Draft 2
“What are you doing after high school?” is a question many high schoolers are asked. Many of them are unsure of what destiny has had planned; and it is only the select few who have a true sense or even have a plan made for college. What most people end up doing is going to college. This is the main of inspiration of the life after high school. This comes along with one follow up question: what college will one attend? This question is all inspired through the many aspects of college life such as: the size of the college, what majors or courses it provides, the reputation or standing of the college, to go to a private or public university, and probably the most important of them all the college application. All of these elements are the keys to the making of a successful turn out.
The introduction to college life can be easily presented through the god Janus. Jon Boeckenstedt, an enrollment manager at DePaul University, explains how “the god who presides-at least symbolically-over important beginnings in a person's life” (3). He uses this as a representation of what most college students go through. How they are entering a new stage in their life; they create a new beginning for themselves; a new place to create or mold themselves into a new person. Like any new beginning there is a start or gateway, this can be defined as “the role of the admissions office in the minds of many people outside-and sometimes inside-of academia” (Bockenstedt 4). Bockenstedt again represents the admissions office as a gateway to a great college career. All due to it is where dreams could start, but like the god Janus; it is two-faced, as it is also a place where dreams could end.
There are a lot of misconceptions about the application process for colleges. Richard Weissbourd, a Psychologist and lecturer at Harvard University, has said that “Most high school students interpret colleges as being narrowly focused on their achievements” (8). Basically, what he is saying is that although colleges are looking at primarily looking at one’s grades, it only looking at one side of the coin. One must broaden their horizon, when creating the application. Weissbourd further explains this, as he reasons that “today’s culture sends young people messages that emphasize personal success” (8). This personal success is primarily thought that of academic achievement. All of these ideas and points that I have read has lead me to believe that the key to success is not only academic achievement but also, social achievement. These social achievements are defined on how one spends their own free time. Do they use that time to help out the community, to protest, extracurricular
I am not like most people in my age group. This was due to the abnormalities I had been born with, which could make college life hard for anyone who has developmental issues. Heather Wathington, the CEO of Maya Angelou Schools (schools that help students with certain handicaps or social/economic problems reach their potential), says that it is more likely that "students with developmental needs are less likely to earn a credential" (21). This is because of how most people with developmental issues originate from their lack of ability to think or comprehend simple ideas that the average of the age group might be able to understand. Wathington has concluded, in her prior research, that students with these types of disabilities may “need more than single-semester or summer developmental experiences to prepare them for the rigors of college-level work” (21). I am different as my developmental issues originate from the lack of growth in the frontal lobe of the brain, which causes a myriad of problems when dealing with everyday life. This means that I will have to deal with more problems that the average students will not have to deal with.
The four-year universities are the go-to of many students seeking a higher education and it seems today that many students “are concentrating in a major or pre-professional program” (Wathington 22). These studies include that of the STEM majors, pre-law, and even pre-med. Why is this the case? Well, because these majors, when taken and passed, usually have lead to some of the highest-paying jobs. These studies are great for students willing to study the curriculum. There is a huge problem in these studies though, the lack of diversity. These studies are usually lacking in diversity. Wathington, in her own research, has found that “those who abandon science majors and underperform in science and quantitative courses are Black Students” (22). The fact that there is a lack of minorities in these field could allow many to use it as a good advantage, when applying for college. This is especially so, because colleges are looking to accept more minorities who are serious about taking STEM or in any field that could lead to great success. These students could even end up gaining scholarships.. This is could end up benefiting me because, as a minority myself I might be able to use to my advantage.
