This page contains the instructions to lead your child through each of the Reconciliation Preparation activities. Each activity should take roughly 30 minutes. We do not recommend completing this unit at one time. Taking the time to work through it gently will provide an enriching experience for the entire family. Enjoying the process of learning, growing and healing together will bring you and your child into closer connection with one another and with our Lord.
Read through this page to familiarize yourself with the concepts and intentions of each activity. If you need to schedule the time to focus on each activity, take a look at your calendar and set that time aside. If your family is a spur of the moment kind of family, keep your heart and mind open to opportunities to talk about these ideas.
We ask parents to write a love letter to their children in celebration of the Sacrament of Reconciliation, not because it’s a requirement for their faith journey but because it is a tangible example of sacrificial parental love that nourishes their spiritual walk for years to come.
Taking the time and care to articulate deep love for your child in written words may not be something that comes naturally to you. You likely say “I love you” on a regular basis. You may also be a parent that freely tells them how proud of them you are or relays specific moments of joy that they bring you. This way of showing love is so important and cannot be understated. We want to take that love, package it up into a letter, and allow them to keep those words close to their heart forevermore.
The gift of faith that you are sharing with your child, raising them to know and be known by God, is a most precious gift. With faith in a God that loves them fully and completely, they will never feel alone or lose hope in their worth and value. No matter what life may bring them, they have a firm foundation in abundant love. Grounding some of that love in a letter is a meaningful way to offer your child ongoing affection even when you may not be physically present.
So, what sorts of things should you say in your letter? First, take some time to pray about it, let Holy Spirit guide you to speak the words your child needs to hear the most.
Holy Spirit, come near to me and help me to see my child through your eyes. Grant me the wisdom and grace to fill this letter with the words my child most needs to hear.
Does your child show kindness? Do they have enthusiasm, drive or ambition? Maybe they recently surprised you with their maturity or how they handled a conflict with grace.
You could describe things you enjoy doing together, habits or routines you share that mean something to you. Tell them what a blessing it is to have them in your life, exactly as they are. Tell them how excited you are to watch them grow and become their own person. How incredible it is to be part of their life.
Do you have specific fond memories? A vacation, a conversation, a realization of how much they’ve grown. That moment when you looked at your little baby and realized, oh wow, they aren’t a baby anymore!
Be specific about what makes you proud of them. Have they overcome significant struggles? Faced circumstances or situations that you would never have wished for them? Do they inspire you to be a better person, a more gracious friend or a louder advocate?
You may also feel inclined to address an area of your own weakness or struggle, something that you can pray for Gods gracious help with. This is a wonderful opportunity to acknowledge that even when we as parents fail to love them perfectly, they are always perfectly loved by God. Never underestimate the power of wanting to do better. Gods gift of grace and mercy is a testament to how often we need to do better, yet are loved even in our failings.
Your letter can be short or long. You can write it on a card, on loose leaf paper or you could type it and print it out. You can get creative or stick to basics. How it looks is not nearly as important as the heart you put into it.
May Gods abundant love pour forth and may you find joy, peace and comfort in sharing your heart with your child.
Developing the habit of daily prayer starts with routine. Choose a time of day when you and your child can recite the Our Father prayer together. Before bed, before dinner or any other time that works for your family. This activity is one you may already be engaging in, in which case, Well done! You're a step ahead! If you havent started a daily prayer routine yet, thats ok! Challenge yourself to repeat this prayer every day until your child makes their first reconciliation. Feel free to sing it, take turns saying each line or say it in unison, however you and your child can join together in worship and dedication is exactly the right way.
Our Father in heaven, Holy be your name
Your kingdom come, your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us
Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil
For the kingdom, the power and the glory
Are yours now and forever
Amen
You can sing this prayer as we do at Mass: St Lukes- Our Father prayer Or use any translation you prefer.
This is the prayer Jesus taught us, he is the one who intercedes for us and gave his life for us. Pray this in the name of Jesus.
For this activity you will be reading the story "Mamma, do you love me" by Barbara M. Joosse. If you have a copy of the book, you can read it together with your child. If not, we have a video recording for you to use. You could also purchase this book, we recommend Theologia to find beautiful faith based books.
* This is our recommended example, you know your child best. If they struggle to sit still and have focused time, you are encouraged to get creative with how this conversation unfolds. There is no right or wrong way, as long as the intention is to create a space that allows for connection and you can help guide them in understanding Gods vast and unending love.
Before you invite your child to join you for this activity, bring God into the moment.
