December 29, 2020

Mercy me, all you claim to be godly

As all these questions deem unnecessary

You bluntly claim without a shame

Your perfection that I don't happen see

Mercy my soul, o you, highly beings

Hope I didn't hit a nerve

It interests me to see your face

When you all get what you deserve

Silenced along with me was the truth I never wished to hide

Forced to flow with the wind and every wave and every tide

At some point it did cross me to accept defeat and sink down deep

But your lies and all your victims haunt me, they won't let me sleep

Mercy me, you hypocrites blaming me your secret crime

Guess we're even now that you told them the bullets to your gun was mine

But I find it kinda funny when I saw you fake a cry

About the death of that poor someone you once loathed and prayed to die

Such a shame, you never really changed and I was right all along

All this time, you never really learned a new song

You still keep singing about that gloomy, old and boring funeral

Wearing the same damned clothes you should've burned down to chemical

And after all you're still a fire, so set yourself ablaze instead

Start from that halo you're wearing over your head

I wonder what you are when your garments turn into ashes

Are you worth the while when people look at you without glasses?

Mercy me, mercy me once more

I dug holes to the grave where everything you stored

The lies, the filthy murdered and tortured bones so coarse

Are telling me that this rotten smell isn't theirs but yours

October 15, 2020

I’m still so confused though all the patterns still look the same

It all seemed like I’m just part of some sort of game

I don’t understand, I can’t think straight, my mind just keeps spinning

I’ve done my best, I did it all, but I still am not winning

Doors were closing even before I started to knock

I’m not sure if my presence they hate or there’s something I lack

An elite, I am not nor am I any veteran at all

I’ve only just began climbing but it’s like I’m already destined to fall

I know that I’ve tried to do my best through the worst

I hustled till I bled, but my rejections work like a curse

Never want to believe that I’m no good, but that’s how it appears to be

I’m never chosen, so I thought maybe the problem is me

Don’t you find it devastating waiting for something unknown and uncertain

Like a bow and an arrow triggered perfectly but aiming at nothing

I don’t want anything else but a chance to at least show that I got something

The goal is just to know if I have progressed or if I need improving

I got hope and I got faith, but my doubts sometimes speak louder

Sometimes it wins over me and sometimes I fight even harder

Sometimes I come across people telling me such positive advice

That I’ll soon find my breakthrough, though my life says otherwise

Believe me, I want to listen and that I really want to believe

That the chance I seek is coming, so I shall put my heart back on my sleeve