发现其实有很多骑摩托车的同龄人因为种种原因受伤甚至去世，因此我觉得或许国内的摩托车驾照考试需要更加严格，或许也应该引入排量分级体系。

Tabby
Alumni 校友

In 2020, it was my third year in HKUST. I faced a lot in that year, breaking up with my partner, handling various part-time jobs, catching up with the grades which I failed to do so the previous years. But you know, sometimes life is just difficult. I failed all parts, I couldn't get along with my partner anymore, I failed my parents since I got poor grades, and I eventually got depression. I was too afraid to see the doctor and faced myself. I was too timid to share it with my friends or family. I could only call the Samaritan hotline at late night and talked to some strangers. And when the time passed, I slightly got moved on. I know I haven't got through the depression, but I know that time will heal me. And nothing lasts forever, not even my sadness or problems. I will be better, maybe not now, but I will someday in the future. 

Actually, there was nothing big happen, we all have to face them on our own, but it is always great that ones notice what bothers them. When you know the what exactly the problem is, you have already solved half. And I know my emotion is the main problem, I will find more ways to distract myself when I feel bad. 

Blair
UG student 本科學生

2020 疫情期間 假裝在努力學習 自我强迫性學習 爲了顯得努力而努力 但是幾乎沒有效果 甚至可能還有反面效果 時常故意忽略自己的真實感受 只是麻木地重複 和同學吃飯時常有心事 有時覺得自己過的挺糟糕的 但是又感到無力和疲憊 好像也沒有改變的信心和精力 有時候甚至會有窒息的感覺 好像是抽了真空的壓抑 不想被人看到也沒人注意 後來考試完過後 終於有空休息一段時間了 看劇 偶爾出門散步 游泳 通過各種不需要考慮太多成功與失敗的活動之後 有些氣力了之後 好像又慢慢又緩過來了 學到的就是不要對自己太狠了 生活已經不算溫柔了 何必老和自己過不去  

我認識了幾個可愛的人 我重新認識了一些人 考試結束后 我把時間還給了自己 那些因爲我的一次‘失敗’而拒絕我的人和事 我想他們遲早是要拒絕我的 因爲我不可能一直是一個‘成功’的人 我想他們在拒絕我的不完美 粗糙 ‘失敗’ 的時候 也一并嫌棄了整個的我 或許有些真正重要的事即使‘失敗’也還有機會 有些人即使‘失敗’也會在 結痂的傷疤是我們身上私密的印記

Levi Lam
Academic staff 教學人員

I fail every day. 

As a friend, I fail every day.  

As a Lecturer of English at HKUST, I fail every day.

I fail every day because I allow my ego to get in the way of what should be my default settings of decency and tolerance. This ego tempts me to make judgements of strangers who may do things a bit differently than I would. This ego makes me consider whether an acquaintance would be transactionally beneficial for me. This ego allows me to think that my approach to teaching is the cleverest one. 

As a result, I don’t share a smile as often as I should to others – on the street, on the MTR, on campus. I often don’t ask about a friend just because I should care enough to do so. I often speak more than I listen in class or in meetings. In these and many other ways, I fail every day.

But as a person, a friend, a Lecturer, I also succeed every day – small successes. This success is largely based on my understanding that I’m a work in progress. So every once in a while, I catch myself before I judge others, I appreciate a friend just because they are a friend, and I allow myself to learn from my colleagues and my students. 

It’s these moments that helps me put failure in perspective. We should challenge ourselves with failure for every failure is a new opportunity for success. We should embrace our imperfection and find solace that “progress” is part of being a work in “progress”.    

Take a deep breath.  Learning forgiveness and developing an understanding for others and myself. 

Prudence
UG student 本科學生

The timeline started from pre-covid (2019). I was a competitive athlete in one of the top secondary schools in Hong Kong. And the prime reason that I was admitted to that school during S1 was my identity as a prized long-distance runner. I came top 3 twice in a row during S1-2 in the D1 Hong Kong Inter-school Cross Country Competition. Things took a turn in S3 and S4 where I had my lowest moment in my career as a runner. I kept having ankle injuries and thus could not perform well in all the major competitions. I felt like I lost myself. I  let down my school, my coaches, and my family. The dream of becoming qualified for the national team was fading on the horizon. 

But the failure in one career led me to open another door, and door... and so much more. I have since reframed my identity as a multidisciplinary individual which has allowed me to discover now-passions: media, tech, and entrepreneurship. I am now pursuing an information systems degree and working in a renowned PR firm while venturing into consulting and entrepreneurship businesses.

