The Final Paper Revisions

Group 1: Although several concepts are presented more than once, the overall writing is clear. The effects of dumping fill is mentioned multiple times, so you may wish to determine WHERE you want to make that point, and just make it once. Especially outstanding is the discussion of groundwater. It was smart to separate the discussion of surface water from that of groundwater. The figures are consistently labeled and adequately explained. The figures definitely add a "pop" to the paper: they are very colorful and informative. With regard to the images of slides along the Avenue, it would be helpful if you could be more specific on where, along the Avenue, the images were taken, ie west end?, east end? More central? In figure 1., it would be interesting to note that most of the landslides are along the west end. Good job in inserting the reference into the text, but be sure to include the year for all of them. Several suggested edits are made in the PDF that involve improvement of syntax and clarity of thought. Impressive list of references. Would “pervious pavement” preclude revegetation? Need to explain what pervious pavement is..

Group 2 paper exceeds 1200 words and exceeds 6 figures, thus not meeting parameters. It is otherwise well written and demonstrates real interest in the subject by the authors. There are many places where sentences could be trimmed and areas of repetition removed. The images are compelling. Figure 9 is very striking, in that it demonstrates the lack of concern of the person who is willing to park his vehicle so close to a slope that is showing the beginnings of a slide. In terms of mitigation by planting of trees, it must be considered that the slab material will be disturbed by such planting, and it will take likely months for the tree roots to significantly increase slab cohesion. In your Conclusion, you mention "predeveloped buildings." What are these? It would be interesting to hear more about the plan to improve the water drainage infrastructure.... Not sure I know what that would entail. An excellent paper, just longer than asked for.

Group 3: This paper exceeds the word requirement of up to 1200 words. The paper demonstrates good effort of the group, but suffers from repetition throughout. There is much trimming to be done. The figures are excellent, but the should be more inserted into the relevant paragraphs. That way the reader may find them as he/she is reading the relevant topic. The collage of newspaper articles is very interesting and adds a lot to the understanding of the progression of development and of the occurence of landslides.

Group 4: This paper shows excellent effort in exploring the landslide story along R. V. The choice of images was excellent. It brought back much of the details of the shoreline's landslide history. The cracks in the asphalt is so compelling! That photo also gives a clear indication of a lack of either awareness or personal disquiet on the part of those people who parked their cars there. Much of the paper has sentences that are confusing primarily because of putting too many ideas into one sentence, and also the use of unnecessary words. Scientific writing should be cut to the bone: clearly and attractively supply the information, add a touch of spice, compose a story and be done. Excess verbiage always dilutes content and interest. For your figure captions. decide whether you want them centered or left-justified... Right now you have them doing both ways. Excellent effort now the trimming!!

Group 6: This paper exceeds the limit of words and figures set by the assignment. There is a lot of excellent material in this paper, but it could be better organized and edited to remove topics that were already addressed. Sentences need to be clearer and not hold too many ideas into the one sentence. Here is a little trick when photographing a picture from a book (your Figure 4): Put a black or dark-colored paper behind the page you are photographing. That will prevent the words and images on the other side of the page from being seen. For me, I don't fully understand how the reinforcement depicted in Figure 7 works.....Maybe a bit more explanation in the caption would help.