Embedded Files
"Little Syd, Little Cherub"
Photo by Sydney Gallup
This cherub is broken and cracked, but they are smiling and look content. Look at how peaceful they are amongst flowers and plants, laying in the dirt pondering something that brings them to a smile. Exploring my gender and identity has brought me so much joy, it’s not all negative and not every day is difficult. I want people to see that in this image; I want people to see that I am content and when I think about “little syd” I know they would be so proud of where I am today and think I am really cool. They would be happy to know that I was able to stop procrastinating and meet with a psychologist to figure out what I was facing. They would love to know that I now understand why some things were so difficult in life. Oh gosh, Little Syd would cry knowing they are understood. Maybe this cherub is “little syd”, she’s in the garden, she’s a bit cracked and struggling, but she’s still whole.
This cherub is broken and cracked, but they are smiling and look content. Look at how peaceful they are amongst flowers and plants, laying in the dirt pondering something that brings them to a smile. Exploring my gender and identity has brought me so much joy, it’s not all negative and not every day is difficult. I want people to see that in this image; I want people to see that I am content and when I think about “little syd” I know they would be so proud of where I am today and think I am really cool. They would be happy to know that I was able to stop procrastinating and meet with a psychologist to figure out what I was facing. They would love to know that I now understand why some things were so difficult in life. Oh gosh, Little Syd would cry knowing they are understood. Maybe this cherub is “little syd”, she’s in the garden, she’s a bit cracked and struggling, but she’s still whole.
"Birth Control"
Photo by Kim Looby
"After 1 year without"
Photo by Kim Looby
2012-2013, Charleston, IL and Dallas, NC “Hair loss post hospital stay”
Part of my gender identity is having long hair. And part of illness is that sometimes that hair falls out. I lost 80% of my hair (called telogen effluvium) after a blood clot in my lungs (pulmonary embolism), ICU stay, and stopping birth control due to the increased risk of another blood clot from the estrogen. It fell out slowly over a year and I cried a LOT.
Unfortunately this is part of my disease process and now falls out every 3-6 months.
When your body is breaking down, watching your hair fall out hurts more than organ destruction. I can’t explain it.
I enjoy living in cities for a few reasons but one of those reasons is that we can pretend we aren't alone because there's a million of us. Impossible to be alone. I can sit on my balcony and hear people talking, horns honking, and a rugby match going on. I'm connected. For someone with social anxiety, this means I can be around people without having to engage. But even still, social anxiety does not mean I want to be alone and lacking community. And as a queer person, it's important for me to connect with other lgbtq+ people, for many reasons. I'll never minimize how frustrating it is though when I try to make friends and build my community, and my fears get in the way. I also get overwhelmed in thought and with managing my schedule. That makes developing friendships difficult too. I overthink what I say and fixate on it for weeks, I worry I'm not queer enough, I talk fast so as to not burden anyone or annoy them, and I overbook myself, forget plans, or dread the plans. My ADHD and social anxiety feel like a burden and a curse, because all I want is to be known by other queer people, to be seen, to be heard, to walk into a queer space and feel I'm allowed to be there.
I enjoy living in cities for a few reasons but one of those reasons is that we can pretend we aren't alone because there's a million of us. Impossible to be alone. I can sit on my balcony and hear people talking, horns honking, and a rugby match going on. I'm connected. For someone with social anxiety, this means I can be around people without having to engage. But even still, social anxiety does not mean I want to be alone and lacking community. And as a queer person, it's important for me to connect with other lgbtq+ people, for many reasons. I'll never minimize how frustrating it is though when I try to make friends and build my community, and my fears get in the way. I also get overwhelmed in thought and with managing my schedule. That makes developing friendships difficult too. I overthink what I say and fixate on it for weeks, I worry I'm not queer enough, I talk fast so as to not burden anyone or annoy them, and I overbook myself, forget plans, or dread the plans. My ADHD and social anxiety feel like a burden and a curse, because all I want is to be known by other queer people, to be seen, to be heard, to walk into a queer space and feel I'm allowed to be there.
Connecting with the queer community in Charlotte has felt impossible - I'm not quite there, yet it is right there.
Connecting with the queer community in Charlotte has felt impossible - I'm not quite there, yet it is right there.
"Quiet Queer in the Queen City"
Photo by Sydney Gallup
“Bridge and Me”
Photo by Othelia Lee
A bridge in Bosphorus Channel in Turkey unites Asia and Europe, two distinct realms. I too have traversed between worlds—low vision and sight, research and practice, Korea and the USA. In my journey, I have strived to become a bridge, connecting disparate lives and hearts.
A bridge in Bosphorus Channel in Turkey unites Asia and Europe, two distinct realms. I too have traversed between worlds—low vision and sight, research and practice, Korea and the USA. In my journey, I have strived to become a bridge, connecting disparate lives and hearts.
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