The difference between those who are self motivated versus those who victimise themselves as ‘stuck’ is simple - it’s the attitude.

Obstacles can either flatten you or fuel you. Again, it is all about the attitude. When we allow obstacles to overwhelm us with a fearful or ‘can’t do’ attitude we fall pray to self victimisation. What we want to maintain is the ‘can do’ attitude.

Below I share 5 tips how:

1. Gratitude is the number one motivator - through gratitude, empower yourself every day by looking in the mirror at the amazing being you are and tell yourself exactly that!

2. If you encounter a tough experience, instead of beating yourself up, assess what you can learn from it. Become a self-analyzer and explore within yourself to find out what growth you can take away from this and evolve into. See the challenge as an opportunity to learn!

3. Ask the universe for support! Meditate or write it down - this works for me every time! I write letters to the universe describing in detail what I need and by when. At the end of the letter I thank the universe as if it is done, put the request in my mental storage cabinet at the back of my head and put the letter away. Never fails.

4. Tap into your passion and purpose! The more excited you are about something the faster you overcome your obstacle and achieve your goal.

5. Through self-awareness, look, listen and feel for those signs and take only inspired actions steps. These come in all shapes and forms - look out for them!

Good luck friends and stay excited - your positive energy will be contagious towards the right people, fantastic situations and outcomes!

Does this help you? I’d love to know ~ Jaya

Inspiring Message on My Insta: (click here)

1. Be aware of your thoughts and

inner dialogue towards yourself

2. Declutter and still your mind

3. Start by telling yourself "I love and

accept myself exactly as I am"

4. Switch off your inner critic by

focusing on something positive

When I talk about beliefs, I’m not referring to religious beliefs but to beliefs we were conditioned towards from childhood. These beliefs shape everything you think about. Every moment in every day is created based on what you believe.

This is not a bad thing but if you continually invite unwanted experiences into your life and want to shift your outcomes into another direction, it might be time to examine your beliefs and thoughts.

How on earth do we change what we believe in? I’d like to say it is possible because I have changed certain beliefs and thoughts about myself. The first belief I changed taught me how to accept myself exactly as I am, and own it.

How did I do it? I did this by being aware of my thoughts through stilling my mind. Through this process I started noticing my thoughts. Over time my awareness grew where I was able to pick up thoughts when I said something negative to myself about myself. When I noticed this, I quickly replaced the thought with words about how great I felt and why. This was a bit of a game I played with myself. The more I did this my mind got used to hearing this and I began to transform my energy. Soon after experiences, feelings and circumstances unfolded that drew me towards positive outcomes and people.

I’m not saying ‘fake it until you make it’ because for me that doesn’t work. I do believe things change once we declutter and still our minds and adopt an attitude of gratitude.

So, the next time you brush your teeth, wash your hands or are just walking to work, tune into your mind and repeat “I love, approve and accept myself exactly as I am.” Start your journey from there and watch the rest of the process unfold, naturally.

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~Albert Einstein

Someone pushes your buttons - you're

agitated. A situation riles you up, you

can't get it out of your mind - you're

infuriated.

How do you build your inner and

outer armour to stay calm though

these experiences?

Someone pushes your buttons - you’re agitated. A situation riles you up, you can’t get it out of your mind - you’re infuriated. How do you build your inner and outer armour to stay calm though these experiences?

Our first reaction is to react, get defensive, feel hurt or attacked.

When we havent realised how much our emotions matter or are not determined to manage our emotions to change the direction of our experiences, chances are we will become triggered leading to outcomes we may not want. Ideally we want to catch our emotions before they reach that momentum.

Those who trigger us are likely acting out of insecurity or fear. Within them there is some old insecurity which left an imprint that shaped them to think and behave how they do today. Only they don’t realise it because they haven’t thought about it.

The 6 steps below help me because you can’t change others but you can change how you react.

1. Don’t react. Stay calm, step back. Is there is a perspective this person has that you had not thought of? Staying calm will make room for that person to ‘hear’ you too.

2. Choose compassion. This isn’t ‘accepting’ how this person treats you but, knowing they have insecurities see them with a compassion-lens. Whilst it doesn’t ‘right’ their behaviour, it helps you remain calm.

3. Sleep on it. This resets your mindset which helps you view the situation calmly, versus through agitation.

4. Random act of kindness. Research shows acts of kindness trigger your happy hormones. Do something nice for another person; spend time with your pet!

5. Let go of the need to control an argument. This removes ego and allows ‘flow’ where your calm state nudges things to fall into place.

6. Ask yourself “what is this experience teaching me?” Is it patience? a voice to push back? or how to say no? View this situation as a part of your growth. Step 6 was an eye opening game changer for me.

7. Meditate, review your gratitudes, exercise to release happy hormones to recalibrate your perspective and emotions.

I’d love to know what steps you take to manage your triggers. ❤️ Jaya

Did you write down your aspiration

on a vision board but - nothing

happened?

I’ve heard you say ”I wrote down what I wanted on a vision board but nothing happened”. This is why.

Visualising to manifest is not writing down a wish & expecting it to magically appear! It’s a structured way of achieving goals & aspirations effortlessly by syncing up your thoughts, emotions & intuition. This technique has become second nature for me - it’s something I practice daily &, research shows athletes & CEOs practice this - so it’s not magic but science.

So why does it work? Visualising to manifest removes self-doubt & resistance that prevent you from taking steps towards your goal. Just thinking about what you want doesn’t get you results - it’s the action you take through visualisation that does. We do this at work, so how do we apply this personally?

1. Write your wish list & state why & how achieving these will help you. Here, you’re rewiring your brain to recognise why your wishes are important.

