Grief journal prompts give you a gentle place to start when your thoughts feel too big or tangled to write about. Below are prompts for remembering, hard days, firsts, holidays and anniversaries, and carrying someone forward, plus how to write a letter to the person who died.
Grief doesn't follow a schedule, and your journal doesn't need to either. The NHS says grief affects people in different ways and that there's no right or wrong way to feel. People often talk about stages of grief, but the NHS notes that you may not experience all of them, they may not happen in a particular order, and you may not move smoothly between them.
The National Cancer Institute says there is no typical grief response. It describes grief bursts: short periods of intense distress, often 20 to 30 minutes, that can be set off by reminders such as holidays or the anniversary of a death, and that sometimes seem to come from nowhere. For most bereaved people, it says, symptoms ease between 6 months and 2 years after the loss. Some days will be harder than others, and that's normal.
Pick one prompt. Not the whole list. One is enough for a day.
Write for a few minutes. Ten minutes or a few lines both count.
Go at your own pace. Greater Good's expressive writing practice, from UC Berkeley, suggests choosing what you feel you can handle now, and not writing about a severe trauma too soon after it happened or if it feels too overwhelming.
Let it be messy. Spelling, grammar and order don't matter.
Close gently. When you stop, do something steadying: make a cup of tea, step outside or text a friend.
What did their voice sound like when they said my name?
What's a story about them I never want to forget?
What did they always say, do or carry with them?
What did an ordinary day with them look like?
What made them laugh?
What did they teach me without meaning to?
What brought the grief up today?
Where in my body do I feel it right now?
What do I need tonight: company, quiet, sleep or something else?
What is one small thing I managed today?
What would I want a friend to say to me right now?
What first is coming up, and what am I dreading about it?
What happened recently that I wanted to tell them about?
What did I do for the first time without them?
Who could be with me on a hard first?
What surprised me about a first I've already been through?
Which traditions do I want to keep, change or pause this year?
How could I include them in the day, if I want to?
What would make this day a little easier?
What do I want to say to them on their birthday?
What do I want to do on the anniversary, and who do I want there?
What part of them do I see in myself?
What habit, recipe or saying of theirs do I want to keep?
How would they want me to spend a good day?
What has grief taught me about what matters?
Who else misses them, and how could we remember them together?
Some people find it helps to write directly to the person they've lost. You can write once, or keep writing whenever you need to.
Start with their name. Use the name you actually called them.
Tell them what's happened. News, small and large, since they've been gone.
Say what you didn't get to say. Thank you, I'm sorry, I love you, or all three.
Ask your questions. Write down what you wish you could ask them.
Tell them what you're keeping. A habit, a saying, a recipe or a way of seeing the world.
Sign off your way. "Until next time" is fine. So is "Love always."
Here are a few example opening lines. They're only examples, so change them to fit your own words:
Example: "Dad, the tomatoes came up this year. I planted them the way you showed me."
Example: "Grandma, I made your soup tonight. It wasn't the same, but it was close."
Example: "I keep reaching for my phone to text you, so I'm writing to you here instead."
Grief isn't something to fix, but you don't have to carry it alone. The NHS suggests talking to a friend, family member, healthcare professional or counselor, and considering peer support. It recommends seeing a doctor if:
you're struggling to cope with stress, anxiety or a low mood
you've had a low mood for more than 2 weeks
the things you're trying yourself are not helping
For some people, grief after a death lasts many months or years. The NHS calls this prolonged grief disorder. Signs include very difficult feelings that don't get easier as the months go by, spending a lot of time thinking about the person who died, difficulty accepting the death, not being able to return to everyday activities, and suicidal thoughts. The National Cancer Institute notes that talking with someone trained in grief and bereavement may help.
If you're in the US and in crisis or emotional distress, you can call or text 988, or chat at 988lifeline.org, to reach the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. It's free, confidential and available 24/7. If nights are the hardest part, this guide on what to do when you can't sleep may help.
This is general information, not medical advice. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist about your own situation.
Anything that helps: memories, letters to the person, what today felt like, what you miss and what you want to keep. There are no wrong entries.
Some people find it helps them make sense of what they feel. Research on expressive writing shows benefits for some people but not for everyone, and it can bring up hard feelings, so go at your own pace.
Yes. The National Cancer Institute says there is no typical grief response, and that for most people symptoms ease between 6 months and 2 years. If your grief isn't easing at all, talk to a doctor.
That's okay. Talking with someone you trust or joining a peer support group are other ways to work through grief.
Dear You: Daily Letters describes itself as a reflection and writing app, not a medical or mental-health service, so think of it as a private place to write rather than grief support. Personal Chapters let you organize entries by life season, past writing goes into a searchable private library, and app lock with Face ID, Touch ID or a passcode keeps it private. Notifications never show your words, and your letters and notes stay on your iPhone.
Get Dear You free on the App Store