Social Anxiety

What is social anxiety? Well, it’s a very serious mental health disorder that is a bit more than just shyness. Social anxiety affects about 15 million adults alone in the United States. As the name suggests, a person with social anxiety feels symptoms of great fear and anxiety in certain or all social situations, for example: meeting new people, dating, being in a job interview, or having to raise your hand in class. Doing everyday things in front of people—such as eating and drinking in front of others and answering the phone in public also causes fear. In most instances, a person will be afraid of humiliating themselves, will feel like they are being judged and/or rejected. Of course, the severity of social anxiety varies from person to person and in most cases can become so strong that it can feel as though it is out of their control. This can very much get in the way of going to work, attending school, and doing everyday things. Most people with social anxiety will avoid or dread upcoming events that have many people and will start to worry weeks ahead of time out of fear of rejection. I myself, have social anxiety and will explain in detail how to support someone who has social anxiety. 

When it comes  to what causes social anxiety or how people get it, the answer is very complex because everybody is different. According to helpguide.org, some common triggers for social anxiety are eating, drinking in public, answering the phone, and  using public restrooms. However, genetics and environment mostly are the top causes that people start to develop from childhood or at any time in their life. (Smith. Et. al..2020) Trauma and how you were raised is a big indicator of whether or not you can get social anxiety. As someone currently dealing with social anxiety, bullying was also rampant throughout my education and made my insecurity worse.

Social anxiety is a very severe mental illness and can become very debilitating. Irritability is a common symptom of social anxiety which may immediately come off as rude. Sometimes people just struggle showing their emotion, and we must also consider what their current circumstances or situations could be. Since dealing with social anxiety can become overwhelming, it’s not unusual for people to have low-self esteem and become self-conscious about many things whether it’s physical appearance or getting along with people. If we as people in a society are not careful this could, unfortunately, lead to suicide  which has become common with people who suffer from depression and social anxiety. (Gallagher et.al...2017)  There are some people who can’t properly handle the intense emotions and anxieties. Your mental health practitioner may recommend drawing, running, doing exercise, or just listening to music, to help you get out of your head and cope with emotions. I do think people with social anxiety/depression want to be understood even if they can’t properly show that to people. 

How can we support or help people with social anxiety? Feeling anxious in social situations is common for all of us, but for some people, it can be much worse. It’s possible you might know someone such as a friend or loved one suffering from social anxiety, however some people hide their symptoms so noticing that they are anxious is a good time to help. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most effective treatment for social anxiety. (Clyman 2017) The most basic step: Be patient, As we know, social anxiety can be the result of traumatic experiences, or physiological factors or possibly both. Don’t criticize, blame, or minimize feelings. It’s very important to listen and be supportive so that your friend may possibly open themselves up to you. It’s also important to know what they’re thinking and asking them what is worrying them will help. Getting as much detail as possible lets them know you are listening and that you are there.  

Being sympathetic and understanding makes a huge difference because it reminds people like myself that we aren’t alone in our mental health struggles. Loving each other and encouraging one another makes us feel like we are being supported and we have resources that are reachable to us. Some people will find it difficult to ask for help because they are worried about being judged or being perceived as weak. There aren’t many healthcare resources available to people with mental health issues. (Conroy, et. al..2020). This is why it’s crucial to help support someone you may know with social anxiety. As I mentioned before, I suffer from social anxiety and getting extra support reminds me that people understand my struggles. I hope I’ve been successful in helping you understand what social anxiety is and showing how to support someone with social anxiety. If you know someone dealing with social anxiety and/or depression feel free to access the resources below.

                         Works cited

National Institute of Mental Health, (n.d) Social Anxiety Disorder: More than just Shyness, National Institute of Mental Health  https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/social-anxiety-disorder-more-than-just- shyness/index.shtml

Anxiety & Depression Association of America, (02/05/21) Social Anxiety Disorder ADAA https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder 

Smith, Melinda; Segal, Jeanne; Shubin, Jennifer; (09/2020) Social Anxiety Disorder HelpGuide https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder.htm 

Vi Hilbert

Vi Hilbert was born July 24th 1918 Lyman, Washington and died December 19th 2008, daughter of Charlie and Lousie Anderson and was the only one of their eight children to live past 3. Her father was a fisherman, a logger and a canoe maker, one of his more well known canoe’s the “Question Mark'' now rests in the Smithsonian Museum Archive.

Her family moved around in search of work causing her to attend 15 different schools, the most formative being a boarding school in Tulalip, attending highschool in Chemawa Indian boarding school near Salem, Oregon and from there transferred to Franklin highschool in Portland, Oregon to get the best education she could find while trying to support her home life.

