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Deep Sense of Self Realization
Deep Sense of Self Realization
Have you ever tried to get out of yourself, to travel through the silence for a moment, that moment when you leave the whole world behind you, when you take a step outside of your zone, when your brain travels across a long imaginary distance with no specific destination, and landed on the place where there is nobody else there except for you and your complicated emotions, imaginations, pains, worries, thoughts and fears. When your brain is focusing on something indiscernible, and not even allowing your pupil to move or your eyes to blink. At that moment you feel like you are not existing anymore! You start asking yourself a few questions like who am I?! what am I doing here? what is the purpose of me being here ? am I right or wrong? am I a good or a bad? am I a hero or an evil? whats my destiny? where am I headed? and what's is next? am I a real person or just a soul, or maybe a ghost, or a shadow will disappear once the sun sets? and an unlimited number of questions that pops up on your mind.
Have you ever tried to get out of yourself, to travel through the silence for a moment, that moment when you leave the whole world behind you, when you take a step outside of your zone, when your brain travels across a long imaginary distance with no specific destination, and landed on the place where there is nobody else there except for you and your complicated emotions, imaginations, pains, worries, thoughts and fears. When your brain is focusing on something indiscernible, and not even allowing your pupil to move or your eyes to blink. At that moment you feel like you are not existing anymore! You start asking yourself a few questions like who am I?! what am I doing here? what is the purpose of me being here ? am I right or wrong? am I a good or a bad? am I a hero or an evil? whats my destiny? where am I headed? and what's is next? am I a real person or just a soul, or maybe a ghost, or a shadow will disappear once the sun sets? and an unlimited number of questions that pops up on your mind.
I always believe that there is a stranger in me , a person who I don't even know, when I do or say something I didn't mean I remember that this is not me this is the stranger in me, when I do some mistakes, when I go to places I feel I don't belong to, when I talk to people I should not talk to, and especially when I look and act differently than what I used to, I feel this stranger, I feel that the stranger is the one who makes me wear the masks, which I can take off when I feel it's safe, and nobody is around watching me. But what about the other strangers around me, I always feel them, I believe that each one of us has a stranger inside, when my mom yells at me I tell myself that this is not her this is the stranger in her, because my real mom wouldn't yell at me , when my friends look and act weird, I tell myself that the stranger in them is the one who makes them do that, and sometimes I think that even the strangers around me also have strangers in themselves, and I don't know if that even makes sense. I think that this stranger inside us is the one who makes us select what to wear from the multiple masks that we have, a different mask every day we just have to choose the relevant one based on the situation, or the people we communicate with depends on who are they, and what kind of mask should we wear, and in which angle we want them to see us.
I always believe that there is a stranger in me , a person who I don't even know, when I do or say something I didn't mean I remember that this is not me this is the stranger in me, when I do some mistakes, when I go to places I feel I don't belong to, when I talk to people I should not talk to, and especially when I look and act differently than what I used to, I feel this stranger, I feel that the stranger is the one who makes me wear the masks, which I can take off when I feel it's safe, and nobody is around watching me. But what about the other strangers around me, I always feel them, I believe that each one of us has a stranger inside, when my mom yells at me I tell myself that this is not her this is the stranger in her, because my real mom wouldn't yell at me , when my friends look and act weird, I tell myself that the stranger in them is the one who makes them do that, and sometimes I think that even the strangers around me also have strangers in themselves, and I don't know if that even makes sense. I think that this stranger inside us is the one who makes us select what to wear from the multiple masks that we have, a different mask every day we just have to choose the relevant one based on the situation, or the people we communicate with depends on who are they, and what kind of mask should we wear, and in which angle we want them to see us.
We all have a part of ourselves which we dislike, or we do not want the world to notice, the part that we always try to conceal . I think that wearing the fake masks can help me sometimes, It makes me recognize who I truly am, it provides me a position of safety to hide my anxieties behind, when I wear the mask I know well that this is not me, so I start working on myself to find my identity that I've lost by wearing these masks.
We all have a part of ourselves which we dislike, or we do not want the world to notice, the part that we always try to conceal . I think that wearing the fake masks can help me sometimes, It makes me recognize who I truly am, it provides me a position of safety to hide my anxieties behind, when I wear the mask I know well that this is not me, so I start working on myself to find my identity that I've lost by wearing these masks.
