Protocol

System responsibility is key when considering life as a system. Using the excuse of 'my headmate did it' to escape consequences for wrongdoing is not okay. The headmate that hurt someone else or otherwise did something faulty must own up to what they have done, and they don't get a pass for that simply due to being in a system. You need to take responsibility for the headmate's actions as a system even if you didn't do it. You may not be at fault specifically, but you still need to ensure that all harm is resolved. System responsibility is a difficult subject to navigate, but it's crucial to system life if someone just so happens to step out of line and harm someone else. Accountability is key even when living plural.

Be patient with your headmates as well. Navigating life as a system can present difficulties that singlets do not experience, and that is understandable due to the differences in lifestyle. Especially for new systems, patience is key. Understand that it takes time to establish a set of rules that work well for everyone living within the body. Learn to comprehend one another's boundaries also involves patience, but as long as you are willing to provide it to your headmates, you will understand one another soon enough.

Finally, communication is beyond important. Within the system, focus on communicating with your headmates and coming to understand what you all want and need on a regular basis. With others, say what you prefer. Set up boundaries for your system and guidelines for others to follow when interacting with your system. Speak about general preferences, such as collective pronouns for the system or what to do when you are forced to mask around others. Articulating all of this is crucial when communicating with others for daily life.

Every system is different and has their own boundaries. Be sure to communicate with them about what it is that they need. If a person trusted you enough to share their plurality with you, then that means that they are likely alright with you asking questions about how to interact with them in the future. Find out what's best for this system specifically through communication. These are general rules of thumb to follow even though all systems are unique with their own needs.

First off, believe someone if they tell you that they are plural. Someone knows their own head better than anyone else, and trying to insinuate that you know more about their life than they do is offensive at best and gaslighting at worst. There are enough misconceptions in the media and daily life that plural systems are often forced into hiding, and the last thing that they need is to deal with even darker and worse stigma on top of that.

Be patient with them. Being a system presents specific challenges that singlets do not fully understand, and working through this, especially in early phases of discovery, takes time and self-reflection. Give them what they need and understand that sometimes, patience is the best thing that you can provide.

Avoid asking questions that could be considered rude. Don't question them about if they're dangerous since fictitious media is not more reliable for information than systems themselves. Don't ask about the 'real' member of the system. Everyone is real, and implying otherwise is incredibly rude. Refrain from outing systems to others since this can be incredibly dangerous. Avoid asking about their trauma history as well, as this is highly personal information. Asking about system origins without consent as a whole can be a shaky train of thought since it can also imply the trauma history question. Essentially, don't probe boundaries that you have not been given permission to investigate.

This isn't to say that all questions are rude, as there are many inquiries that systems are happy to answer. If the question is asked with sincerity, you will likely get an answer from the system. It's alright to ask who is fronting at any given moment, and legitimate curiosities regarding plural life are also fine to investigate. If a system trusted you enough to reveal this fact to you, then they will be more than happy to answer these positive inquiries a majority of the time.

At its heart, this boils down to communication. Speak with the system in question and try your best to understand them. Questions are, most of the time, harmless, so ask away. If someone isn't comfortable answering a question, they'll tell you. Simply articulate your thoughts, and all should turn out well.