2. Imagine yourself taking steps towards what you wrote. Imagination is the visualisation which rewires your brain into an “I can do” versus the reasons why “I can’t do” because you ‘see’ how things could turn out.

3. Feel excitement, joy, anticipation, satisfaction. Visualization triggers my body to feel tingles of excitement & gratitude in anticipation of what’s coming & because I ‘feel’ it, I let go of control & trust the process. Physical emotions are important because research shows they attract our experiences.

4. Recognise people & situations you meet as opportunities to help you manifest your goal. If you can gain clarity through 5 mins of daily meditation, all the better. Meditation builds intuition (ability to see beyond the eye).

These steps are how I choose to live my life & have helped me. Bear in mind, if something doesn’t manifest then it’s not meant to be - there’s always a silver lining.

Let me know how you feel when you practice these steps - most importantly - try to have fun & let go of control because that’s when the best things come to us! ❤️ Jaya

Switch your perspective from how

this person makes you feel and

react, to how you could and want

to feel to stay calm. This is the shift

in perspective that invites balance

and positivity into your

conversations and situations.

We all know toxic people. I have used these 5 ways to build personal resilience against their impact towards me, which has helped me to maintain positivity, balance and calm. The result switches my perspective from how that person ‘makes me feel and react’ to how I ‘could and want to feel’ to stay positive. This shift in my perspective enables me to let their negativity ‘slide off’ bringing in positive situations and conversations instead. I hope this helps you too.

1. Breathe. This brings us back to the presence. Here you become mindful of how that person makes you feel physically, emotionally and mentally. When you notice how you feel you can recognise those triggers and set boundaries.

2. Set boundaries. Practice speaking to that person in front of the mirror. One boundary might be to say ‘no’. Another might be to state ‘how you wish to be treated or spoken to.’

3. Observe that person’s behaviour - be a fly on the wall. This detaches you from their negative influence, giving you insights to respond objectively. When we detach ourselves emotionally it becomes easier to see things with a clear lens.

4. Be aware of your thoughts. The more you focus your negative thoughts on how they make you feel, the more those thoughts empower negative emotions including lack of self-confidence / esteem, fear, resentment, self-judgement. These emotions grow within you turning into experiences that go against you. So, catch yourself and change those thoughts by focusing on a thought that induces a positive emotion.

5. Let that person’s comments ‘slide off’ - don’t engage, breathe, walk away and detach.

Often, toxic people misdirect their emotions towards others due to inherent insecurities. Rising above it through compassion and empathy often unleashes their vulnerability opening the door to deeper human connections and experiences. ❤️ Jaya

...change that inner dialogue where

you tell yourself off about what you

did or didn't do, how you look and

Over time you will learn how to

what you said.

manipulate your feelings to 'attract'

situations that bring you happiness

and the results you want.

I hope you will try the mirror challenge

given in the post.

You can’t change what you didn’t do and you can’t undo what you did.

One of the most common conversations we have with ourselves is our internal dialogue where we reprimand ourselves about what we did or didn’t do; said or didn’t say. We judge ourselves for how we look or what we think others might think about us.

We call ourselves lazy, ugly or stupid - in the hope it will motivate us to ‘be better and do better’. We all do it. I do it too. However the difference for me between now and then is that now I recognise these thoughts within seconds, stop them, then switch these thoughts to something else. I stop the inner dialogue in its tracks because now, I notice it.

Every time we judge or talk to ourselves in this way we lower our self worth and self-confidence. Imagine if you repeatedly talked to a loved one in this way - how would they feel about themselves and their ability to be their best? How would their relationships be with others?

Therefore a challenge for you this week:

Look in the mirror, hold your gaze and tell yourself out aloud “I love you [state your name] because [name], you are amazing exactly as you are and absolutely WOW.”

Saying and hearing these words out aloud might sound odd to you at first, but as you hold your gaze notice how this triggers an uplifting feeling of self confidence, self-compassion and a flurry of happy hormones.

Remember - as we fill our own cup, our cup overflows leaving us less dependent on others to fill it for us. Do this one for yourself ❤️Jaya

..because how you feel syncs up to

your life experiences and situations.

manipulate your feelings to 'attract'

situations that bring you happiness

and the results you want.

Did you know your mood is the best indicator of what you attract into your life? All because how you feel attracts the high and low situations to you. If you’re frequently in a bad mood, or wake up on the wrong side of bed, you will feel out of sync, that life is a struggle and an uphill battle. You will not feel ‘in the flow’ as you would when you’re in a good mood.

Naturally it is not possible to feel good all the time but there are two things that I would like to remind you of.

1. The Law of Attraction is your best friend and will bring to you whatever situations you ‘feel.’ For example - if you feel down about your relationship or your job, it is unlikely you will see improvements because your perspective will match your feeling.

2. Your emotions are your guidance compass because they feed you with information about who you are, what you want, how to get there and whether you are on or off target. For example - if you feel inspired and excited about what you do, likely you’re on the path to success.

Therefore, pay attention to your mood and how you feel. Over time you will see patterns between how your feelings catalyse your experiences. Practicing this enables you to manipulate your feelings to ‘attract’ experiences that bring you happiness.

Occasionally, in a conversation I will pick up on something I said and immediately reorient myself to the direction I want to think and feel.

Understanding the formula that ‘thoughts become things’ empowers you to create the life experiences that work for you. I hope you give this a try. ❤️ Jaya

...With 'what can I do to approach the

situation fearlessly to change my

outcome?'

This leads to a more open minded

outlook, increased possibility,

confidence and bravery to overcome

whatever holds you back.

