Okay, so guess who just graduated 8th grade as the valedictorian? That’s right — this guy.
Honestly, I’m still kinda in shock. Like, I knew my grades were good (okay, amazing), but when they actually announced my name for valedictorian, I swear I felt like I just won the Super Bowl, the World Cup, and a lifetime supply of Takis all at once.
Graduation day was wild. We all showed up in these shiny blue gowns that made us look like we were about to join some secret wizard school. My mom was crying before the ceremony even started (classic), my dad kept trying to fix my cap like it was crooked every 3 seconds, and my friends wouldn’t stop saying “Speech! Speech!”
When it was finally my turn, I walked up to the podium feeling like the main character. I looked out at the whole gym — my classmates, my teachers, my family, random people I didn’t even know — and I started my speech. I tried to make it a mix of inspiring and funny, because no one wants to listen to a boring speech when they’re just waiting for cake afterward.
I talked about how we all survived middle school — the homework, the weird lunchroom food experiments, the fire drills in the freezing cold, and the mysterious smell in the locker room no one could ever identify. I thanked my friends for making every day more fun, my teachers for not giving up on me when I forgot my homework (like… twice), and my family for always cheering me on.
And then I said my final line, which I swear should go on a T-shirt:
“We walked into this school as kids, but we’re leaving as slightly taller kids who know a lot more about algebra.”
The whole place laughed, and honestly? That was the best feeling ever.
Afterward, everyone came up to take pictures with me, and I felt like some kind of celebrity. My grandma kept telling people, “That’s my grandson, the valedictorian,” like she was my PR manager.
So yeah — 8th grade is officially over, high school here I come, and I’m starting it off as the reigning champ of our graduating class. Valedictorian forever.