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The unfamiliarity of the familiar
The unfamiliarity of the familiar
With the large number of places I've visited before, every single place has a special memory in my mind, a different sense that makes it unique and unforgettable. I feel that every place has its own identity that creates the power of it which affects on me in a many different ways.
With the fact that I've grew up in these places, I feel that they also grew on me, until they became an essential part of me, and without them I won't be the person who I am today. There's a complex relationship between me and those places, some of them I always remember and I can't forget them no matter what, and there's some of them only pictures remind me of, and what I do is just skip them and look at something else, maybe because I didn't like that place, or I had a bad memory there, or the people who were there made it something I don't want to remember , or it just wasn't a good idea being there. However, I don't regret being in any of these places, and I believe that every place has surrounded me before left an effect on my identity and made who I am today.
Some places have a magical power, that power makes an attraction between my soul and those particular places. Definitely, without discovering those places I wouldn't have these emotions toward each one of them, I'm so glad that I had the chance to visit them and not settle in one place, and without discovering those places I wouldn't have those great pictures. "The principle of adventure allows me to make photography exist. Conversely, without adventure, no photograph." Roland Barthes’ Camera Lucide. I agree with Barthes idea, photos have an adventures behind them, and without those adventures photography would never be as how it is now.
I believe that there's one place where I feel the comfort and safety, where I feel that I'm connected to, which is what makes me want to go back to wherever I go, and no matter what the time is, the place where I belong to , where I feel I'm protected loved and welcomed, this place is home, and home is not a tangible material or a physical location, it can't be limited or minimized to just a house, it's much more than a four wall structure, home is a sense of peace and protection , a place where I don't feel like a stranger, a place where everything make sense to me.
I always ask myself where is my home? Is it the hospital that I was born in? Or the first place I lived in, or is it the house that I moved to when I was five? is it my aunt house where I used to spend a lot of time in? Is it my grandparents house, where I used to set with my grandmother and listen to her interesting stories that I've never understood? Or is it where I'm currently living? I still can't determine where my home is, but what I know is that place is in my mind and deep in my heart, and I feel it from a time to another, but what I know is that place somewhere around, and it's familiar to me, maybe it's one of those familiar places that I know, but what if those places are not really familiar to me, maybe I got used to see them in my daily life without focusing or paying attention to them.
I never thought about those places around me, until I glanced through some pictures I took , it made me pause, I looked again, and I asked myself, where are these places? Even if I know the answer, but I still feel that they're somewhere I don't know.
It' the same parking lot that I see everyday, but I've ever noticed that it can fit this large number of cars, even though sometimes I can't find a spot to park in! Looking at these pictures makes me ask myself, how many cars does this parking lot fit? what is the most luxurious car has entered this parking lot? how many cars park her everyday? is it the same number of cars daily? how many cars have ever parked in my current spot? a meaningless questions comes up to my mind without any specific reason.
I've never noticed how adorable my college looks when it's covered by this pure white color, I feel that this whiteness telling me something, its telling me how beautiful life is, it's telling me that pureness and happiness are always around me, I just need to look closer to see them, It's also telling me to be optimistic, and to not lose the hope, there's always something better is waiting for you and the best is yet to come. I took another moment staring at those pictures, I saw the freezing trees, with their motionless branches and lifeless roots, with their missing leaves, with their need of sunshine, with the long wait to be animated with the brightness colors again. They're waiting for anything that can give them the sense of life that they've lost.
The sorrow of the chairs and tables was obvious,they haven't been used in a while, I felt their longing for people, for friends arguments laughing and stories and concerns. They're also waiting for the sun that can melt that ice from them to tell people that they still exist and they can be used, since nobody is noticing them.
The same routine and same places where I used to walk in every time I come to college, maybe that is the reason behind not seeing those details , I haven't noticed that beautiful architectural design and the shape of some buildings, the beautiful building D looks from inside, the quotes on the walls, the stairs that I use every time I walk to class , the reflection of the lights on the floor, the reflection of the trees on the water, my shadow and those many cracks in the ground, and so many other details.
Seeing this building remind me of the hard time I had with the registration, when I registered late and I couldn't find the classes and the schedule I wanted, and the hard time dealing with the employees who wanted to put me in the wrong classes without even understand that I don't need them. Unfortunately, it was the same day of my high school graduation party, when all of my friends arrived to my house and waited for me while I was trying to figure out what should I do, I spent hours sitting in front on the computer trying to find classes for my first semester, after I got a call from the registration office saying that it's the last day I can register before the Christmas break, when they'll be off until the third of January, but at that time I won't be in Chicago, because we were planning to go to Canada in a couple of days, and in the time I'll be back I won't be able to find any seats left, and the classes will be full, I couldn't even register online for some reasons. Everything was complected, the college was empty and all of the employees left except for me, the registration lady, the security man and the cashier who was waiting for me to put my payment down. After all of that stress that I had, I believed that God sent me an angle, when I believed that there's no way to deal with this, this guy was such a miracle, he walked toward me, with his angelic smile, I can remember how professional he was, he helped me with everything I needed, he was like the blessing that comes in the last minute. Eventually everything worked out for me, after that crazy long and unforgettable day.
I'm pretty sure that my memories wouldn't be clear without these pictures, since the world became like a photo album, where everything you want to know or see you can find as a photograph, I can't even imagine how the world would be without photography. " I see photographs everywhere, like everyone else, nowadays; they come from the world to me, without my asking" Roland Barthes, Camera Lucide. Even though, those pictures come to me without even asking for them, I still have that passion of taking them, because they remind me of where I was and where I am now, and who I was and who I become today.
Work cited:
Barthes, Roland. Camera Lucida. Translated by Richard Howard, Hill & Wang, 1980, pp. 16-59. Composition Flipped, writing101.net/flip/wp-content/resources/documents/camera_lucida_excerpt.pdf.
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