Both private and public universities have been praised for their achievement in academic standing, but it seems today that all we see is contempt for going to a community colleges. This is not always the case as "Community colleges traditionally have provided a combination of liberal arts education and/or career training, depending on a student's goals and outlook." (Finkel 28). This was said by Ed Finkel, a writer and researcher for the Community College Journal. If this is the case, why don’t people think of community colleges as a downgrade? Well, the answer is more complicated than first thought. Mitchell Williams, who has an expertise in Community College Leadership and Adult Education, has said that "most Americans do not understand community colleges or recognize the benefits that community colleges provide for their friends, neighbors, and communities" (29). Obviously, if students are able to be provided education in many different fields of study then that means they can transfer into almost any college if they have the right grades, right? No, this is because a recent study has shown that "Among the students who enrolled at community college in 2007 and successfully transferred, 42 percent earned a bachelor’s degree. That’s far below the 60 percent of students who started at public four-year colleges." (Carapezza). This contradicts what Finkel and Williams have stated, in which community colleges provide a decent education for those who are unable to afford it. With the recent research contradicting what Finkel has said, it is this reason, that I have chosen not to go to a two-year community college.
Planning for the future is not and will never be easy. It will be overwhelming, as there are many obstacles that will be placed to hinder one’s chances of getting a higher education. The feeling of not knowing what the future holds will be a constant feeling, because of how we have lived in the lap of the luxury of having our future planned out for us for about eighteen years. Now it is our turn to face the world and face the uncertainty of what lies ahead of them. To me, the key to great college success is not only achieving academic glory, but also to social success. These ideas and setting high goals are sure to get one into the college of their dreams.
Works Cited
Bockenstedt, Jon "Outside the gates, looking in."Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, Peter Lang Publishing, pp. 2-19
Carapezza, Kirk. “Few Community College Students Make It To A Four-Year University.” The Huffington Post, 2 Feb. 2017, www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/community-college-transfer_us_569e64ebe4b00f3e9862e7db.
Finkel, Ed. “Being Good Neighbors.” Community College Journal, vol. 88, ser. 11, 2017, pp. 27–32. 11.
Wathington, Heather D. "Heading the Canary: How Higher Education Could Improve Outcomes for All Students." Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, Peter Lang Publishing, pp. 20-27
Williams, Mitchell R. "Still Trying to be All Things People: What it means for Students at Community Colleges." Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, Peter Lang Publishing, pp. 28-35
Weissbourd, Richard, et al. "Turning the Tide: Inspiring Concern for Others and the Common Good Through College Admissions." Making Caring Common, A Project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2016.
Please use the following considerations when doing your partner's peer response for the summer reading essay.
Peer Partner: Brianna Alvarez
Using a different color, type your comments:
Were at least 10 citations used in the paper? Were they done correctly?
Yes
Was the book cited at least 3-5 times using 3-5 different authors? Were they listed correctly?
Yes and yes
Were a newspaper, magazine, and/or journal cited? Were there REAL page numbers listed for both? Were they listed correctly? Were there any sources without page numbers? Were they published in the current year? Yes, yes, no, no.
Was the introduction interesting? Was it effective? Was the thesis stated well?
Did the essay make sense? Was it logical?
Was the essay written well? Was it interesting to read or was it boring?
Was a variety of styles used for the citations? Or was the same style used over and over? Same style
What suggestions do you have to "kick it up a notch"? Intro and outro could use more content
Did your partner's argument about the factors to consider when choosing a college make sense? Did you to understand the reasoning? Do you think they are correct?
They argued somewhat
Was the essay written with passion? Yes
Was the MLA formatting done well? Yes
Spelling errors? No
Grammatical errors? Yes
Draft 1
“What are you doing after high school?” is a question many high schoolers are asked, many of them are unsure of what destiny has had planned; and it is only the select few who have a true sense or even have a plan made for college. The main source of inspiration of the life after high school is: what college will one attend? This question is all inspired through the many aspects of college life such as: the size of the college, what majors or courses it provides, the reputation or standing of the college, to go to a private or public university, and probably the most important of them all(need colon here) the college application. All of these elements are the keys to the making of a successful turn out. (Good formal tone, maybe needs to be a bit longer. Seems too short for an intro paragraph)
The introduction to college life can be presented with the god Janus, and he “ is the god who presides-at least symbolically-over important beginnings in a person's life” (Bockenstedt 3). This is the representation of what most college students go through. They are entering a new stage in their life. They create a new beginning for themselves a new place to create their portfolio, to create or to mould themselves into a smarter or more intelligent being. Like any new beginning there is a start or gateway, “most concretely defines the role of the admissions office in the minds of many people outside-and sometimes inside-of academia” (4). The admissions office is a gateway to a great college career as it is where dreams could start, but like the god Janus; it is two-faced, as it is also a place where dreams could end. (The two-faced point is good)
There are a lot of misconceptions about colleges,(i think that comma is unneeded)and Weissbourd had said in a report that“Most high school students interpret colleges as being narrowly focused on their achievements” (8). Although, this is true,(again, excess use of commas) it is only one side of the coin. This is due to colleges not only looking for academic achievement, but also looking for what they have done for their community. This is seen through(transition seems a bit wonky)“ Too often, today’s culture sends young people messages that emphasize personal success” (8). This personal success is primarily that of academic achievement. All of these ideas and points that I have read has(should be have not has) lead me to believe that the key to success is not only academic achievement but also, “social”(the quotes are not needed)achievement.