Lord God, be present in this moment. Grant me your patience, your grace and your compassion.
Create a cozy space, light a candle or turn on a soothing lamp. You are setting a mood of comfort, safety and security.
Read or watch "Mamma, do you love me?" (2:07)
After reading the story, take some time to reflect on it with your child. Lead your child in understanding the difference between sin and a mistake. Help them to understand that regardless of their choices, your love for them will never end. There is no script and nothing they say is right or wrong. The purpose is to create an open dialogue that allows you a glimpse into how your child is perceiving right/wrong choices and providing you with opportunities to guide their understanding and reassure them of your (and Gods) unending love.
"I wonder ... in the story the little girl does a few things that she knew she should not have done. What did she do?"
Allow your child to think about it and recall what happened in the story.
"How did her Mamma react? I wonder why she kept asking her Mamma if she loved her?"
Accept any answers your child might give without correction. This is a special time of reflection. If your child says because she broke the eggs, you might ask, 'I wonder if she broke them on purpose?'
"I wonder why she would run away, or turn into a musk ox or a polar bear?"
There are no right or wrong answers, there is only an opportunity to reflect. Asking open ended, curious questions. "I wonder...."
For further conversation, watch this video about Psalm 139- How God pursues you This psalm reminds us that we are created by God, He is never shocked or surprised by our thoughts, words or deeds. God actively pursues us and loves us in every moment.
End your activity with the sign of the cross and thank them for spending the time with you.
In this craft you will be making two woven hearts. One for your family, one to be given to seniors living in residences nearby.
The woven heart symbolizes the weaving together of our hearts after Christ heals us. We ask for you to make two so that you can share in the joy felt when our hearts are so full of love that they overflow and spread happiness to those around us. This act of service brings joy to many and is a wonderful example of how God can change the world by His outpouring of love and healing. By adding a little 'happiness' (candy/chocolate) to the woven heart that you give to the seniors, your child can share the overflow of their happiness with others.
We recommend you watch the video beforehand to familiarize yourself with the craft. It can take a little time to create a woven heart but the effort is well worth it, it provides a wonderful sense of accomplishment.
Materials needed:
- 4 sheets of cardstock/construction paper (2 per heart)
- Woven heart Pattern
- Scissors
- Small baggie (to hold the candies or chocolates)
- Candies or chocolates of your choosing (placed inside the woven heart)
Woven Heart- Instructional video (7:51min)
After completing your woven heart, we invite you to watch this short video. Talk with your child about their thoughts and feelings about it.
Dynamic Catholic- The Garden of your heart (3:59min)
In this video, just as Sarah and Fr. Tom tend the parish garden, we learn that God tends the garden of your heart with great love and joy, helping you become the-best-version-of-yourself.
This activity is done in preparation for the examination of conscience that you will do with your child next. It provides different avenues of conversation that you can have with your child. The goal is to find a rock to bring home and then bring to their First Reconciliation. This rock will be placed into the gardens around St Lukes, as a symbol of their connection to our faith community.
While out walking in nature, marvel at the beautiful world God has created and given to us. We can show gratitude by choosing respect and love for ourselves and the world God made. God is present in everything, He is our firm foundation and our soft place to rest. If your child already has many rocks that have come home throughout the years, they can select one from their collection or choose a new one during this activity. Whichever rock feels right for them to hold onto during their Reconciliation with the priest, that’s the one they should bring.
The rock can represent many different things.
It can represent the hardness of our hearts when we turn away from Gods goodness.
It can be a reminder of the solid foundation of love that built and sustains the world.
It can feel like the weight of a thousand mistakes or have the density of a love that never ends.
By choosing a rock to bring home with them, you are encouraging your child to make a connection with the world God made for them.
Many kids love to bring rocks home and this activity won’t be a new experience. But try to make it a meaningful one. Get them to put their name or initials on the rock, to connect themselves with and to the solid foundation of Gods beautiful world (also makes it easier to find their rock in the gardens if they want to!)
We hope you will enjoy spending time in nature, whether that is around your neighborhood, a park nearby, a day trip to the mountains or anywhere else your family can spend time in Awe and Wonder of Gods miracles.
This activity is the last part of preparation. It can be done at any time, however, we recommend you review this activity with them the evening prior to the Reconciliation celebration.
Before beginning this exercise make sure you pray, you are representing Christs perfect love and its important to ensure you have intentionally brought Him into the moment.
