Fear of sex: causes and solutions

Intimate encounters in a couple are an important source of reinforcement that allows the relationship to stay together. However, there are people who find at that time one of the greatest fears that must be faced, either by the panic of ridicule, not being up to the circumstances, possible pain that may occur during intercourse or other variants. This fear of sexual relations affects both men and women in different aspects and is much more common than it seems.

Currently, there are multiple types of fears, phobias and disgust in society, caused by the idea of ​​exaggerated control you have, perfectionism, excessive hygiene, among others. All this contributes to the constant appearance of more and new cases of panic to sex, which is reflected every day in the avoidance of practice, as the main mechanism, crisis of anxiety before the situation, it can even lead to somatization and appearance of diseases difficult to diagnose.

But how do you know if you are afraid of sex?

As best sexologist in Delhi points out, today there is a tendency towards “self-diagnosis through the search for information – rather misinformation according to the expert – on the Internet and after that a greater inclination to autotherapy or the attempt to self-treat. “However, from sexology this fear can be divided into several types. On the one hand, the real phobia of sexuality or any of the elements that encompasses it, such as pregnancy, coital behaviour or one’s genitals or the other. The phobic character also takes place that presents a more stable form of behaviour, by automatically regulating the crisis of anguish. And on the other hand, disgust.

sexologist in Delhi points out that both the latter and phobias have in common that they can become disorders if they become irrational fear. “It’s rational to feel disgusted if I touch or taste something disgusting, but it’s not if I stop having a relationship because I have some hair on my genitals or I force myself and my partner to shower always before and after the relationship,” exemplifies the expert.

Once this fear is diagnosed, the causes of its appearance must be known. The origin can be due to several reasons, such as the trauma caused by a rape or abuse, the anguish of a woman to become pregnant due to her mother’s own fear or to personalize the sexual problems of others in oneself.

However, at present one of the main causes derives from the search for perfection in sexual life. The media, the early consumption of pornography, the over information, are generating real pictures of panic about sexual relations. “Currently, there are men who, because of watching pornography with very little age and the irrational idea that this is what you have to do and with that power and staging, are overwhelmed and feel unable to put it into practice. When they have their first experience and they see how far they are from that irrational model, they enter an avoidance loop “, exemplifies sexologist doctor in Delhi.

Likewise, the excessive propaganda of hygiene products and their results is generating new lows and phobias. “Today the concept of perfect vulva, sold by plastic surgeons, has appeared. I understand that when there is a malformation someone wants to make it disappear, but turning a normal vulva, large, small, with more or less minor lips, object of personal rejection is an iatrogenic barbarity, “says sex doctor in Delhi.

Possible solutions

Although there are several reasons why the fear of sex may be present in the sexual life of any person, the existing measures to solve it are also varied. The first step is to identify the problem, once it has been achieved you should go immediately to a specialist in the field.

The top sexologist in delhi points out that “you should not wait too long to ask for professional help,” adding that “many try to seek outside help, face their fear courageously, they go to brothels, get married to force themselves, or self-introduce objects in your sexual organs. “On the contrary, you have to be aware and realistic when identifying the problem and go to the specialist in sexology or the psychiatrist. Best Sexologist in Delhi incurs that “you should never go to the search for detailed information or self-treatment.”

In addition, for this fear to disappear successfully, the help and support of the couple is necessary. This one plays a very important role. “The behaviour that the couple must adopt is to understand that the other has a problem and that it does not have to be the guilty person or the cause. The ideal help he can offer is first in convincing and then collaborating with him or her in therapy, “explains the Sex Specialist in Delhi.

Once overcome this fear, the next step is to achieve maximum security in the sexual area, for this we must “eliminate the concepts of perfect sex, the concept of tantric sex or Disney romanticism, which have done as much harm as the pornographic “, says Villegas. All have created a fear and insecurity or frustrations to distance expectations from reality. ” In sex, like everything else in life, safety is achieved through practice, ” says the Best Sexologist Doctor in Delhi.