I am not like most people in my age group. This was due to the abnormalities I had been born with. These abnormalities would have made anyone mentally retarded or handicapped, and it is more likely that "students with developmental needs are less likely to earn a credential" (Wathington 21). My developmental issues originate from the lack of growth in the frontal lobe of the brain, which causes a myriad of problems when dealing with everyday life. In fact some researchers say that students with developmental issues “need more than single-semester or summer developmental experiences to prepare them for the rigors of college-level work” (21). This is the main reason why college-life will be hardest(harder not hardest) especially for me.
The four-year universities are the go-to of many students seeking a higher education and it seems today that many students “are concentrating in a major or pre-professional program” (22). These studies include that of the STEM majors, pre-law, and even pre-med. These studies are the ones that usually help students for a future success. These successes are usually lacking in diversity as “those who abandon science majors and underperform in science and quantitative courses are Black Students” (22). As a minority myself I might be able to use(that)to my advantage.
Both private and public universities have been praised for their achievement in academic standing, but it seems today that "most Americans do not understand community colleges or recognize the benefits that community colleges provide for their friends, neighbors, and communities" (Williams 29). Yes, community colleges provide education and even a path for those who are unable to afford the full four-year education. Yet, this is challenged because "for all the work that community colleges do in preparing students either to enter the world or to transfer to four-year institutions...to some degree, it is a failure" (Sanchez 13). It is this reason, that I am not considering to go to a two-year community college for its failure to transfer(you mean to transfer its students?)to four-year institutions
Planning for the future is not and will never be easy. It will be overwhelming, as there are many obstacles that will be placed to hinder one’s chances of getting a higher education. The feeling of not knowing what the future holds will be a constant feeling, because of how we have lived in the lap of the luxury of having our future planned out for us for about eighteen years. Now it is our turn to face the world and face the uncertainty of what lies ahead of them. To me, the key to great college success is not only achieving academic glory, but also to social success. These ideas and setting high goals are sure to get one into the college of their dreams.
(conclusion is good - could be longer)
Works Cited
Bockenstedt, Jon "Outside the gates, looking in."Contemporary Colleges and (need indentation on citations)Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, Peter Lang Publishing, pp. 2-19
(Other sources are required to be from 2017, this is from 1998)Sanchez, Jorge R., and Frankie Santos Laanan. “Economic Benefits of a Community College Education: Issues of Accountability and Performance Measures.” New Directions for Community Colleges, vol. 1998, no. 104, 1998, pp. 5–15., doi:10.1002/cc.10401.(this isn’t really important but the background color for this citation is different than the others)
Wathington, Heather D. "Heading the Canary: How Higher Education Could Improve Outcomes for All Students." Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, Peter Lang Publishing, pp. 20-27
Williams, Mitchell R. "Still Trying to be All Things People: What it means for Students at Community Colleges." Contemporary Colleges and Universities: A Reader, edited by Joseph L. DeVitis, Peter Lang Publishing, pp. 28-35
Weissbourd, Richard, et al. "Turning the Tide: Inspiring Concern for Others and the Common Good Through College Admissions." Making Caring Common, A Project of the Harvard Graduate School of Education, 2016.