Psalm 19:7-14
“7 The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the decrees of the LORD are sure, making wise the simple; 8 the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is clear, enlightening the eyes; 9 the fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever; the ordinances of the LORD are true and righteous altogether. 10 More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey, and drippings of the honeycomb. 11 Moreover by them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward. 12 But who can detect their errors? Clear me from hidden faults. 13 Keep back your servant also from the insolent; do not let them have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless, and innocent of great transgression. 14 Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O LORD, my rock and my redeemer.”
Mark 8:27-38
“27 Jesus went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi; and on the way he asked his disciples, “Who do people say that I am?” 28 And they answered him, “John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets.” 29 He asked them, “But who do you say that I am?” Peter answered him, “You are the Messiah” 30 And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him. 31 Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again. 32 He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. 33 But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, “Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things.” 34 He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, “If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. 35 For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel will save it. 36 For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life? 37 Indeed, what can they give in return for their life? 38 Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels.”
This is not the one of the cheeriest texts we can hear in the scriptures and Mark, in particular doesn't mince words. This text follows Jesus’ words about the Son of Man going through suffering and being criticized by all around him; the Scribes, the Pharisees and the Gentiles. I can't imagine any of us would actually be ashamed of saying Jesus’ words but maybe… sometimes… we're ashamed of actually doing his work.
This text appears in all three gospels and it's really a hard one to hear because it's one of the most challenging texts in all of scripture. We're familiar with the content and the call, but often unwilling to fully embrace it. We have a proclivity to avoiding the harsh realities of Jesus’ prediction of his own future and a tendency to judge Peter for being so clueless; so arrogant; so self-centered. And none of us is too keen of thinking about suffering any more than we already have to, (certainly made a whole lot worse the last 18 months, as well as the current heartbreak of people who are being pounded by evil forces and nature, and the destructive forces of evil acts that are being done in the name of God here and around the world). So why then, explore this text and delve even further into the text when we are called to deny ourselves completely in order to become followers, disciples, and lovers of Christ? As I started working with this text this week I thought to myself, “deny myself? I'm just getting caught up on my toilet paper collection, for God's sake!”. Who wants this message when we're finding new relief and some freedoms and some normalcy even as we live in still, a transitional space, with this wily COVID? Well, at least for me there are a few reasons.
First, we need to be reminded of what it means to be a disciple as we seek to find new solutions to the challenges of ministry with a fractured community as a result of COVID. We need to learn how to rise above our worries and our complaints, so that we can carry the cross of working, and serving, for the sake of the gospel and for the love of God. I also think we are in serious need of being reminded who we are and whose we are as we start to reconnect with our true identity in a community of disciples, (not just individuals), but all of us who are holding fast to strong individual opinions, that sometimes are seeking to break apart the community, instead of building it up.
Being and understanding of who we are as lovers of Christ and disciples has kind of gotten shoved to the side because we've been clinging and hanging on to our sanity, to our mental and emotional health, perhaps to our finances, certainly to our families, and trying to get through when things are still not back to normal with no “end-point” in sight. But I think we've really forgotten, whose we are.
I'm sure most of you, by now, have seen at least one of the interviews or the experiences with some of our professional athletes: Simone Biles, Naomi Osaki and Rory McIlroy. Simone Biles, obviously an Olympian gymnast, Naomi Osaka, who is a professional tennis player, and Rory McIlroy, a pro golfer, they all having the courage to come forward and say “I need to relearn that I’m more than a gymnast”, “I'm more than a tennis player”, “I'm more than a golfer”. They're under tremendous pressure to be all things to all people, but they're not alone. We too give up our identities as a disciple much easier even than that, because unfortunately we often choose for ourselves, instead of the other. We're also in need of growing our understanding of the love, and the mindset of what it means to deny ourselves, and take up the cross.
I'll be honest with you I can't stand this text because it feels like I'm going to be deprived. It feels like I'm not going to get what I need, it feels like I'm going to have to put myself aside to care for others, and the fact of the matter is, that's not a new habit for me. That habit's been with me since I was a kid, (which is why I'm still in therapy, by the way). But the fact of the matter is, denying ourselves doesn't mean deprivation, it means, putting the focus elsewhere. It means putting the focus on the cross and what Christ does for me, has done for me, and will do for me so that I actually don't feel deprived, but I feel hope. I don't feel lost, I feel connected. I don't feel sad. I may not be happy, but I can have joy even in the midst of suffering.
I think that we think, that if we have to pick up the cross and bear it, it's part of some sort of punishment but that’s not what Jesus is saying. I remember so vividly a professor at seminary who's a hardcore Calvinist and she's a phenomenal scholar, so kind and so lovely and so filled with joy (even though she's a Calvinist, which I find a little hard to do, quite truthfully), but she sent me a cartoon one time and it was a picture of a bunch of people in a field carrying crosses. Along the way, they kept asking for their crosses to be cut shorter because it'd be easier to carry. One person in the cartoon had their cross cut so short that could be carried with just one hand. But then they got to a crevasse. Everyone who had the lengthy crosses had enough length to span the crevasse. The one with the short cross was left unable to do so.
Now in my theology, I'm not sure that's something I really want to support. You can make your own decisions about that based on your theology, but denying ourselves and taking up the cross is actually so that we can endure the ups and downs of life and produce fruit for Christ's sake; in spite of our suffering, in spite of our anxiety, in spite of our fears, in spite of our broken dreams. We have to stop making ourselves the center of our own universe. If we no longer make ourselves, and our wants, and our desires, and our actions a priority, it's basically like giving our egos a long “time- out”. It's like a recalibration - recognizing and remembering that no matter what happens, we are Tekna Theou. We are a Child of God. It also helps us understand that we are a disciple and some days we're going to be beloved and kind and caring and giving. Sometimes we're going to be like Peter - arrogant, ignorant and self-centered. We have to keep remembering that no matter what we do, and no matter how many times we fail, to be loving and kind and patient and gentle and that we're still a sinner of God's redeeming, no matter what.
Eugene Boring, one of my favorite Markan scholars, talks about this text. He says the Markan Jesus, (meaning: Jesus’ view of Mark), “asks for the whole being of the disciple; our lives, our whole selves”, (not just the one hour on Sunday), but “the whole of us. None of us can save our lives by being the center of our own universe.” I find this helpful. Understanding that denying ourselves, (denying myself) and actually putting the focus on Jesus, is the only way that I can keep working on being a loving, kind, generous disciple.
So how do we do that? Well, there are a variety of ways we can do that. It's certainly not an easy task and easier said than done. The first step, is recommitting ourselves to being even a better disciple. Well, actually, even before that. It's the prayer of ‘God help me to be willing to be a better disciple’ and on some days, ‘God help me to be willing, to be willing, a better disciple; to let go of the reigns and let “Jesus take the wheel” as the song goes.
A really good and easy second step is to go back to our psalm from today. I want us to all look at this psalm together, and in silence and prayer, find a verse of the psalm or even a partial verse in the psalm that you want to commit to following and praying with, and working on, and acknowledging. I'll share you with you mine – “clear me from hidden faults” - I really like that - “clear me from hidden faults” because sometimes, friends, we hurt, offend, forget people, and we're not even aware because we're the centers of our own universe. But if we ask God to help cleanse our souls, then maybe we can be at least partially blameless. We can start to desire God's gospel more than gold and the drippings of a honeycomb. We can work towards being a servant fully and solely in the name of, and because of, Jesus Christ. So please take some time right now and decide how you're going to pray yourself through the rest of the week. Amen.