If there’s one thing I have learnt to do, that is to identify my fears and address them. To be honest, it’s not something I decided to do organically but as patterns of repeated experiences replayed in my life it drove me to self-reflect.

The self-reflection process of ‘what can I do to approach the situation fearlessly to change my outcome,’ led me to a more open minded outlook and as a bonus my self-confidence sky rocketed.

Famous philosophers have said fear is: False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear is made up of our own thoughts, emotions, conditioning and beliefs that we get wrapped into. For example we may have a fear of the the dark, of being alone, speaking up to defend ourselves or confidence to be ourselves, stemming from our childhood. When I decided I wanted bravery, that was the day I took charge of my life.

So, how did I begin? Acknowledging there was a force bigger than me; stating appreciatiation towards positive experiences; showing empathy and compassion towards those who hurt me and forgiving past hurts. This process opened the channel to my inner voice, which in turn improved my decision making, which resulted in positive outcomes. My increased confidence drove me to address my fears. Therefore you could say the decision to address fears helped me to make choices that resulted positively.

So how do you start? The next time you feel fear take a deep breath and imagine breathing out that feeling until a calm state takes over. Repeat until the feeling subsides. Add all the above steps to begin your practice.

Finally - see fear as your teacher. What have you learnt about yourself through self-reflection? For me it was an awakening that helped me see life with possibility and a whole new mindset. I wouldn’t want to live life any other way. ❤️ Jaya

…..to help you stay in a 'good

headspace' despite what

happens around you, to you and

who you meet.

2butterflies_by_jayk

Emotional detachment to me means remaining resilient and detached enough to help me stay in my ‘good headspace’ so that I am not affected by a situation or another person’s state of being.

My life experiences have taught me to remain in this space despite what is happening around me. Little did I know, this skill was an asset that would help me get through many tough times later on.

No person or situation is responsible for how you feel. You are responsible for how you feel and what you give out to situations.

When we feel personally affected by people or situations or, the need to rescue others we feel drained. The art is to remain resilient despite what happens to us or who we encounter, which enables us to stay strong though every situation in our life. This is also where the energy we project will become contagious!

Once you stay consistent in this energetic state of being you will become a magnet for all things positive and you will love the way things in life turn out for you. You will find peace and happiness in all people and situations. You will realise your goals easily because you would have learnt the art to manifest experiences the way you envisioned. You will love how everything works out for you, effortlessly both the big and small things.

How do you start? Appreciation of what you already have. I can’t state this enough but it is a fundamental step to helping you remain in that headspace which will help to get you through the tough times.

This week challenge - find one thing today that you appreciate and focus on that. ❤️ Jaya

Changing how we think is not an easy

feat to achieve but it is possible. It all

begins through baby steps and

remaining consistent in our practice - all

because we believe the end result is

indeed worth the effort.

“You can’t run before you can walk.” For those who have not heard this saying it points to trying to do something difficult or advanced before you have made sure you can successfully achieve something simpler.

Changing how we think is not an easy feat to achieve but it is possible. It all begins through baby steps and remaining consistent in our practice - all because we believe the end result is worth the effort.

Let’s take the road to better health, as an example. When you decide you want to change your body or improve your health you will exercise or adjust what you eat. To see results you will exercise regularly and make healthy food choices. You won’t practice this for just one day then look in the mirror wondering why you don’t look or feel any different. You will trust the process and know that you must remain consistent with your program to see results. Personal development works in the same way. Being consistent in your practice is what gets you to that end result.

Therefore, if you’re adding gratitude to your day, start with a couple of statements then add more. If you want to meditate try 1 minute and then another. Don’t beat yourself up over anything you didn’t do, just keep going every day.

When I decided to change my life it was because my thoughts were filled with resistance, I didn’t practice gratitude and I feared the worst from everything. I also didn’t meditate. There was a pit in my stomach every day until I decided I didn’t want to feel that way anymore. This was when I took those baby steps. My personal transformation didn’t magically happen but being consistent in my practice made it happen.

Think of personal development as a learning journey and not a one day course. Keep going because once you start you will never look back. ❤️ Jaya

People and situations that trigger you and

throw you off balance are your biggest

teachers. The only way to grow is by going

inward.

What is this person or situation teaching me

about myself that I need to grow into?

In the past, when triggered by a person or situation I would be launched into a state of anger, hurt, blame, fear, or frustration.

My triggers came from either a parent, friend, relative, teacher, colleague, my spouse or my child or stranger on the street (for some of my friends it was a politician!).

When I accepted that those who threw me off balance were my ‘greatest teachers’, this was a powerful lesson for me.

As I grew in awareness I saw how draining it was to react to triggers and the power they had over me. What changed? I learned to feel the difference between high and low emotions. I incorporated a few minutes of daily meditation to feel good and I applied a ‘lesson quiz’ which I talk about below.

Managing emotions and triggers can be one of your hardest tasks and I’m sharing my story because I believe, until we develop this skill, triggers will continue to push our buttons and patterns will repeatedly ‘happen to us’.

The lesson quiz is generally related to love, forgiveness, trust, healing old wounds, fostering open mindedness, patience, acceptance, compassion and empathy, to name a few (what is this trigger telling me about myself, where can I grow, how do I do it). By all means - not an easy process but worth the effort.

Why? Because actively taking the time to get to know who you are to enhance the way you think can propell you into an incredible journey of self development. Just like you, I am still triggered, but now I am aware of the lesson a situation is teaching me. The meditation calms me and reminds me of the feelings I want to experience - all of which gets me back on track quickly.