When a door closes, another one will always open for you. I believe in some sense, life is all about chance opportunities and how ready you are to embrace those opportunities. Be open to anything that interests you. For me, I came across opportunities through my habit of reading online news and being out there making the best of the opportunities. Failure only means an opportunity to once again step out of your comfort zone and stop that self-sabotaging.

KK
Non-academic/ supporting staff 非教學/ 輔助人員

"I love baking since I was young.  The KFC biscuit scone is one of the items I used to bake.  Every time, the scones just spread outward ended up like a piece of biscuit, but not upward as those sold in KFC. After every round of failures, I would look up on the Internet to look for my reasons of failure and would try using different types of baking powder, freezing the dough before baking, placing them closer to each other on the baking tray, etc.  But, it seems all did not help to make the scones rise.

In June 2023, I came across a British scone recipe online and found that the receipt ureses plain yogurt, instead of milk.  This inspires me to try using plain yogurt to bake biscuit scones.  It ended up seeing little improvement of the scones rising upward, but it is still rather flat when compared with those sold in KFC.  

Until early July 2023, I came across a recipe using Greek-style yogurt in baking muffins.  This enlightens me to try using Greek-style yogurt, in which I have rarely used in baking, rather than plain yogurt to substitute milk.  Finally, it turns out that the scones did rise high!!!  They also tasted unexpectedly crispy too!  My sister even said the scones tasted as good as those sold in KFC! 

I am so glad that my failures have motivated me to look for reasons of failure and inspires me to be creative in trying something new to improve.  I have finally made it!!!

As I cannot find any ways to help my scones rise after every rounds of failure, this has inspired me to try something new, integrating elements of baking other items like muffins and cakes in scones.  

I used to stick to ways I used to and have reservation in trying something completely new to me. 

Through rounds of failure, I learn that being open and brave to try something new may lead to success.

小吉
PG student 研究生

幾週前，我經歷了一個很困難的時期。出於研究需要，我要學習一個從未接觸過的技能，可是我完全不得門道。自己嘗試掙扎了很久，差不多一個月吧，然而自己總會被緩慢的學習進度進一步澆滅熱情，甚至影響到了生活，休息和吃飯也不能好好進行。有天晚上覺得自己要崩潰了，打電話給母親，媽媽聽到我說因為壓力太大吃不下睡不好，很著急，直接叫我不要做了，乾脆放棄。我一聽更加難受了，放棄不就意味著之前的努力都付之一炬嗎？我不想放棄。我突然想到，如果每次遇到挑戰和困難我就給自己這麼大壓力，那麼最後的結果不可避免地也會走到像這樣的地步：放棄。這當然不是我想要的結果！所以，我要找出問題的關鍵，那就是面對困難和壓力的處理方式。我是因為心態不好，所以承受不住壓力，甚至放大了壓力。如果能找到更好的心態，我處理困難的方式就會更加成熟，這樣才能走得更加長遠，再次遇到類似情況時就會更好地面對。

我總結了幾個調整心態的角度：一，失敗其實是挑戰的另一面。沒有挑戰與嘗試，就不會有失敗。反而是勇於挑戰自己的人，會經歷更多的挫折。所以，當我因為研究困難而陷入困境時，我不要想著是因為自己太菜了，能力不足，才會受挫，而應該想的是這是我追求成長，取得進步的必經之路。或許誰都不會享受痛苦和艱難的時刻，但是我要接受這些時刻也是挑戰和成長的一部分，成功因失敗而來之不易，才會更加令人欣喜和期待。最成功的人不是因為他們遇到的失敗最少，反而正因為他們經歷的失敗最多。二，有時候，慢就是快。這一次我的崩潰就是因為對快的一味追逐。我想要在不可能的情況下盡快找到解決問題的辦法，反而容易焦慮上火，這樣一來連本來的效率也難以保證了，反而更慢。所以這種時候要提醒自己先不著急，放鬆心態，保持平和的狀態繼續嘗試，允許自己好好休息好好恢復，這樣才能持續地努力。慢一點也沒關係，畢竟只要一直努力，就算晚一點也遲早能到達的。另一方面是，我的著急來自於急於得到成長，但是成長的快慢是不完全受自己控制的。反而，心態的調整其實也是一種成長，我在整理心態的時候，也是成為更成熟的研究者的過程。

Sam
UG student 本科學生

The story that I am here to share was a combination of all sorts of problems that one can face as a teenager in a new country. I would not say that it was a failure but definately it was a time when things weren't working particularly well for me. I came to HK for the first time during the pandemic and had to spend 21 days in quaratine, the quaratine was a very bad experience as I was stuck in a hotel room with a girl that I had met for the first time. This impacted my study hugely and I got the worst possible GPA in my first semester. All this happened in the year 2020. This experience taught me the importance of striving hard every single day and that its really important to form meaningful connections in university very early on so that you do not feel lonely because human beings are social animals after all.