There are many different types of masks; there is the identity mask which is the one I wear to hide who I really am, to hide the part of my identity that I don't like it to appear to the others. There's the emotional mask, this mask protects me from vulnerability, the one I wear to hide my fear, weakness, failure, grief, and pain. Sometimes I think it can be benefit for me, because it helps me control my feelings and turn my sadness into a strength that can heals my broken parts and makes me move forward and forget the bad memories that I've experienced, and take my next step.
There are many different types of masks; there is the identity mask which is the one I wear to hide who I really am, to hide the part of my identity that I don't like it to appear to the others. There's the emotional mask, this mask protects me from vulnerability, the one I wear to hide my fear, weakness, failure, grief, and pain. Sometimes I think it can be benefit for me, because it helps me control my feelings and turn my sadness into a strength that can heals my broken parts and makes me move forward and forget the bad memories that I've experienced, and take my next step.
The problem comes when I lose the sense of my original identity, when I have those many masks, I feel I become like a chameleon that changes its color frequently to suit the environment's color, where I end up having a different character in each different environment. By the end of the day, when the time of taking the mask off comes, each time I remove it I feel like I'm removing some of my own skin.
The problem comes when I lose the sense of my original identity, when I have those many masks, I feel I become like a chameleon that changes its color frequently to suit the environment's color, where I end up having a different character in each different environment. By the end of the day, when the time of taking the mask off comes, each time I remove it I feel like I'm removing some of my own skin.
When I look at the mirror I ask myself who am I? am I wearing a mask or that is the real me, I used to open my gallery and view my old pictures every time I feel lost and have a hard time with recognizing myself and who am I. I have a lot of pictures, a picture for everyday I lived, I like to take a lot of pictures to have memories, I think I need them to remember who I was and who I am right now, it makes me remember the experiences I went through, and the difficulties that I've faced before, and what was my reaction at that time.
When I look at the mirror I ask myself who am I? am I wearing a mask or that is the real me, I used to open my gallery and view my old pictures every time I feel lost and have a hard time with recognizing myself and who am I. I have a lot of pictures, a picture for everyday I lived, I like to take a lot of pictures to have memories, I think I need them to remember who I was and who I am right now, it makes me remember the experiences I went through, and the difficulties that I've faced before, and what was my reaction at that time.
"Events worth photography. After the event has ended the picture will still exist." Susan Sontag. I definitely agree with Susan Sontag that photographs will be existing when the events ended, which makes me remember what happened before, and everything happened to me, it gives us the opportunity to realize that I have changed, and to ask myself if I'm satisfied with who I became, or I simply got used to it.
"Events worth photography. After the event has ended the picture will still exist." Susan Sontag. I definitely agree with Susan Sontag that photographs will be existing when the events ended, which makes me remember what happened before, and everything happened to me, it gives us the opportunity to realize that I have changed, and to ask myself if I'm satisfied with who I became, or I simply got used to it.
When I see the date that my old pictures were taken at, I understand how time can change everything, time can heal my wounds, it can arrest my sadness and turn it to happiness, how it can change my short comes and failures, it makes me understand that every single trouble that I went through was a big reason of growth and a great lesson I have learnt to become who we I am now, it shows me how long was the stair that I stepped on, and how many struggles that I have faced through that journey until I reached some of my goals.
When I see the date that my old pictures were taken at, I understand how time can change everything, time can heal my wounds, it can arrest my sadness and turn it to happiness, how it can change my short comes and failures, it makes me understand that every single trouble that I went through was a big reason of growth and a great lesson I have learnt to become who we I am now, it shows me how long was the stair that I stepped on, and how many struggles that I have faced through that journey until I reached some of my goals.
Since is the number of photographs that could be taken of anything is unlimited we can take a lot of pictures everyday and every moment that we feel it is important or something we want to remember, photography makes us feel that the world is more available than it really is.
Since is the number of photographs that could be taken of anything is unlimited we can take a lot of pictures everyday and every moment that we feel it is important or something we want to remember, photography makes us feel that the world is more available than it really is.