What do you do to manage your triggers? ❤️ Jaya

Getting what you want in life won't

bring you peace and happiness. It's the

peace and happiness you build inside

yourself, that will lead you towards

getting the life you want.

Getting what you want won’t bring you happiness. It’s the happiness you build inside yourself, that will lead you towards getting the life you want.

Anyone who knows me well will tell you that I am ‘all about manifestation’ as a huge part of how I live my life. Manifestation has become a buzz word but what does it actually mean?

Manifestation is not wishful thinking but, it is attracting something you want into your life through a 3 step process:

1-think about what you want

2-raise your positive vibe through appreciation, meditation, choice of words and thoughts

3-trust that what you want is unfolding towards you.

It sounds simple but the reason why some people don’t succeed in manifesting is because:

1-they lack confidence in themselves

2-they question the truth of manifestation

3-they question how and when their ‘request’ will show up.

Trusting the manifestation process is the most important part of any successful manifestation. However, this doesn’t mean that you sit back, do nothing and just wait for what you asked for to come to you. You need to do your part to raise your vibe in order to manifest.

Why? Because once you raise your vibe you will want to declutter your mind, which develops a solution driven mindset. You will feel filled with joy and peace through this and it’s here you will have that inner knowing and insight towards signs for every next step. It’s here where things fall into place through that guidance. Before you know it, you you will become a magnet for all positive experiences and positive outcomes leading you towards your best life. Have fun with it because when you do, life is so much easier ❤️ Jaya

Identify an area in your life that you are

forcing to make happen, to make it work out

the way you want it to.

Read the blog to find out what happens when

we do this and how to change this.

This week’s challenge: identify an area in your life that you are forcing to make happen, where you are putting in huge amounts of energy to make it work out. It could be a friendship, a relationship, something in your career or a situation. What is it?

When we force situations we exude a vibration that signals a need to control the outcome, because we don’t trust the universe to bring it to us. This is emotionally draining and can lead to the opposite of what we intended with that friendship, relationship, career etc.

So what do I do when I feel emotionally drained because I am forcing something?

I take a step back. I detach myself from the situation through meditative practice - meditation releases my need to control the situation because it rebalances my emotions and provides clarity.

I self reflect. Self reflection pushes me to analyze why I’m forcing an outcome - what am I afraid of? am I forcing something for the wrong reasons?

When we apply this thought process - it is here where we find our clarity, purpose and answers. It is also here where we see guiding signs and, it is in this space that we start to manifest the life we want to live. ❤️ Jaya

When you learn how to quieten your

mind and thoughts, you notice

'coincidences' that change your

thinking from "I wonder what I should

do next?" to, "I know that what just

happened now, is the perfect

conversation, perfect person or

perfect event aligned towards my

desired outcome."

Please don’t give up! In fact, you can change anything just by changing the images, thoughts and emotions you focus on. As I posted last week, it’s your mindset that shapes your reality and by changing your mindset you can change your reality.

Nearly all of the thoughts you’re thinking about today are going to be similar to what you had yesterday and the day before. So if you believe life is hard and unfair, your experiences are going to be similar.

You might not know this but scientists have discovered that your DNA strands can be altered and influenced by your thoughts. Science has also proven that your physical body is a reflection of how you think and feel therefore, you are the sum total of your thoughts and emotions - all of which shape your mind, body and soul. For example - the thought you are having right now is indeed creating that soon to come experience.

So, it’s when you learn how to quieten your mind and thoughts that brings incredible change into your life. You will notice ‘coincidences’ that nudge you along your path. Your thinking will change from “I wonder what I should do next?” to “I know that what just happened, is the perfect conversation, perfect person or perfect event aligned towards where I need to be.”

What speeds this up? Meditation or, practicing relaxing your mind. Whilst it can be frustrating to switch off - it’s only when you learn to quieten your thoughts, that your mind shifts from resistance and stress to positivity, knowing and trust. Start with 1-2 minutes of quiet time daily and build it up. The rewarding feeling will stay with you all day and is irreplaceable! ❤️ Jaya

1. Exercise

2. Meditate

3. Gratitudes

Simple but transformational!

With a little practice you can reduce your stress levels, and below are 3 practical things you can do starting today!

1. Start your day with some form of exercise. Whether it’s hitting the gym, yoga in your living room, walking your dog, swimming or dancing - all exercise releases endorphins that put you into a good mood, clearing your head space.

I start my day with a 30 min run and have done this as part of my morning practice for 19 years. Whenever I don’t, I� feel a considerable difference in my clarity, emotions and physical state.

2. Incorporate mindful meditation. Whether it’s 5 or 15 minutes of breathing, repeating mantras or just closing your eyes to bask in your ‘feel-good sensation,’ expanding your energy field - research shows that meditation triggers endorphins that relieve stress.

If I don’t meditate after I exercise and before I get to work, I’ve lost my window of opportunity. This is why I choose to follow my daily run with 15 minutes of meditation. This way I stay accountable to my feel-good sensation and begin my day with clarity.

3. State 3 gratitude affirmations every morning. Whether it is an “all is well”, “thank you for my body”, “I love my life because….”. Psychological research shows gratitude releases endorphins that switch our mindsets to a glass half full versus half empty perspective.

We’re always searching for the next best thing. Gratitudes remind us of all the incredible blessings we already have and when you state your gratitudes, one page is never enough!

Once we make a habit / ritual of doing things to make us feel good, our brain expects more of it. If we remain consistent with this practice, stress and negativity find it harder to creep in because our brain-filter has learnt how to sieve out the stress to let in more of the optimism. Over time, you recognise a shift in your mindset..

