Bagpipe Blues

by Jhett Speed

So earlier this week I was driving home, listening to some tunes, when suddenly my car was filled with the lovely tone of fucking bagpipes. Now, much to my surprise the tune they were playing wasn't half bad so I decided to listen for a while. Couple minutes pass and I'm thinking "Wow, this song sure is going on for a really long time." Few more minutes and I'm starting to question this bagpipist's choices (though to be fair, they did choose to play the bagpipes and that's questionable on its own). Now 15 minutes in and I'm sick of it so I reluctantly change stations.

That should have been the end of it, but you know what, readers? The next channel had bagpipes too. As did the one after that. And the one after that. Bagpipes as far as the ear can fucking hear. So I turned the radio off. I've spent the last week commuting in silence.

Now, I don't like silence but I hate bagpipes even more. I've been told more than once that I'm not allowed to put open threats to our readers, but if I find out which one of you made my morning drive boring as fuck, I'm going to do something uncomfortable and violent. Whoever you are, fucking shut it down asshole.