Proverbs 3:1-8
3 My child, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; 2 for length of days and years of life and abundant welfare they will give you. 3 Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and of people. 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. 6 In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. 7 Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. 8 It will be a healing for your flesh and a refreshment for your body.
Romans 8:12-17
12 So then, brothers and sisters,[a] we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh— 13 for if you live according to the flesh, you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. 14 For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God. 15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received a spirit of adoption. When we cry, “Abba![b] Father!” 16 it is that very Spirit bearing witness[c] with our spirit that we are children of God, 17 and if children, then heirs, heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ—if, in fact, we suffer with him so that we may also be glorified with him.
The entire book of Proverbs, and Chapter 3 in particular, is an instructional guide as to how to think… and act… and live. It’s actually unfortunate that there are only a few chapters included in the entire three-year cycle of the Lectionary, because they hold such beautiful imagery to inspire us about how to be faithful. The author’s tone is that of a loving parent, engaging, reminding, encouraging us how to shape our values and our attitudes to promote a life well-lived. When we acknowledge and honor God in our lives, then there is no room for self-centered egos, puffing up one’s self, or even secretly comparing ourselves next to others, which, as we all know, only leads to more evil. Trust and fear of the Lord is actually the centerpiece of this particular reading and, again, ‘fear’ in the Old Testament means loving devotion–a deep desire to worship and to honor God, not ‘fear of what God might do to us if we don’t behave’.
Paul, too, has a familial tone, calling us brothers and sisters, and is urging us to really take seriously the new life that we have been given in, and because of, Jesus Christ. He’s far less poetic than the author of Proverbs and a little less gentle in his admonitions. He uses fear in a very modern understanding, as in fear and anxiety like that of someone who is shameful or bullied. (The Greek word for fear is phobos which is where we get the word phobia). Paul is framing his admonitions using a metaphor that we can understand…well in part. He writes, “If we live according to the flesh, we will die; but if by the Spirit, you put to death the deeds of your body, you will live.”
By the way, this is not a warm-up or a lecture on sexual immorality or gluttony. Paul is actually going much deeper and more fundamental than that. And he is, too, echoing Proverbs. “Living according to the flesh” means a rebellion of God, God’s ways. “Living according to the flesh” means a life of self-reliance, even self, self-idolatry. “Living according to the flesh” means that the human being is entirely turned in on oneself–someone who lives a life solely based on one’s own desire, one’s own will, one’s intelligence, one’s own understanding. And while God gives us the great gift of logic and reason and choice, God, as our loving parent, desires deeply that we choose a life “in the Spirit”. God as a loving parent desires us to make good choices; to make choices because of our redemption, not that of rebellion; choices from a place of freedom in the spirit, not bondage to the ego; choices of joy not fear; choices of love not anger.
Many years ago I shared this story with you and it bears repeating again. It was a Fourth of July weekend. I’d been invited to gather with some friends and some extended family and I was looking forward to it immensely! It so happened that there happened to be a block or an association party and all of the houses were gathering in different places for different elements of the meal. At the start of the events, I went ahead with the wife and the grandparents and the smallest child. The eldest child was away and the middle child was still at home with his father getting ready. “Andrew” was a very bright young man, very capable, both good and wise, as well as testing and pushing of boundaries. And sometimes, he was even a little snarky. (But what nine-year-old isn’t?)
So there he was and he was unwilling to wear the outfit that his mother had picked out for him. It was 4th of July–he wanted to wear orange and green and black, because everybody wears that on 4th of July?! And it became a test of the will between the father and of the son and an argument ensued. (Evidently. I was not there; was told about it.) But the father was not able to be patient any longer. The father decided to teach his child a lesson. He got out duct tape and he taped his son’s legs together and said, “Until you are willing to wear these clothes, you’re not going anywhere!”
I’ve always wondered what made Jim do that. I know of his parents. I don’t know his parents personally; but I know they’re kind, they’re generous, they are God-fearing people. What could Jim have done differently to resolve the issue? To make a better choice? Let’s listen again to the tone in Proverbs 3: My child, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments for length of days and years of life and abundant welfare they will give you. Do not let loyalty and faithfulness forsake you. Bind them around your neck. Write them on the tablet of your heart, so you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and people. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own insight.
There’s no talk about duct tape in that passage. There’s no talk of duct tape in God’s heart. There’s no talk about forcing a child beyond their comprehension and their will, when they’re actually age and stage- appropriate, trying to figure out, what we call in psychology, self-differentiation. I’m hard-pressed to think of an example, actually, where brute force against a rebellious child, or even a person, inspired desire to loyalty, faithfulness or love and, yet, we still do it. As grown men and women, we get caught up in being rebellious when we don’t like the way things are going:
“He cut me off, so I’m gonna ride his bumper.”
“She didn’t come to my party, I’m not going to hers.”
“They brought me a cheap bottle of wine, that’s what I’m bringing to their house.”
“God isn’t answering my prayers, so why keep praying?”
Somehow, friends, when it comes to this call to bind God’s words around our heart, it feels too heavy, too much and we regress. We pound our fists when we don’t get what we want, (especially from God); and we regress. Instead of listening God, we pay attention to our own egos. We stay enslaved to our pettiness, our shallowness, and even using harsh words for people who we don’t understand, don’t like, don’t agree with. And yet… God continues to love us where we are, especially when we are that petulant child waiting, hoping, wishing, desiring that we actually submit… again…to being Tekna Theou, children of God, who desire to please and obey and love.
But God will not insist on God’s own way, as we know in 1st Corinthians 13. There’s no duct tape anywhere in God’s heart; only hoping and waiting and wishing and desiring that we let our hearts keep God’s commandments.
John of the Cross writes this beautiful, very pithy prayer. And when he says, “We might quiet the whole world for just one second if we pray. And if we love…really, really love, even our guns will wilt.” May it be so. Amen.