Today, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts lifted almost every single mandatory measure put in place to protect everyone from COVID 19, over 14 months after we all took everything we could carry out of the schools and home with us, with no idea what lay ahead.

Since then, so much change: an abundance of change for me personally, for my family, for the country, for the world.

I knew that I would likely one day write a blog entry about the pandemic, and there yet might be more, but today I talk about social justice, and the change I am undergoing. The murder of George Floyd was as important of a moment to me as it was to almost everyone in the world for each of us to define what we can and should do for social justice. As I watched this country struggle to choose which message to hear from the onslaught of professional and social media, I was not struggling with what I thought was right, I was coming to the decision that I could give myself permission to fight for it.

For decades before George Floyd's death, I have struggled with my role in social justice. For better or for worse, my background and geography for pretty much my whole life have kept me from virtually any experience of discrimination, as a white straight protestant cis-male of European heritage growing up among people in a place with very little ethnic diversity. My privilege set me well into a place where I had the luxury of deciding when to or not to be outraged, and as I look back, I fear I have spent most of my life taking advantage of that luxury.

I have spent my life discovering my implicit biases, little by little. I have then incrementally been learning ways to embrace my values and live my life with integrity. Despite this, I know that there are a number of excuses, rationalizations, and escapes that have empowered me many times to say "this is not my fight", or "my voice does not make sense here". The murder of George Floyd has forced me to say that it is time to ignore the voices that bolster my lifelong excuses to let someone else act.

If it's not my fight, make it my fight. If my voice can matter, and can add volume to the message, then I will use it. It doesn't have to be my gender to need and have my support. It is not culturally appropriative for me to join a culture's fight for equality, it is right to add my voice. A fight for what is right is my duty as a human.

I have a responsibility as a teacher to teach. My students will always have different views, and as middle school students, they are very much works in progress. I will always strive for every student in my room will feel safe to be who they are, and they will always be encouraged to see to it that they have a role with me in bringing that about. They may not know my vote, or know my candidate, but they will know my values. They will know when they walk into my classroom, that it is a safe place for all of them, and together, we will always serve to make it more so.

Seek opportunities to bring about change. Don't just wait for them to appear. What can I do this year, this month, this week, today, to make an impact. Waiting for convenience can last a long time.

You may never know what your model can do or has done for someone. Don't evaluate your success based on feedback. There are so many people, many I will never meet, whose actions will have inspired me to a lot of this. You may never hear from anyone about the good you've done, but that's not why you did it, right?

Friday, April 23 was "A Day of Silence", a nationwide student-led demonstration by the LGBTQ community and its allies to take a vow of silence for a day to protest LGBTQ discrimination in schools. That day was in the midst of our school vacation, and right in the middle of our return to full five-day in-person learning. We chose to observe it a month or so late, on May 28.

Should I take that vow for the school day? I'm not a member of that community. It will affect my ability to do my job to the best of my ability. There are plenty of other ways for me to show support. These are all the excuses that my privilege afforded me my whole life. It was time to take a risk and take the pledge.

Well, about 275 students watch me struggle to teach my planned curriculum from 8:05 to 2:25, without saying a word. My colleagues were a tremendous support. In one of my classes, one colleague who is always there in an assisting role was ready to bail me out if I couldn't get my message across. If he spoke to anyone, I didn't hear it. I never addressed the class as a whole, and I discovered that I was grateful for that. I think I got my content across, and I'll fix any problems next week in about three minutes. The classes were as focused and attentive as I had ever seen any of them. I think the net gain in learning was significant. I think I lost nine pounds in the process, and took an hour nap when I got home, but I don't have to wish I had tried it.

I don't ever meet my goals. I don't ever match my expectations. I have worlds of work to do to be the person I set out to be just over a year ago. I won't let that fact ever be an excuse, either. I will fail. I will fall short. I won't give up.