Okay, so this is the story of the greatest middle school flag football team in history… and how the evil, lying, totally jealous Skinner North ruined everything.
It all started when I joined my middle school’s flag football team with my boys — Zachary H, Brandon D, Levi M, Derek E, and Jordan R. We weren’t just good… we were ungodly. Like, destroy-everyone-by-halftime kind of good. The only game we lost all season was our first one, and that was against Albert Grannis Lane Technical College Prep High School. Yeah, I know, longest name ever. Pretty sure they only beat us because we were still figuring out who was gonna play what position.
After that? Straight W’s. Nobody could touch us. We were running plays like NFL pros. Derek was juking people so bad they tripped over their own legs, Levi was catching passes like a magnet, Jordan was fast enough to outrun rumors (foreshadowing), and me? Let’s just say I was making magic happen.
But then… the end came.
We were supposed to face Skinner North. Now, I’m not gonna lie, they were decent… but they knew we were better. So what did they do? PLAY FAIR? NOPE. They made up the dumbest rumor in history. They told everyone that our coach’s son — who was a freshman in high school — was actually a full-grown adult who was some kind of “security threat.”
Like… what??? How does that even make sense?? Did they think he was 35 years old pretending to be 14 just to destroy kids in flag football?
And the CRAZY part? The city believed them. Like, legit believed them. They actually gave the win to Skinner North without us even playing. Just handed it over. I’ve never seen something more unfair in my life.
We were furious. The whole team was ready to march over there and demand a rematch, but nope. The season ended with them getting the credit for being the “best team,” even though everyone — and I mean everyone — knew we would’ve crushed them like a juice box.
So yeah. That’s the story of how Skinner North became my mortal enemy. I will never forgive them. If we ever face them again, it’s over for them. No mercy.