Writing Clarity and Precision

Definition: 

Writing Clarity: The quality of being clear, easy to understand, and free of confusion, ensuring an idea is communicated straightforwardly.

Writing Precision: Accuracy of word choice and language. Specific details and avoiding vagueness in writing. 

Example:

Before: The thing was really good, but the other stuff didn’t quite do what it was thought to. 

After: The new computer was excellent, but the fingerprint scanner and touchscreen did not perform as expected. 

By applying clarity and precision, a vague sentence with no substance becomes a strong, detailed statement. Every sentence should be precise and clear to effectively convey its message. 

WRITING CLARITY & PRECISION CHECKLIST

1. Vague/Undescriptive Words

2. Transition Words

3. Active vs. Passive Voice

4. Use of "it" and "that"

The use of "it" and "that" in academic writing lacks clarity and can confuse the reader. The subject can be lost in using "it" or "that," therefore losing a point in the process. 

Examples to avoid: 

Using "it" vaguely:

1. "It is believed that an increase in greenhouse gas emissions will cause climate change." What is it? Who believes this? Instead, reference a source or researcher that gives credibility. 

2. "It seems that Glacier Point in Yosemite will be closed for the winter." What makes it seem this way? Once again, "it" is too vague.

Using "that" vaguely:

1. "John exited the building and walked that way." Where is "that" way? This leaves readers confused. Needs to be more specific.

2. "That study shows the expansion of urbanization in Los Angeles." What study? Be more specific. Cite and reference the exact study. 

Instead of "it", use:   Instead of "that", use:

1. The study proves... 1. This evidence supports...

2. The argument highlights...         2. This perspective allows...

3. The research indicates... 3. Such an approach allows for...

4. The problem continues in... 4. These findings suggest....

5. The data demonstrates... 5. This concept is studied in...

5. Anthropomorphism

Anthropomorphism is a literary device that assigns human characteristics to non-human things, such as animals, plants, objects, and even concepts. While useful in fictional writing, anthropomorphism must be avoided in academic writing, as the literary device can cause confusion to the reader. 

Examples to avoid:

"The data suggests", "the results concluded", and "the study found." Using these phrases contributes a human act of "concluding" or "finding" to non-human things, such as data and studies. Additionally, avoid using human emotion to invoke a point or argument while writing. 

More examples:

"The data argues that..." - data can not physically argue like a human can.

"The theory believes that..." - a theory can not believe in something like a human can. 

6. First Person

The primary goal of academic writing is to present reliable, credible information to come to a conclusion for the reader. When the writer uses first person, "I" or "we", they harm the unbiased information by appearing to present personal opinions. 

Examples to avoid:

"I believe that this data shows...", "We are subject to...", "I think that...". These phrases introduce a personal opinion, that discredits an unbiased academic paper. Instead, simply state that, "This data shows...", "[Humans, Americans, Europeans, etc] are subject to...," "This proves...". These statements are neutral and are used to present an analysis of information, instead of a personal opinion.

First-person writing will make an academic paper seem less credible and formal, more like a conversation. Therefore, avoid using the first person for academic, formal writing. 

Examples of first-person:

1. "I"

2. "Us"

3. "We"

4. "Our"

5. "Myself"

6. "Mine"

Examples

Student Essay Excerpt Argument of cause: 

The Amazon stores 123 billion tons of carbon, the Amazon basin covers 2.8 million square miles. The area that the Amazon covers makes the Amazon the largest rainforest in the world. Deforestation does occur in other areas as well, though the interests of the rainforest have to be prioritized across the globe. Deforestation has led to a 25% decrease in precipitation and a 2.7-degree increase in average temperature. The increased temperature and decreased precipitation have started forest fires. Forest fires significantly increase the amount of carbon in the global cycle. Wildfires in Brazil and the surrounding areas in February 2024 emitted more than 9 million tons of carbon. 

The essay excerpt above contains errors with clarity and precision. The author uses wordy and redundant phrasing, introducing vagueness and clarity issues, diminishing the strength of the paragraph. There are grammatical errors, like comma splices and wordiness. Certain phrases, such as "the interests of the rainforest" and "increase the amount of carbon in the global cycle," are vague and need more precise wording. 

Revised Version: The Amazon stores 123 billion tons of carbon. The Amazon basin covers 2.8 million square miles. The Amazon is the largest rainforest in the world, spanning 2.8 million square miles. Deforestation occurs in other regions, but rainforest conservation must be a global priority. Deforestation has led to a 25% decrease in precipitation and a 2.7-degree increase in average temperature. Rising temperatures and declining rainfall have increased the risk of forest fires. Forest fires significantly increase the amount of carbon in the global cycle. In February 2024, wildfires in Brazil and neighboring regions released over 9 million tons of carbon. 

