Dora's Musings

You can feel war in the air. It is like a tension that is audible. It would not take a mage to tell you what is coming.

I am trying to enjoy every sunny and happy day that I can. There will be few in the future. It feels good, riding in the crisp air and sunshine of the Southern Hills, surrounded by good friends and good people. These are the days to remember. Then I recall why we are together. We are marching to war. It sings in my veins and interrupts my thoughts. My blood desires it while my heart and mind wish it were not so.

I worry about Perry, alone with treachery. No, not alone but vulnerable. I understand that I have been manipulated. We all are and that is way that life twists and turns. It is sad to so mistrust my own race, but politics is not a game I enjoy playing and I am afraid that I have missed some signs. I do not believe the High King would come along so easily after everything....and yet he has. I do not believe for a minute that the church has that much influence over him. I have also created a schism among the Dwarves that will either change us or defeat us. I pray that we can act as one until the war is over, and then heal. I did the best I could do, and I believe to my core that it was the right thing. Now we have a chance to do what other races have done. Now we have a chance not to die out.

Now we go to war. *sigh*

I am a proponent of change and yet I fear it a bit as well. That is probably healthy. If fear for Sterling and her future. I feel a great sadness with me not being there. She is so strong. Stronger then many could believe - and I think that we walk separate paths. We will always have a bond of friendship and love between us, but we each have our own desires for our world. We both have the fire to set people free - but we are drawn to different people, in different places, for different reasons. I wish often, mostly lately, that we could go back and just have it be Sterling and I on the road, battling whoever go in our way. Enjoying freedom. But we have met so many wonderful people in our time and seen so many things that I would not take back at any price. At least the memories will always be ours. I was not sure, long ago, that I would even survive long enough to have memories. *smile*

Look at what we could do! I believe I can chase the dream of changing Feudalism from within to be a fair form of government and let ALL men shine and balance corruption. I believe that I can at least begin the very long and bitter battle to heal race relations between humans, dwarves and elves.

We all have so much to give!

Battle, there is that word again. It surrounds us. For all its evil, it has been a tool of change. Change that was required. Lee challenges my reasons for fighting the Lich. Lee - how will he fare and how do I make him understand? The Lich vilifies life and nature. If he were to win, Man would live, but it would be with death and corruption all around him. He would change and degrade until all that would be left of the earth would be darkness and evil. It would be wrong.

The problem with is questions is that life can not always be lived completely rationally and explainable. Some of it is heart and soul. How do I make him understand that I can feel it in the earth and in the air. The Lich must be defeated. It is just True. How do I make him understand?

What will become of him? How can I be there for him? He is so easily swayed. He is not connected to this earth. I am afraid of what would happen to him if he fell in with the wrong people. He is so powerful and yet so naive. Not a good combination. I need to make him understand love, loyalty and what is right. I will give him all I can. War. There will be casualties. I fear for those I love. I just found my husband and just regained my family. I guess that they are all things that will drive me forward, drive us all forward to win!

Battle is singing in my veins on this beautiful day of travel with my friends. I will hold this day in my heart until I need it. Then use it to fight the inevitable dark and fear that I will face.

Sterling, ride strong and never look back! Your cause is just and your heart pure sun. Your spirit will burn whoever wishes to defeat you! Just remember to laugh and remember that love is not always pain.

We all need to remember laughter and love. It will be a weapon in this war.

War......

Dora rides forward to catch up to Sterling and Kieshla. She had fallen behind in her musings. She slaps them both on the back, laughs and asks Sterling to lead them all in a song. She breathes the crisp air and sunshine deeply, smiles and remembers it all - to be used later...later.

Can you feel it in your veins???