Simple yet transformational! ❤️Jaya

Kindness doesn't cost you anything

but the rewards you reap shows a

profit' in everything.

Only when you show love and

kindness towards yourself, can you

truly display the same towards others.

Kindness doesn’t cost you anything but the rewards you reap shows a ‘profit’ in everything.

Several years ago when I was going through a difficult time, I could not get my mindset out from a downward spiral. This is what helped me:

I practiced basking in the feeling of love and kindness, as much as I could. How do you bask in love and kindness when you’re feeling down?

Well - how do you feel when in love, when you cuddle your pet, when you spend time with your kids, family or besties? Now imagine those situations as if it is happening right now. Even though it’s in your mind, what do you feel within?

When I was going through that tough time, conjuring up feelings where my body and mind would fill with love and kindness, just by basking in it, helped me to get out of that state of mind. I started to operate on ‘cloud nine’ from this self-imposed dopamine-filled emotion.

As I became better at conjuring up these emotions, I mentally showered all of my interactions with this feeling. Through my mind I practiced sending a laser light of love and kindness to everything and everyone I met and what happened next was incredible.

My heart space opened. I learnt to accept and approve of myself, making me feel whole. I forgave those who hurt me. I began to understand that healthy personal and professional relationships stemmed from the love and kindness I held within myself, for myself. Basically - only once we learn to fill ourselves with love, kindness and acceptance can we truly love, show kindness and accept another.

This simple practice is an amazing little secret that created an intensely healing relationship with myself and towards others.

So, a little experiment for you - I ask you to spread this feeling of love and kindness towards every interaction. Try this to see the changes it brings about in your interactions - as I mentioned, kindness doesn’t cost you anything but the rewards you reap shows a ‘profit’ in everything.

You have the power to change your

life. You just need to unlock that

power from within.

It starts with adding one simple

practice every day, to shift your

thought pattern towards a better

feeling emotion. What's it for you?

“This is happening to me” vs. “This is happening for me.”

One of the best things we can do for ourselves is to shift from a mindset of feeling out of control, or a punching bag from life (‘happening to me’) towards a thought process where we recognize that what happens to us is an opportunity to grow (‘happening for me’).

Let’s put this into perspective.

You’re struggling with a situation at work or home. Nothing is working out your way and naturally, you feel distressed that the situation is outside of your control. Time goes by, your thoughts and emotions intensify and soon you feel you’re at breaking point.

Ideally we want to address the situation before we reach breaking point but what if you’re new to this?

When I started out, I did what I could to change my thoughts to ‘feel good.’ I worked out, talked to trusted friends, meditated, wrote statements of gratitude & affirmations, journaled and visualised my ideal outcome - anything that self-soothed to shift my thoughts.

Why does this help? Because the more you practice shifting your thoughts, your brain eventually gets good at recognising the difference between the emotions that feel good versus those that don’t. Soon after, your brain naturally opts to feel good, which prompts you to act in ways that concur with those good feelings, leading to your preferred outcomes.

Over time your thought patterns change, where now, you know what to do to feel better. Even more, now you can hear your inner mind giving you a solution to that decision you’ve been struggling with, direction towards a path you’ve been unsure of taking or, inspiration to do something you’ve been procrastinating on.

So you see - you all have this ability - you just need to unlock that power from within. It starts with adding one simple self-soothing technique to your day to shift into a good feeling emotion.

I’ve shared my techniques, what works for you?

Let's unite on World

Mental Health Day and remind

ourselves that real strength is when

we can openly share how we feel

and, accept and help those around

us, non judgmentally, when they

don't feel ok.

“When the going gets tough, the tough gets going.”

Let’s unite today, on World

Mental Health Day and remind ourselves that real strength is when we can openly share how we feel and empathize and help non-judgmentally, those around us when they don’t feel ok.

When someone shares how they feel, let’s remain open to really ‘hearing’ those conversations. What I was reminded of recently was that listening is not the same as hearing. We often forget the difference. I’m still learning and applying.

There isn’t a one size fits all solution towards mental well-being. When a person is struggling, they might not want a solution, but just an empathetic ear. They might be afraid to speak out, for fear of feeling judged. They might come from a culture where sharing is weakness, so they stay silent. They might already have a self-coping tool-kit but have forgotten what to do.

We’ve all experienced a form of mental instability at some point in life and, we all know more than one person who is battling with this today, in some way.

So, my ‘ask’ of you today: as a society let’s encourage more open conversations about mental health. Let’s remind those around us that sharing and asking for help is indeed a form of strength. Let’s be open to learning new techniques to improve our mental wellbeing. Let’s train the next generation starting from kindergarten, simple practices of gratitude, compassion and meditation to self-cope as they grow. Let’s mentally empower people with a tool-kit of what to do when the going get’s tough because let’s face it - life is tough.

Let’s unite to become ‘light workers’ to lift each other up to make a difference - not only today but everyday.❤️Jaya

Happy diwali to all those celebrating the Indian new year & the festival of lights!

Happy Diwali! May the new year be filled with an abundance of health, happiness, harmony, peace, prosperity and love! 🎉

Any type of change can be hard to

accept and get through.

Nurture your internal self as you

would your outer physical self, to

build a structure that stays strong

through everything that could

shake you up.

Yes, accepting change is never easy - in fact, change is scary because it’s new, out of our comfort zone and we don’t know what to expect on the other side.

Our first reaction to change is to push it away and resist it. We say no, that we can’t change the way we think or do things because it doesn’t work and we know better - afterall, we’ve been operating in this way for a long time. Resisting change comes from fear of the unknown and it is this fear that holds us back. It may also be our lack of self-confidence, thinking we are not good enough to evolve through a new challenge.

