Psalm 150
1 Praise the Lord! Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty firmament! 2 Praise him for his mighty deeds; praise him according to his surpassing greatness! 3 Praise him with trumpet sound; praise him with lute and harp! 4 Praise him with tambourine and dance; praise him with strings and pipe! 5 Praise him with clanging cymbals; praise him with loud clashing cymbals! 6 Let everything that breathes praise the Lord! Praise the Lord!
John 20:19-31
19 When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 20 After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. 21 Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” 22 When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. 23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” 24 But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. 25 So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.” 26 A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” 27 Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” 28 Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” 29 Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” 30 Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. 31 But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.
I have to admit, I agonized over today’s passage in trying to figure out what I was going to say today. Rev. Jen loaned me some books to read with commentaries about today’s text, but I’m not a Biblical scholar and I didn’t understand them. By Thursday night, I was really wishing that I was in the upper room with the disciples on the evening of that First Easter. I wanted Jesus to appear to me, right in my office, wish me peace, maybe breathe on me a bit, and just show me what I needed to say today. Just tell me the answer.
I felt envious of the early disciples, because they got the appearance. First, it was Mary at the tomb who doubted, or maybe just didn’t understand yet. And Jesus appeared directly to her. When he called her by name, she recognized Jesus and was overjoyed upon seeing her Lord again. Mary then told the other disciples what happened, and they were also overjoyed--- and yet they still huddled together in a locked room for fear of persecution from Jewish authorities.
So Jesus appears directly to the gathered disciples. He shows them his hands and side and they rejoice. And then what did they do with that? Not too much, at that moment. No sounding trumpets; no lute or harp, no strings or pipe, no clashing cymbals in praise.
A week later, 1 week after Easter Sunday, the disciples are still huddled in the room when Thomas joins them. Thomas wasn’t there when Jesus first appeared. He doesn’t believe that Jesus is risen. In verse 25, he says, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
From Thomas’ perspective, what he actually saw in the past week, all he witnessed with his own two eyes, was reality—his lord was crucified on a cross, dead, locked away in a cave. Mary and the other disciples said they saw him, but that’s impossible. Now, I’ll admit, if I were Thomas, I’d be saying the same thing. I would have serious doubts that what they were saying was actually true. We can’t really blame Thomas. Doubt is natural. And not just when the world is giving us information counter to the Word of God. Doubt is natural in faith too. Doubt is a very human reaction to the need to be sure. Doubt is when we question---we want to know the correct answer. Some say, “Prove it to me, then I’ll believe, once I know it’s a sure thing”. We don’t want to feel like fools for believing information that’s not true. The problem is there are many sources of information competing for our attention, both external sources: what we read, what we see, what we take in--- and internal sources: our minds’ stirrings, our thoughts, our “what ifs”.
Doubt also creeps in when our negative self-talk becomes really loud. Rev. Jen calls it our “monkey mind”. It’s when we start to question, not just the world, but ourselves:
“What if I’m not good enough?”
“What if I’m wrong?”
“What if I’m not the one meant to be here?”
“Heck, what if in the grand scheme of things, I’m just the innocent bystander? What if I’m just the comic relief?”
That, my friends, is Satan knocking on our door. When our doubting mind asks questions like: “what if I’m not good enough?” Satan is going to try to fill in the blank. Satan responds with “God made a mistake”. When our doubting mind asks “What if I’m wrong?” Satan answers “you’re a fool to believe otherwise”. When our doubting mind asks “What if I’m not the one meant to be here? what if I’m just the innocent bystander---comic relief?” Satan tells us, “Yeah, and you’re not even all that funny”. When Satan answers our “what ifs”, our doubts, our questions, it can crush our belief. We can’t let doubt speak so loudly that it becomes unbelief. That’s what Satan ultimately wants. To drive a wedge between us and God.
When does doubt becomes unbelief? When our doubt is “what if I’m not good enough?” the unbelieving mind responds with “God doesn’t love me”. When our doubt is “What if I’m wrong?” the unbelieving mind says “Believing in God is a lie”. When our doubt is “What if I’m not the one meant to be here?” Unbelief says “there is no plan for me.” That is a very dark place to be. Paralyzing, blinding darkness. When we’re lost in darkness, real or metaphorical, we long to find a way home. We grope for answers. Give me the roadmap. Show me the way. We want certainty.
So, here’s the bare truth: When we question---when we’re lost, when we’re in darkness and we need a way home, we don’t actually need an answer. Having an answer doesn’t bring us out of the darkness. We don’t need the map; a map is useless in the dark. What we really need in this darkness is a guide. We don’t actually need to know the way home; we just need a guide we trust to take us there.
In John 14:6, before the crucifixion, Jesus said to Thomas, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”
When we feel lost in the dark corners of the world or the dark corners of our minds, God invites us to walk with Him and guides us out that darkness. God sent the Messiah, Jesus, in the ultimate act of mercy to quench all doubt about God’s love. Where we seek answers, Jesus gives us Truth. Where we seek proof, Jesus says trust. Put your faith in God. Faith and trust do not remove all doubt, the questions are still there. Faith and trust acknowledge doubt and turn unbelief into belief. When we believe in God fully, and trust in God’s plan for us, the questions in our minds become null. For God’s voice is speaking to us---and sometimes God is loudly crying out to us. When the unbelieving mind says “God doesn’t love me”, God says “You are my beloved.” When the unbelieving mind tells us “Believing in God is a lie”, God says ““I am the resurrection and the life. Those who believe in me, even though they die, will live.” When the unbelieving mind says “there is no plan for me—I’m just comic relief.” God says, “For surely I know the plans I have for you… plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.”
When we’re steeping in doubt, God meets us where we are and lifts us up. God gives us what we need, when we need it, how we need it… to lead us home.
When Jesus appeared to the disciples, it was not to give them an answer or to address their doubts. It was NOT to prove anything. It was to bring them to God. When Jesus appears to Thomas, Thomas cries out, “My Lord and my God!” Thomas proclaims for us the truth of the resurrection, that Jesus is our Lord and our God. With these words, Thomas sees God as fully revealed in Jesus Christ.
When we feel alone, God companions us within the shadows.
When we feel powerless, God assures us that God is in control, and it’s ok that we’re not.
When we feel hopeless, God says, I got this.
No darkness, no wilderness, no doubt is beyond God’s reach. And even when we go past a place of doubt and into the muck and mire of unbelief, God brings us home again.
Trust in the truth of the One who redeems us, the one who saves us from sin. The One who loves us beyond all boundaries and beyond all imagination and beyond all doubt.
Amen.