Lord God, I thank you for your perfect love and the gift of forgiveness. As I lead my child through this moment I ask you to be present within me. Jesus, bring your peace and grace into this space. Amen
You might want to have the rock they found on the nature walk, or whichever rock your child would like to hold onto. It can be the same one they bring to the Reconciliation celebration with the Priest. We encourage them to bring the rock to provide them with a tangible object that can keep fidgeting fingers busy and provides somewhere to look and focus. This helps keep their minds and bodies from becoming distracted.
Leading your child through an examination of conscience might be emotional, or awkward. Be aware of your child and their emotional needs. Facing our faults never feels comfortable, but when handled with love and compassion it can result in feeling lighter, freer and even more loved. Being loved as their full self, faults and all, is a wonderful gift.
This examination of conscience video is 2min54seconds at normal speed, it is designed as a quiet meditation. Using simple questions to check in with our conscience, with a few moments between each to consider our answers. You can either engage in small discussions of each question, sharing with your child examples of your own faults, or simply allow them the space to reflect for themselves. They do not have to share these reflections with you but let them know that these reflections are what they can share with the priest who will then offer them Gods forgiveness. Some children are just naturally good and don't yet deliberately do unkind things, don't have them search for deeds that might not be there.
Examination of Conscience Video
Giving your child the opportunity to write their list can help empower them to not feel worried or anxious. They are allowed to keep this list private but if they choose to ask your help in writing it, try not to tell them what they should add to the list.
Congratulations! You and your child have gone through their first reconciliation preparation!
It is a honor to teach children how to be accountable, how to identify when we make mistakes and then to demonstrate the freedom and joy that comes from receiving forgiveness. By walking through this process with them, you have given them a gift. Our prayer is that your family will continue growing together and developing the habit of accountability and free flowing forgiveness. Between one another and within your relationships with God.
On the day of First Reconciliation you will be greeted and we will double check that you've remembered everything you need to bring:
2 woven hearts (1 filled with candy in a small baggie)
Rock with name written on it in
Love letter from parent
Baptism certificate, if not already on file
You will be led to the Priest, we recommend the parent goes up first to model the process. After you have sat with the Priest you will bring your child up to the Priest to introduce them. "Hello Father, this is my child <name>". We ask that parents step back and wait a fair distance away for their child to complete their sacrament in privacy.
On our Sacraments page you can find a list of videos to help practice the actual process of Reconciliation. Feel free to hold practice rounds, kids like playing dress-up, make this part of their play.
After your child talks to the Priest, he will ask them to say a short prayer. They can say an Act of Contrition or another prayer if you would prefer. The Priest will give your child a small card with this prayer on it.
Jesus, I am very sorry. I love you.
Thank you for your mercy and help me to sin no more.
Amen
God forgives us. But the sacrament is complete when we return to our family and friends and share the forgiveness we have received. This is usually a moment of great joy and lightness of heart! It feels so good to be loved completely, forgiven endlessly and to know that our God will be with us everyday to help us be better.
God’s love and forgiveness make all the difference. It makes it possible for us to start fresh in the confident knowledge that God loves us very much and enables us to start again by offering His forgiveness to others.
So meet your child at the side of the alter and rejoice!
The time after reconciliation is a tender time, hearts are light and happiness flows. Taking an extra moment to thank God for the gift of forgiveness might feel appropriate. Take a few minutes at the Tabernacle or in the Marian Grotto.
Glory be
to the Father and the the Son
and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning,
is now, and ever shall be
a world without end.
Amen
After you and your child have taken a few minutes to pray and enjoy the presence of God, you can then go to the back of the church to receive a loot bag. We encourage you to settle into a pew and go through the loot bag together. Take this time to read your child the letter you wrote to them. Drop the rock off in the baskets provided (they will be spread in the gardens of the church in the spring). The peaceful setting with no outside distractions is a wonderful time to let Gods peace settle into your hearts. When you feel ready to face the world again, go out and rejoice in the gift of life God has granted us!
All of the sacraments are worthy of joy and celebration. Reconciliation is one of them. So feel free to make it a day of celebration. Enjoy your child's favorite meal, get their favorite treat or find another way to celebrate this sacrament together.
You and your child are now ready to take the next step in their faith formation. We hope you have found this unit to be helpful and that the activities gave you and your child opportunities to connect and learn together. If you have any questions or would like to connect with a member of the Faith and Family team, please don't hesitate to reach out. We are here to support you and partner with you in raising faith filled children!
Check out the FAQ section for further information
The Faith and Family Team at St Lukes