In my case - it was only when I learnt to accept new situations, that I took this as an opportunity to re-evaluate my life, my mindset and my behaviour. These new situations opened the door to discovering my strengths, purpose and passions, resulting in my growth and self-confidence. The self-confidence taught me to accept myself, empowering me to overcome obstacles and navigate through situations I never thought I would previously have been able to handle.

Yes, change can be scary, but it is also important, to help us grow and discover who we are and what we are capable of.

Some techniques I use to help me navigate through change include meditation, gratitude, goal setting and incorporating a can-do attitude. This has became the foundation of my structural being.

So you see, once we nurture our foundation, we can build a structure that helps us stay strong, guides us and lifts us up through challenges and changes in our life, because let’s face it, life isn’t straightforward so we could all use a little help ❤️Jaya.

How you feel and your mental and

emotional state dictates your every

next step towards the life you want.

Consciously train your mind to look for

the silver lining in everything, because

eventually your internal happiness is

what will help you reach your

destination and your best you.

Happiness is an inside job. You can choose to be happy despite what’s going on around you or to you. Happiness and feeling happy is the greatest source of power to attract anything you want into your life because this dictates your every next step towards the life you want.

Even when we’re going through our darkest and saddest time, we can still find the fleeting moments of joy and gratitude. For example you might be grieving but are promoted at work, which brings you joy. You might have come out of a broken relationship but support from your friendships bring you joy.

One step further, if we are surrounded by grumpy people in our personal or professional circle, the best thing we can do is to rise above it without being influenced by their emotions. Once we can do that, we are another step further along in our personal development. However let’s always remember to show kindness and compassion to those around us because everyone is living their own story and journey.

So, it’s not about forcing ourselves to be happy all day. It’s about looking for the little moments and silver linings behind every situation that bring us joy, which eventually becomes how we think, feel and behave. The more we consciously train our minds to look for that silver lining in everything, life becomes easier, we reach our goals quicker, the struggles decrease and we feel inspired towards the next best step.

These moments of joy and gratitude won’t change our situation but they are pieces towards our pursuit to happiness and this is how our thinking shifts into positivity and optimism.

However, no one can do this but you. The work has to be done by you as it all happens through you ~ ❤️ Jayk

..overflowing with treats. You just need

to look for them because they're

everywhere!

Train your mind to look for the upside

in every situation. Instead of focusing

on what's wrong, focus on what's right.

Try it for 3 days and watch the magic

unfold as you ritualise this habit.

“Life is like a box of chocolates.” I know you’re thinking of Forrest Gump but how I interpret this is to always expect a delicious surprise and treat in life.

There’s a gift in everything as your life overflows with treats. Even during dark times, there’s something to be grateful for.

When my parents passed, this drove me towards a new mindset, healing practice and spirituality. I am grateful for that. When I was treated unfairly I developed a voice to self express. I am grateful for that. The list goes on.

The secret to gratitude is to look for it. Be open and the more you practice this the easier it becomes to notice.

How does gratitude help you? It trains your mind to look at the upside in every situation. Your mind stops focusing on problems and what’s wrong and instead on what’s right. You don’t need to be spiritual or religious to be grateful, after all, don’t you tell your colleagues, friends, family, kids and pets when you are grateful for something they did? So why not empower yourself with the same for what’s around you?

Go into 2022 looking at your experiences from 2021 and think of a blessing or silver lining behind each one. Perhaps being home you have had time to eat healthy and exercise. Maybe finances improved because you saved money going out. Yes there’s been a huge shift in our lifestyles but there are also things to be grateful for, what are they for you?

Just how leaders who show gratitude to teams develop a positive work culture, the same applies to you and your mindset. You will attract more treats into your life. You will discover your strengths and feel supported by life and not fight against it. Magic happens just from being grateful.

I believe gratitude is the foundation to happiness so I encourage you to look for 3 things every day to be grateful for and add them to your list. As you build your list, use your gratitudes as your go-to vocabulary when you experience an unserving situation. You will notice a shift in your experiences within 3 days of starting your daily gratitude practice. I did. ❤️ Jaya K

Instead of New Year' resolutions,

incorporate my 10 personal rituals into

your lifestyle.

These rituals develop a can do attitude,

change beliefs and perceptions, remove

stress, drive you towards goals and

empower clear decision making. Make

2022 a personally sustainable year.

I’m not against rituals but I’ve never followed them. I’ve also never set myself New Year’s resolutions. It was only when I started working on self improvement that rituals became a part of my daily lifestyle.

Decades ago I realised I needed to change my thinking to take control over my experiences and external circumstances and, operate as the best version of myself.

Below are 10 daily rituals that I continue to practice today:

1. Early morning exercise

2. Micro gratitudes

3. Watching thoughts/ using switch words to counter negativity and stress

4. Incorporating a can do attitude and positive vocabulary

5. Affirmations to remove limited beliefs

6. Micro meditation

7. Visualising goals using the Law of Attraction

8. Surrounding myself with like minded people only

9. Conscious acts/words of love/kindness towards others and myself

10. ME time

These are the only rituals I choose to live by and they changed my life because they brought me certainty and clarity. They changed how I approached situations and people, removed judgement, changed beliefs and perspectives, removed negativity and stress.

These rituals also helped me build clarity and better decision making. Through this clarity I knew what was right, what I needed/wanted and how to achieve it. I still have a long way to go but I fully recommend you to incorporate these rituals as a means of self empowerment in 2022 to strive to be the best version of yourself in everything you do. ❤️ JayK

Validate, love, accept, appreciate

and acknowledge yourself. You own

the power to change your life.

