A letter to my son or daughter is easiest to write when you pick one moment, such as a birthday or graduation, and say three things: what you see in them right now, a memory you want them to keep, and what you hope for them. Keep it honest and specific, then store it safely so it lasts.
Kids change fast, and most of what you notice about them day to day never gets written down. A letter catches it. It also gives your child something to reread years later, in your own words and your own voice.
Small details matter more than you might expect. In a study reported by the Association for Psychological Science, students wrote about ordinary things, such as a recent conversation and the songs they were listening to, then read them again three months later. They had clearly underestimated how curious and interested they would be. Participants also said that reading a few sentences was enough to bring back the feelings of the moment. The everyday details you include, like a favorite snack or a funny phrase, may become the parts your child treasures most.
You don't need all of these. Pick three or four.
Who they are right now. Name a trait and show it with an example. "You always save the last bite for your sister" says more than "you're kind."
A memory. Choose a small one, not only the big trip. A Saturday pancake disaster can mean more than a vacation photo.
What you're proud of. Mention effort and character, not just grades, trophies or results.
What they have taught you. Children change their parents. Say how they changed you.
A hope, not a demand. "I hope you find work you enjoy" lands better than "make sure you become a doctor."
A snapshot of life now. Where you live, what a normal weekday looks like, what things cost, what music plays in the car.
A clear "I love you." Say it plainly. Then sign it and write the date.
A yearly birthday letter is a simple tradition. Write one each year and keep them together, or give them all at once on an 18th or 21st birthday. Short is fine. A page a year adds up to a real record of childhood.
What was this year like for them, in three words?
What were they into: books, games, friends, foods, fears?
Which moment from this year do you hope they remember?
How have they changed since their last birthday?
Graduation letters look back and forward at the same time. Mention the hard parts they got through, not only the finish line.
When did you see them work hardest?
What do you remember about their first day of school?
What advice do you wish someone had given you at their age?
What do you want them to know if the next step doesn't go to plan?
The day they were born or came home
The first day at a new school
A driver's license or a first job
Moving out, getting married or becoming a parent
A letter to open on a hard day, when they need to hear that you believe in them
The first time I held you, I...
Right now, your favorite thing to do is...
Something you say that always makes me laugh is...
I was proud of you this year when...
A time you were braver than you knew was...
Something I am still learning as your parent is...
I hope you always remember that...
When life gets hard, I want you to know...
Here is what our home is like today...
This is only an example. Your own words will be better.
"Dear Sam, today you turned 9. You asked for a chocolate cake shaped like a volcano, and we tried. It mostly collapsed, and you called it 'an eruption,' which made everyone laugh. This year you learned to ride your bike without training wheels after falling off at least ten times. You never quit. That is what I want you to remember about yourself. You also taught me to slow down and look at bugs. I love you more than fits on this page. Love, Dad."
Paper can last for generations if you store it well. The U.S. National Archives gives this advice for family papers:
Keep the temperature below 75 degrees Fahrenheit and the relative humidity below 65 percent.
Avoid damp basements, garages and hot attics, and keep items away from pipes, windows and roof leaks.
Use folders or boxes made of acid-free, lignin-free or buffered material, big enough to hold letters flat or upright without folding.
A digital copy is a smart backup. The National Archives suggests keeping your originals after you scan them, since digital files can easily be lost, and following the 3-2-1 rule: three copies, on two different types of media, with one copy kept off-site.
A few simple habits help too. Put each letter in its own envelope labeled with the date it was written and the date it should be opened. Keep them all in one place, and tell another trusted adult where they are. If you'd like to add drawings or ticket stubs, these time capsule ideas can help.
Any milestone works: a birthday, graduation, a wedding or a move. Some parents hand letters over right away. Others save a stack for an 18th birthday. Choose what fits your family.
One page is plenty. A short, specific letter is easier to write every year and easier for your child to reread.
Handwriting feels personal, and your child may love seeing it later. Typing is easier to back up. You can do both: write by hand, then scan it.
Use the prompts above and finish each sentence in plain language. Your child will care that you wrote it, not how polished it sounds.
Dear You: Daily Letters is built for letters to your own future self, not for sending letters to someone else, so it is not a way to deliver a letter to your child. If writing to your child stirs up your own thoughts about this season of life, it lets you seal a letter to yourself for anywhere from a week up to five years, and the letter opens in the app on its scheduled date. It is free with optional Dear You Plus subscriptions, needs no account and keeps your letters on your iPhone.
Get Dear You free on the App Store
Storing Family Papers and Photographs (U.S. National Archives)
Digitizing Family Papers and Photographs (U.S. National Archives)