FAQ

What does the Church ask of parents in sacramental preparation?

Sacrament Preparation is a part of the privilege and obligation to “raise them in the practice of the faith” that you committed to during the sacrament of Baptism. The Church views parents as the first teachers of faith. We at St Lukes place a strong emphasis on the importance of the Domestic Church, your home, the place where your children are learning and growing already. We partner with you to provide you with the resources and instruction for guiding your children into the next phase of their faith journey.

How does my child begin to learn good from bad?

Children learn what is good or bad based on how different choices and behaviours are responded to by trusted adults. Depending on how we respond will teach a child if their choice/behavior was considered acceptable or unacceptable. For the first few years, you act as your child’s conscience, guiding them and showing them how to make good choices. By being intentional with how you parent, you can create in them a conscience that is alert and attuned to following Gods guidance. 

How can we teach our children to make good choices?

There is obviously no quick answer to this. However, by prioritizing our own good choices, through intentional pursuit of our own inner work aligning ourselves fully to God, we demonstrate to our children what it is to be Baptised and adopted into Gods family. Some choices are clear even if they aren’t easy; should you have an apple or a chocolate bar for lunch? Clearly the apple is a better choice, but chocolate is the tempting one. If only all decisions were so simple. Some decisions are moral choices, not just apples or chocolates. Learning to discern those choices is the ongoing work of being Christian.

When it comes to living life as a disciple of Jesus, we want to make good choices that honor our Lord and bring us closer to His will in our lives. But that’s not a simple task! The Holy Spirit is ever present to guide and support us, by developing a relationship with Holy Spirit we have extra help in making those good choices. Holy Spirit was gifted to us to act as our advocate, to intercede on our behalf:

For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. Romans 8:26-27

If you’ve every struggled with anger or anxiety, you’ve probably developed a fairly decent relationship with the concept of “Take a breath” Before you lose your mind at the clerk who seems to be intentionally going as slow as possible, take a breath. Before you spiral into panic because someone changed plans last minute and you now have to shuffle your whole day, take a breath. These habits are so good and help keep us in a headspace to make good choices, can you imagine how much more powerful that breath could be if you used it as prayer?

Inhale- “Holy Spirit”

Exhale- “Come into this moment”

Your child is just learning how to take a breath when they are confronted with big emotions or decisions about their behavior. If you can demonstrate to them how to pause, take a breath and ask Spirit to intercede, oh that little one will KNOW how to make good choices!

By talking to your child regularly about their decisions, good and bad, they will learn to identify the small still voice that is always present to guide them.

What is sin?

There are a few different ways to think about sin. Some sin is morally wrong; it is hurtful, deceitful, it causes pain and suffering. Lying to our friends, stealing from the corner store, using our words or our bodies as weapons; these are things that we can understand as wrong. But sin is also anything that turns us away from God. It’s the decisions that we make day to day that serve our own purposes before they factor in Gods will. This kind of sin is much harder to identify. It’s the sin that culminates (and accumulates) in feelings of disconnection, anxiety, insecurity and fear. The sin of turning away from God will inevitably result in feeling unworthy of His perfect love. The more you do it, the harder it becomes to turn back. God gave us free will, He respects that free will in every single moment and will never force us to choose Him. But oh how He rejoices when we choose right, when we choose goodness, when we choose God.

Sin is inevitable and thankfully, forgiveness is guaranteed.

What age does my child begin to develop a conscience?

Conscience is a complex and multidimensional construct that includes the capacity for moral reasoning, the ability to experience guilt and the moral self. In simple terms, knowing what’s right or wrong, feeling bad about doing the wrong thing and the internal desire to do the right thing.

We know that children as young as 2 can express feelings of guilt and we also know that around the age of 7 children are beginning to have a solid understanding of what is right and wrong. There is no black and white answer to a lot of choices, there is always context to consider so the process of developing our conscience continues as we experience the world. Helping our children to develop their conscience requires us to give them language and be patient in our explanations of why and how certain choices and decisions are perceived. Children want to be good, it is our job to teach them how to identify what that is and encourage them to choose well even when it isn’t easy. This skill set will give them the tools they need to withstand peer pressure and toxic relationships as well as equipping them to be strong leaders. 

What is the Sacrament of Reconciliation?

When your child does something that they know isn’t right; for example, they ignore you when you ask them to do a simple task, they turn away from you. They ignore your request that although it isn’t necessarily morally right or wrong, it IS a request that should be respected. If you are anything like me, the next few minutes after the ignored request might be a bit contentious. Depending on how my day went, I will respond with varying levels of patience. Now, imagine they came to you later that evening and apologized, acknowledged their fault and then tried to do better next time. Imagine they did that BEFORE you had to talk to them about it. 

God is our good Father, He doesn’t run out of patience for us and He never responds with anything less than perfect grace. The sacrament of reconciliation is us turning back to our Father and saying “I didn’t do it right here, I ignored you, I disrespected you and I am so very sorry”

Reconciliation is one of two healing sacraments. It renews the grace of baptism, returning us to perfect unity with the Father. 

What about the Sacrament of Reconciliation for adults?

We, as adults, are just as deserving of the abundant grace and love that our Heavenly Father longs to share with us. Everyday life is messy and hard. We get caught up in a myriad of situations, we all have unhealed wounds and coping skills developed in times of struggle. Your Father wants to take those burdens and heal your hurts. He wants to extend His loving embrace to you just as much as He does for your child. Reconciliation is a sacrament of healing. Jesus is present in our lives and wants to heal our fears, our insecurities, our anxiety. He wants to heal the things you can’t bring yourself to speak about. Jesus is waiting for you to seek His healing.

 If Reconciliation isn’t already part of your regular spiritual nourishment, we would encourage you reach out to our priests and make an appointment.