I am not going to lie but initially I was very negative, I did not know how to deal with my feelings, I was getting bad grades, was not being able to adjust in the new environment, felt lonely but later on the will and self belief that I can do it if I try hard enough was the one thing that helped me in my journey.  

The turning point happened when I found peace and satisfaction with my own company, this was exactly when I made lot of friends and had a great second semester at HKUST. My grade improved drastically and my individual happiness  increased manfolded. 

時光機
UG student 本科學生

我試過「自殺」，但幸好失敗了。

記得小學四年級時，我缺乏家庭關懷、沒有良朋知己，是老師的眼中釘，因此我上課時嘗試「自殺」：我展開左手，大力敲向頸動脈幾下。煞那間，我感到眼前一片模糊，出現了暈眩的感覺，以為自己即將離開這個世界，但很快我的精神又恢復過來了。當時，我很幼稚地想：「難道連上天都不想我離開嗎？」，這個想法讓我開始積極地面對生活。

那段經歷之後，我明白到既然我試過「死亡」，那我還有什麽害怕的。當然，現在看來更多的是「既然我以前面對過那麽多失敗，現在失敗也只是小菜一碟」。

留點時間自己休息一下，並且提醒自己「我過的是生活，而不是生存，適當開心很重要」。

阿文
Alumni 校友

我,叫阿文，天生患有魯能氏綜合症。影響到骨骼成長不好，外表看上去與人有點分別。自小經常需要去醫院覆診，病情沒有阻礙我向學的心，學業上一直努力學習，小學、中學、直至大學畢業，在學期間成績算是滿意。由於我的志願是當一位老師，於是畢業後便尋找教學相關的工作。

求職信寄了無數的多，可是，面試的機會不多。即使有機會面試，學術成就被得到肯定，卻被質疑我管治學生秩序的能力，認為我不可能勝任當老師的工作。這對我的打擊非常大，因為辛苦得來的大學學位，想當老師的夢難道不能實現？而我曾經被這件事困擾很久，反覆自問有否選擇一條錯的職場道路給自己，是否需要放棄。

幸好，母校得知我有從事教育之路的心的時候，便提供一個機會給我嘗試，我當然把握好，努力嘗試先搞好和學生之間的關係。原來我身體外表的不同，反而成為學生對我的好奇，也成為我和學生建立關係的橋樑。我有時候會和學生分享我生命中所遇到的各種逆境，讓他們有所啟發。

千里馬都要遇上伯樂，努力尋夢很重要。只要動動腦筋，同一件事情，也可能有不同的效果。

52hzwhale
UG student 本科學生

Failing to understand what others are thinking and feeling has always been one of my obstacles in life. I don’t have a specific year to when it occurred but ever since I can remember, I think it started when I was in junior school. Sometimes, when my peers are joking around I don’t understand what they are laughing about. Feeling mystified, I failed to catch up with them every time they changed from topics to topics in daily conversations. I prefer to be on my own as I got anxious easily in social situations or in crowds. as a result I find it difficult to make friends. Self-exploration is a process and that’s what I learnt from it and am still learning right now. While everyone is different and unique, labelling and idolising should be eliminated. Stop comparing yourself to others as we are each paving our own path to euphoria, one step at a time. 

It’s quite a negative answer but to be honest, i was constantly in a state of disbelief and doubt upon encountering failure. Questioning how dumb, ignorant and lunatic I was and how uncontrollable the situation was when it seems there’s another person incarcerated inside your brain. I am still learning to accept myself and trying to get to know who I am in the process of self-discovery.  I got the chance to meet someone who are both trying to guide and accompany me at the beginning of my journey. It’s lucky and I’m grateful to make a friend along my way, whom I can connect with, no matter it’s good or bad, she’s always by my side, listening and supporting me. However, the very essence of life is to be independent and that’s what I’ve learnt throughout. The responsibility for your own well-being depends on you because the consequences depend on your personal actions and your own mindset. Everyone has a role model, someone who pointed the way at a critical moment in their lives. And mines are them… the only 3 :) 感恩遇見, 謝謝你出現在我的生命裡.