Chat GPT-Produced Writing Excerpt: 

The guy went over there to do the thing with the stuff, but it didn’t really go like, you know, how it was supposed to or whatever. So then he kind of just stopped and looked around, like, trying to figure out what to do next because, well, it was all kind of messed up. The other people were saying things, but it wasn’t super clear what they meant, and honestly, the whole thing was just sort of not great. Then, after a bit, someone else came over and was like, “Hey, what’s going on?” but nobody really knew how to answer because, well, it was all kind of a big mess. Some stuff had happened before, but not in a way that made much sense, and now everything was just sort of there, like, waiting for something to happen. Eventually, one of them was like, “Uh, maybe we should just, you know, try something else?” and that seemed like a good enough idea, but nobody really knew what “something else” was supposed to be, so they just kind of stood around for a while. 

The writing excerpt above has awful word clarity and precision. The inadequate use of precision and clarity makes this excerpt impossible to understand. The excerpt takes the form of just writing on a page conveying zero message and explaining nothing. Vague sentences need to be revised to contain specific details and clear wording. Filler words need to be removed to establish a better flow throughout the excerpt. Overall, improved word clarity, specificity, and logical flow need to be implemented. 

Revised Version: James walked to the workstation to assemble the device, but the process didn’t go as planned. He hesitated, scanning the cluttered table, trying to figure out his next step. The instructions were vague, and his teammates spoke in fragmented suggestions that didn’t provide much guidance. After a moment, Alex approached and asked, “What’s the issue?” but no one had a clear answer. Earlier mistakes had disrupted the process, leaving the team uncertain about how to proceed. Finally, Sarah suggested, “Maybe we should take a step back and rethink our approach.” It was a reasonable idea, but without a clear plan, they stood in silence, unsure of their next move.

Works Cited

"Active and Passive Voice." Walden University Writing Center, Walden University, https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/writing/scholarly-voice/active-passive-voice#:~:text=Active%20voice%20clarifies%20the%20sentence's,the%20action%20of%20the%20sentence. Accessed 11 Mar. 2025. 

Bernstein, Dennis. Precision Writing. The University of Michigan Aerospace Engineering Department, https://public.websites.umich.edu/~dsbaero/tutorials/PrecisionWritingV8.pdf.

Blinn College Writing Center. Vague Words Tables. Blinn College, n.d., https://www.blinn.edu/writing-centers/pdfs/Vague-Words-Tables.pdf.

Chesson, Dave. “First Person Point of View: Definition and Examples.” Kindleprenuer, July 2022, https://kindlepreneur.com/first-person/. Accessed March 2025. 

"Essay Transition Words." Grammarly Blog, Grammarly, 14 Dec. 2020, https://www.grammarly.com/blog/academic-writing/essay-transition-words/. Accessed 11 Mar. 2025.

Frazier, Kathryn. "Hidden Passive Verb Forms." Kathryn Frazier, 12 Mar. 2021, https://kathrynafrazier.com/2021/03/12/hidden-passive-verb-forms/. Accessed 11 Mar. 2025.

"Hancock College Writing Resources: Descriptive Words." College of Santa Barbara Hancock, https://www.hancockcollege.edu/writing/documents/Descriptive%20Words.pdf. Accessed 11 Mar. 2025.

"Hendrix College Strong Action Verbs." Hendrix College, https://www.hendrix.edu/uploadedFiles/Student_Life/Career_Services/Strong_Action_Verbs.pdf. Accessed 11 Mar. 2025.

Hurley, Denis. “Technical & Human Problems With Anthropomorphism & Technopomorphism.” Medium, 25 March 2017, https://medium.com/@denishurley/technical-human-problems-with-anthropomorphism-technopomorphism-13c50e5e3f36. Accessed 11 March 2025. 

Pexels. "White and Black Printer Paper." Unsplash, 10 Mar. 2020, https://unsplash.com/photos/white-and-black-printer-paper-oHoBIbDj7lo. Accessed 11 Mar. 2025.

“Precision and Clarity.” Oasis, Walden, 2025, https://academicguides.waldenu.edu/formandstyle/writing/scholarlyvoice/precisionclarity. Accessed 4 March 2025. 

“Precision and Clarity.” Office of Student Writing and Learning, The Chicago School, https://community.thechicagoschool.edu/writingresources/online/Pages/Precision-and-Clarity.aspx. Accessed 4 March 2025.

“What Are Parts of Speech in English?” Twinkl, https://www.twinkl.com.ph/teaching-wiki/parts-of-speech-in-english. Accessed 11 March 2025. 

"Write me a Short Excerpt With Poor Word Clarity and Precision." Chat GPT, GPT-4.5, https://chatgpt.com/.