When I look at my selfies and the normal pictures that I take, I look at my face and at my smile, I'm seeing myself, but is that the real me in the picture? am I smiling from inside too, or I'm just hiding the deep sadness in my heart behind a smile that tries hard to cover my soreness and stress, my complicated feelings and emotions, covering my hate of a lot of things going on around me, my sickness of life and how it goes against me every time I try to be stronger and fight it, my tiredness of fake people around me and the lies and fake love they show to me, the disappointments I get every time I trust and expect more, and a lot of things that can not be written. I realized that this the girl in the picture is not me, it's a picture I draw to my self to look happy, the real version of me is not smiling all the time, the real me is full of sadness, she's tired, she's exhausted, sometimes screaming and crying , the real me is always struggling, she looks strong and independent and nothing can break her, but she's just a set of broken pieces that every time she tries to put them together and glue them she injures herself.
When I look at my selfies and the normal pictures that I take, I look at my face and at my smile, I'm seeing myself, but is that the real me in the picture? am I smiling from inside too, or I'm just hiding the deep sadness in my heart behind a smile that tries hard to cover my soreness and stress, my complicated feelings and emotions, covering my hate of a lot of things going on around me, my sickness of life and how it goes against me every time I try to be stronger and fight it, my tiredness of fake people around me and the lies and fake love they show to me, the disappointments I get every time I trust and expect more, and a lot of things that can not be written. I realized that this the girl in the picture is not me, it's a picture I draw to my self to look happy, the real version of me is not smiling all the time, the real me is full of sadness, she's tired, she's exhausted, sometimes screaming and crying , the real me is always struggling, she looks strong and independent and nothing can break her, but she's just a set of broken pieces that every time she tries to put them together and glue them she injures herself.
After spending time taking a lot of selfies and choosing the best one, we finally post it on social media just for showing people that we are cute, we are happy and living our best life even if we are not, we lie to ourselves even before we lie to others, but the question is why do we do that ?! maybe because we don't like to show others our sadness , even though we know that this is not us, we just want to look perfect on people's eyes, even though I don't believe that there is something or someone can be perfect in this world, we just use this vocabulary to to describe something we really like, or we say it when we admire someone's look or charisma, but it is not true, we are full of imperfections which is make each one of us different than the other, and we just need to admit that fact.
After spending time taking a lot of selfies and choosing the best one, we finally post it on social media just for showing people that we are cute, we are happy and living our best life even if we are not, we lie to ourselves even before we lie to others, but the question is why do we do that ?! maybe because we don't like to show others our sadness , even though we know that this is not us, we just want to look perfect on people's eyes, even though I don't believe that there is something or someone can be perfect in this world, we just use this vocabulary to to describe something we really like, or we say it when we admire someone's look or charisma, but it is not true, we are full of imperfections which is make each one of us different than the other, and we just need to admit that fact.
I believe that I'm a dozen of different thoughts and believes, a group of emotions, and a collage of experiences, the hard and the easy ones the small and the big, the expected and the sudden, the great and the miserable ones, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, everything is meant to be in order to make who I am now. I just need some confidence, some power, faith and strength to push me forward, to make me believe that life is full of difficulties and disappointments, but it's also full of chances to be happy and optimistic , and I know that there are a lot of days when I will feel pain and emptiness, but I'm sure that once I pass them, I will realize that they meant to be to teach me the lesson of being stronger. Those hard days are just bridges for me, and once I pass them I will eventually arrive my destination with the enough growth and maturation I need, and when the progress comes I will forget everything bad that happened to me before.
I believe that I'm a dozen of different thoughts and believes, a group of emotions, and a collage of experiences, the hard and the easy ones the small and the big, the expected and the sudden, the great and the miserable ones, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, everything is meant to be in order to make who I am now. I just need some confidence, some power, faith and strength to push me forward, to make me believe that life is full of difficulties and disappointments, but it's also full of chances to be happy and optimistic , and I know that there are a lot of days when I will feel pain and emptiness, but I'm sure that once I pass them, I will realize that they meant to be to teach me the lesson of being stronger. Those hard days are just bridges for me, and once I pass them I will eventually arrive my destination with the enough growth and maturation I need, and when the progress comes I will forget everything bad that happened to me before.
Works cited
Sontag, Susan. “In Plato’s Cave.” On Photography, Dell Publishing, 1977, pp. 3-24. Composition Flipped,
Sontag, Susan. “In Plato’s Cave.” On Photography, Dell Publishing, 1977, pp. 3-24. Composition Flipped,
writing101.net/flip/wp-content/resources/documents/sontag-in-platos-cave.pdf.
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