Start by removing limiting beliefs by

changing the words you say about

yourself..

Last week I wrote about

self talk and was asked to continue this topic because it’s only when we can ‘hear’ self talk, catch it and change it, can we recode our brain to think differently leading to better outcomes.

Remember my story growing up where I didn’t feel accepted by peers even though I grew up with loving parents in a close knit household? My experiences conditioned me to believe I was unworthy of being accepted or heard which led to negative self talk and lack of self faith.

Last week I shared how I tell myself I love, accept and approve of myself. This along with choosing the words I say about myself. It was only when I started this did my self thinking change. I mattered and was worthy of being heard, which resulted in viewing and experiencing life differently.

The only person who can validate, love, accept, appreciate and acknowledge you is YOU! You have full power to remove limiting beliefs to change your life, build confidence, motivation, positivity and productivity leading to better outcomes.

So what do we do? Catch ourselves in our thoughts. Mindfulness teaches us how to quieten our minds to hear those thoughts, catch them and change them. Now when I hear my brain default to “I can’t do that” or “I’m not important enough to voice that” I immediately switch to a positive thought such as “I’m capable of anything” or “my opinion matters.”

Changing your thinking is fully in your hands and the process to stick with it is also in your hands ❤️Jaya

Control Self Critical Talk!

We would never talk to our loved ones

critically yet we do it to ourselves. To

break this pattern and change your

mental state:

1. Consciously recognise self talk and

stop it

2. Switch the thought to anything

positive

3. Repeat!

“I do nothing right! “No one loves me!” “I’m useless.”

We all know this self talk, some worse than others. Unfortunately it stems from our experiences growing up where we were criticised by parents, bullied at school, mocked by friends, let go from jobs etc. All these experiences conditioned our thinking to believe we are not good enough. If only humans knew how much damage they do just by the words they use. It’s no wonder our minds are in constant battle.

But, we don’t need to define ourselves by these experiences. We can recondition our thinking patterns to create new beliefs that lead to very different outcomes for us, however you have to want to do the inner work.

This is where we introduce self compassion into our self talk.

Remember when you woke up, looked in the mirror and criticised yourself for your appearance, what you did or said? By noon you were in a bad mood because one negative thought led to a whole self conversation. Through self compassion, we can stop that initial critical thought in its tracks.

Instead tell yourself how amazing you are and that you’re actually perfectly ok, which you are! Would you tell your loved one they look horrible? Would you tell a child they’re useless and pathetic? Why are you any different? Take your power back!

Once you recognise this self talk and start to change it into self compassion, your world opens, confidence builds, you achieve your goals, your relationships improve and abundance flows.

When I started out, my cousin Manju Mohinani told me “Jaya, love, accept and approve of yourself exactly as you are.” This mantra changed my life ❤️

All patterns can be broken so try these foundational techniques.

1. List 3 positive sentences about yourself, tell them to yourself throughout the day.

2. Write a love letter to yourself!

3. Next time you criticise yourself, stop and state “it’s ok, “I love you.”

4. Hug yourself! Feels good.

Nothing happens overnight and the effort needs to come from you but you won’t look back once you begin. ❤️Jaya

We say life isn't going our way

because it's not happening the

way we think it should happen.

So, if we want life to go the way

we think it should, then is it fair to

say we should change the way we

think, for life to go the way we

want it to?

When life doesn’t go our way it’s because it’s not happening the way we think it should happen. Seems obvious right?

Before we go deeper, let’s look at the great visionaries. The late Steve Jobs, Michael Jordon, Walt Disney and the list goes on. What did they all have in common? Focus and clarity. They knew what they wanted and they were determined to achieve it.

If we want life to go the way we think it should then it only seems fair that we think about our life differently. This also means being clear and committed with what we want, not changing goal posts every day and doing everything we need to do in order to achieve that vision. It also means not listening or being influenced by comments, questions or doubt.

To put it into context, for every vision you had, you developed a plan. You researched, prepared, took steps to move forward, talked to people, followed guidance and committed to doing what you needed to do. You believed it was right for you and there wasn’t any question or doubt that it wouldn’t happen, it did and ‘life went your way’ leaving you happy and fulfilled.

But, I’m sure you would agree that the biggest reward above all is love, happiness and fulfilment which we gain from the sustainable solution of adjusting our mindset and incorporating micro mindful practices.

The micro mindful practices we talked about before remove the mess in our minds, emotions and body and give us the direct access to love, happiness and fulfilment, without the dependency on having to achieve a vision to feel good. However the secret sauce is that when we clear out that mental mess, our visions show up anyway, how great is that :) ❤️ JayK

..because it's impossible for negative

thoughts to creep in when you feel

grateful. Even better, feeling

grateful releases the same

hormones as when you feel loved!

Whilst you can't change your

situation, you can change your ay

perspective.

Think of 3 things you’re grateful for! On a macro level 3 things I’m grateful for are, job, family, friends. On a micro level I’m grateful for the morning coffee, hot water and my warm bed. The list goes on.

Science research proves that when we ‘feel’ grateful it is neurologically impossible for negative thoughts to enter our mind.

Further, feeling grateful releases ‘happy hormones’ including Dopamine, Serotonin and Oxytocin. These same hormones are released when we are in love, dancing, listening to music, out with friends and doing any activity that makes us happy.

So the question is, why don’t more of us consciously practice gratitude on a daily basis?

I believe part of the reason for this is because we look for external validation for ‘happy hormones‘ though work, money, social media, friendships, relationships and lifestyle. However the rewards we gain are short term and addictive.