Burying myself in a myriad of books was one of my bad habits in 3rd-5th grade. I started to make books as my  severe friend” — social withdrawal, missing deadlines, ditching class are only a few that I could recall from my childhood memories. They taught me a lot and was able to create that fictional imaginable world for me to wander around whilst escaping temporarily from reality. I started to have a different perspective on failure during mid-teens when I was trying to put myself in the shoes of others. I learnt that failures are kind of a process where it leads to success. Its like a path where you must encounter failure before you proceed to a better result. Dealing with complex but intimate relationships in my household, I come to question myself “what would you do if you were him/ her at this situation?”, “Are you going to react the same as them too?”, “It’s normal for them to act like this, there must be a reason behind.” Of course, I’ve never questioned or bombarded anyone with these. They are just tiny, chaotic conversations looping daily in my brain.  I also learnt what’s empathy throughout the process but without finding ways to apply it, you know nothing about it. There’s still a long way for me to learn, improve and to master the ability to understand the kind of mindset that could turn failure into a gift. Internally, it’s my own recognition and struggles. Externally, its communication and connection within the society as a whole. Not every action needs a reaction. It’s not reciprocal for everything. If I become a teacher in the future, and if kids can’t learn the way I teach, I’ll consider teaching them the way they learn. 

Edison
Non-academic/ supporting staff 非教學/ 輔助人員

I graduated and work in a HK tel co company, as managment trainee, around late 90s internet appears, various internal meets what our company should do, what are our strength...still control hk's entire phone line network, internet has to overlay on our phone line network, no one can build the network overnight, it take at lest $xxxxxxxxxx to do so, another analogy... you owns Ferrari but you still need to run on our road.... but we all know it goes the opposite. That Tel co company ends up losing it monopoly position and also being 'late starter' on broadband internet service provider (ISP).

The 'big' failure is always, you are in an advantagous position, 360 view looks good and can't imagine changes come up, deep inside our mind, we want to see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear.So logicial reasoning became not logical.

Nguyen Khac Hai Long
UG student 本科學生

The way this question is asked makes me feel like a failure again :') I think, in a way, that I'm just odd and weird and very different from ""normal"" people. Some differences are for the better, some for the worse, and most, I still question today whether they are ""good"" or not and should I express them out loud to the world.

This question gives off the vibe that I should/must tell a failure that is a particular event, probably involving a group of people, at a certain point in time. A particular incident with clear context, that's probably also what most people have in mind and are about to write. Then the failure I have in mind utterly does not fit into this format. It will look really unconventional and out of place if people decide to publish it. Yet I still have to write it out, since the whole point of this writing is to fight against the urge to mask my true self, at whatever cost it may attach with.

The failure I want to talk today is a long-standing psychological error. It has no appearance, shape or form, yet it is the dominant driving force that crippled my entire 2-year life at university, and even has causes and effects much further than the scope of university & academic study. Its name is self-hatred, a total lack of self-esteem, self-worth and self-efficacy. The inevitable consequence is losing touch with who I am and becoming nothing more than a no-substance people pleaser and social conformist. In this article, I will bring out the different & diverse manifestations of this self-hatred in my daily life, both outwardly and inwardly, and try to challenge those negative thinking or at least have some reflection on it. 

Let's begin! Firstly, I can't stop comparing myself to the people around me who achieve humbly-looking but great feats / successes that I simply cannot replicate. The reason I say humbly-looking is because those people look, behave and talk just like normal people, but the skills & excellence they (sometimes hideously) possess in a particular field that they are really good at is simply unparalleled. I couldn't help an emotionally unstable friend of mine like how my counselor makes me feel much better after every appointment with him. I couldn't compare in mathematics, or even just in the drive, passion and discipline to study like many of my peers in UST, I'm also not good at badminton as some of my friends despite playing it (casually) for 10 years already, don't have any cool hobby such as photo/videography, playing musical instrument, drawing, writing blog, playing chess, speaking 8 different languages, coding for fun, etc. (I have tried all of them and somehow failed miserably). Then viewing myself as a failure altogether since ultimately I can only study, and I don't even do it well. Ahh I also have a lot of interest in humanities, particularly philosophy & psychology, but I know my level when my average book reading speed is 1 book per year and the actual experts in the field simply speak in a different language.