This also means that if something doesn’t workout our way, it impacts our mental strength, focus and level of contentment.

We all know fulfilment comes from within, so if we can create these happy hormones within ourselves as a sustainable and permanent force, for me that is a more reliable solution. So, when I started practicing gratitude no matter what happened externally, I was able to ride the storm and get back up.

Why not start your gratitude list. Think of 3 things every day you are grateful for and keep adding to it. ❤️ JayK

Don't be a victim, Instead start producing the strongest most capable, emotionally intelligent version of yourself by rising above it all.

If you’re going through a dark period right now just know that any form of pain heals over time but also that pain is our greatest teacher. As I mentioned last week, I really do believe we go through experiences to help us grow and I say that from a self awareness angle. Therefore we have two options.

1. We can be a victim and let situations take over our lives or;

2 We can grow positively and transform into a position of strength

What helped me during dark times?

1. A brain dump. Get a pen and paper and write down how the situation makes you feel emotionally, physically and mentally. Writing releases emotions which frees up mental space for clarity and solutions.

2. Gratitude. Looking for small things to be grateful for induces happy hormones. Write down or mentally list 3 things every day that you feel good about.

3. Surround yourself with like minded people. You can find your best allies during your darkest times.

4. Create ME time for fun and exercise. Actually block your calendar to make an appointment with yourself so you commit to it.

5. Breathe. Start micro practices of breathing and self-reflecting. Micro practice is as effective. Periods of calm extends your life span.

These techniques are a lifestyle and not a one off event and you too can start the journey in producing the best, strongest, most capable, productive and emotionally intelligent version of yourself. ❤️ JayK

Everything that is happening to you is

preparing you for something amazing to

come. The resilience and momentum you

develop through your experiences is

what you need to keep going. There's

always something better, even if you

don't see it now.

“Everything I went through was to shape me for where I am now”, I said, and “I love who I am now.”

I believe everything that is happening to each of us is preparation for something amazing, to come. If you look back at your life, I’m sure you can see how those dots connect you to this moment. There must have been a lesson, experience or relationship, even in the worst moments, that shaped you today.

Retrospective thinking allows us to assess life’s takeaways, how we handle situations and what we can do to get through them. When we get ourselves into that mindset it gives us the resilience and momentum we need to keep going especially when things go rock bottom.

My growth areas were lacking confidence, self worth, speaking up to defend myself or saying no.

I knew I had to work on those areas but didn’t because on a subconscious level I didn’t value myself enough to do so. I let myself get ‘beat up’ and never pushed back. Eventually experiences pushed me so far that I was forced to and wow! I felt liberated!

What helped me? ‘Mindset reset’ practices taught me how to address situations from a ‘fly on the wall‘ perspective. These practices teach self awareness, inner strength, fear busting techniques and so much more, to handle and overcome challenges. Remember though, just like body strength training or nutrition, mental strengthening is a lifestyle commitment where benefits show up over time through your perseverance. ❤️ JayK

Don't wait for the low times to

build your inner strength to

protect you. Build it during your

high times, so that it's ready and

waiting to bring you out of every

challenging situation, quickly.

Yes life’s not fair! Why do we have to go through challenges? People say we grow, build resilience, confidence and inner strength through our lowest moments. They’re right! It took me many obstacles and challenges to discover my inner strength and reprogram my mindset.

Of course, I don’t believe we can just sugar coat our problems with positivity and they will go away. People have real challenges and go through traumatic situations so, simply ‘being positive’ will not change this nor will those challenges go away.

To deal with challenges, heal our limited beliefs and evolve, we need to reprogram our mindset, incrementally. I did this through deliberate thinking. I started off by paying attention to all the many thoughts that would pop into my head and replace as many as I could with positive grateful thoughts. For example if I thought that “I dislike my work” I changed it to “I am grateful for money flowing through every month;” or “this person is needy” was changed to “I am loved!”

Over time my thinking evolved and I had reprogrammed my mindset to be positive, action oriented and solution driven, which also became part of who I am today.

You see, we need to change ourselves in order to deal with life because this is when we develop the ability to deal with challenges, shed our past and come out stronger. This new mindset or inner strength gives us resilience & empowerment to operate as the best version of ourselves, that keeps us standing strong, and gets us through any situation. ❤️ JayK

Any type of change can be hard to accept and get through. Nurture your internal self as you would your outer physical self, to build a structure that stays strong through everything that could shake you up. Yes, accepting change is never easy - in fact, change is scary because it’s new, out of our comfort zone and we don’t know what to expect on the other side.

Our first reaction to change is to push it away and resist it. We say no, that we can’t change the way we think or do things because it doesn’t work and we know better - afterall, we’ve been operating in this way for a long time. Resisting change comes from fear of the unknown and it is this fear that holds us back. It may also be our lack of self-confidence, thinking we are not good enough to evolve through a new challenge.

In my case - it was only when I learnt to accept new situations, that I took this as an opportunity to re-evaluate my life, my mindset and my behaviour. These new situations opened the door to discovering my strengths, purpose and passions, resulting in my growth and self-confidence. The self-confidence taught me to accept myself, empowering me to overcome obstacles and navigate through situations I never thought I would previously have been able to handle.

Yes, change can be scary, but it is also important, to help us grow and discover who we are and what we are capable of.

Some techniques I use to help me navigate through change include meditation, gratitude, goal setting and incorporating a can-do attitude. This has became the foundation of my structural being.

So you see, once we nurture our foundation, we can build a structure that helps us stay strong, guides us and lifts us up through challenges and changes in our life, because let’s face it, life isn’t straightforward so we could all use a little help ❤️Jaya.