To fight this feeling of incompetence and inadequacy, I have to remind myself that many people I see are really good at what they do because they have formal study at it and/or they do it for a living, meanwhile such things are virtually non-existent for the majority of my life and I simply haven't spent enough time, effort and resources. Yeah they do very impressive & admirable stuff, but what I don't get to see are all the hard work, dedication, strict priorities & sacrifices they have to choose to achieve that level of expertise & mastery in what they do.

Accept it and reflect about it, since what else can I do :') Of course I still feel pain, shame or guilt, but feelings fade fast and I can just tell "Just another failure, like every failure I've proudly made throughout my life". 

There is not really a turning point in recovering from my failure, as far as I am aware of. For me it is just a gradual healing process that can span from months to years, and peeling off all these layers of self-negativity is really uncomfortable as I probably have built my identity and comfort zone around it for a really long time. For my own part, I have joined the Peer Companion Program, and although not really contributing much to the program at all (and I'm really sorry about it, my life sucks too), I now have a constant reminder to take good care of my mental health, and also learn more about psychology to gain more understanding and compassion for myself. I definitely have to thank the Counseling & Wellness Center for giving me wonderful counseling services and a training program that strive to heal our mental wounds from struggling with all the stressors of being young adults and being UST students.

仙人掌
Non-academic/ supporting staff 非教學/ 輔助人員

我覺得自己既童年唔算太過開心，係未懂事既時候，父母就向自己解釋「離婚」既概念，係理解依個意思係咩之前，爸爸已經唔係屋企住，得媽媽一個人，湊住3個女，日日以淚洗臉，我的世界從此就變得只有沉默。屋企亦發生好多巨大既變化，曾經被媽媽遺留係朋友屋企，因為好耐都無返黎，媽媽朋友直接問我「你媽媽係咪已經唔要你啦？」後來媽媽經常出外工作，但可能賺得唔多，我著既衫都係親戚施捨出黎，屋企單靠綜緩都唔夠生活，媽媽因為學歷唔多，唔識字，所以只能夠做清潔、保安、茶水吧既工作，有時候我會同媽媽一齊去賣紙皮幫補生計，或者有時候仲會去媽媽工作既地方幫手將一包又一包酸臭既垃圾從每家每戶移到垃圾房，一做就係2-3個鐘。我因為媽媽去既單親中心認識好多差不多背景既小朋友，享受過一段短暫既快樂。後來媽媽有下一任丈夫，然後屋企就多了一個陌生既叔叔，我的生活中少了去單親中心見朋友的機會，多了恐懼、精神霸凌、嘈音、煙氣、偷竊、家暴、謊言、逃亡、警察和社工‥‥‥媽媽再次以淚洗臉，我亦再次沉默。

因為屋企既情況，我變得好努力讀書，雖然最後都入唔到八大，但讀私立大學的我好努力拎到獎學金，加上政府Grant Loan，靠自己完成學位，輾轉揾到一份好有意義既工作，並有機會推動唔同心理健康、共融既項目，使更多人受惠，多一份包容，多一份愛。而家既我回看依一切，雖然心痛，但亦感恩自己因為咁樣而成為了成熟、有經歷、、更包容、有同理心既人，亦都希望透過工作幫到更多有需要既人，讓更多人因為自己一己之力而得到更多啟發和被理解既機會，而家我正努力完成輔導既碩士學位，寄望將來能夠更有能力幫助更多人。

Anonymous
Non-academic/ supporting staff 非教學/ 輔助人員

I have received rejections more than I have ever eaten rice. I spent the past year saving money and training myself for drama school in the UK. It is my dream to go there. Auditioned COUNTLESS TIMES for my dream schools. Ended up being rejected by them earlier this year. To be fair, I was competing with 2000 people all around the world for 20 spots. But I gave up my life in HK and my career for this. This is all I have been working for every day for the past year. Wouldn't say it didn't sting.

This is just a normal day as a performer - being under constant rejection and scrutiny. Grow a thick skin. It will come in handy in audition rooms, onstage and even in daily life. At least you are would put those failure experiences to good use without letting them get in the way of growing. 

Sai Lok
Academic staff 教學人員

I learned several times but still can't run a bicycle.

I will say this is a good example of my bad mentality. I do not pay attention to learn/master useful skills when I do not enjoy in doing them.