Vi Hilbert had married three times throughout her life, her first was to Percy Wood Cock in 1936, together they had two children, Denny born in 1937 and Lois in 1938. The four stayed together in Taholah, Washington until Denny later passed of meningitis in 1940 causing an end to their marriage and Hilbert to return home to live with her parents in Nooksack.

Her second marriage was to Bob Coy in 1942 and together they had another son, Ron who was born in 1943, they lived near Marysville, Washington and it’s hard to say how long they stayed together.

Her last marriage was to Henry Donald Hilbert in 1945 who served in WW2 and survived the attack on pearl harbor while aboard the USS West Virginia. He took her previous children on as his own and they built a house together in south Seattle until 2003, when they moved to Bow, Washington before Henry passed.

As an adult she was a Native American tribal elder to the Upper Skagit tribe, which trailed along the banks of the Skagit River in Washington State, in her older years she was a conservationist of the Lushootseed language and culture which she taught at the University of Washington for 17 years. (1971-1988) She transcribed and translated a lot of Lushootseed recordings from the 1950s which are still in the Universities audio library today.

During 1989 women and minorities were brought into light with things like the abortion march and other rallys such as the sexual assult of women in the work place and equal pay, all made to help fight for womens equality regardless of race which was set in motion a few months after the goverment agreed to pay $14 million in backpay to women and minorities. The late 1980’s was a time where women and POC were louder than ever before to fight for their rights. Among these women was Vi Hilbert who was dubbed a Washington State living treasure and received National Heritage Fellowship from the national Endowment for the arts presented by Bill Clinton. Women like her were being recognized for their work and this time was often dubbed The Era of Leadership.

  She co-wrote some Lushootseed grammars and dictionaries primarily with Tom Hess, as well as publishing books about native stories and teachings around 1994. Vi Hilberts life came to an end not long after, passing on the morning of December 19th 2008 surrounded by family. Despite being one of the many quiet voices of our women she will be forever remembered in the hearts of her students and by the memory of her that lives on in the halls of WSU.

Vi Hilbert, like many other women, had a rough start on her path to greatness but just enough steps had been made to help her and other young women of her generation get the rights they deserved, being born not long after Nena Jolidon who was elected on the Progressive ticket introduced the first House bill of the 1913 session, seeking a minimum wage for female workers. The other woman in office that year, Frances Axtell focused her efforts on public safety. A decade later another woman won election to the state Senate which was Reba Hurn, the first woman to join the Washington State bar, quietly working on the reform of lawmaking and the penal system in the state. 

These were some of the first movements made to begin a change in women's rights and education and how they were perceived by their male peers, proving that they were equally competent and ready for things to be different.

Women in this generation had to lean on the skills and experiences learned from an education system termed as “The Women’s Sphere,” A system filled with backwards expectations of a woman's place in the world, even fewer women of color were given this opportunity to receive any education at all. Despite this there were still many women that took their education and used it to make change, allowing women like Vi Hilbert gain the knowledge and rights she deserved.

The 1920’s was a time where women had few rights and POC were still being treated like lesser beings for the color of their skin and difference in culture, despite the odds being against them there were women that pushed against the norm and gave us many inspirational names to look up to like Vi Hilbert.

The more research I did the more I wanted this essay to read like a love letter, not just to Vi Hilbert but to women throughout history that have become just a name floating around the internet because of their place in the world, very few women get their stories told and even fewer were women of color, I hope this essay is a small start to looking into these forgotten names of our female warriors that fought for women's rights.

There are many responsibilities and pressures of being a teenager. It can be stressful when you are at the age to begin preparing to be on the road and operating a vehicle... You’d think that's stressful enough, but let's add a pandemic and a major stomach ache!  Covid-19 has been going on for months, but can life pause? No, we must still go about our lives in a safe manner. That’s just what I did, passed the written test and received a driver's permit. 

            Being a teen with a chronic illness, it's difficult sometimes trying to explain to people why you were late or unable to make it. This was my biggest concern when going to get the permit, even being diagnosed a year and a half with Ulcerative Colitis, I still struggle with telling someone, especially strangers. I was worried when I was sitting down taking the test because I felt like if I had to run to a restroom, I'd be unable to do so. With Covid, it can be fearful even leaving the house, as I get afraid that if I catch it that my treatments can be put on hold, but being a teenager I wanted to do what's considered “normal” for teens to do - get a permit.  This is especially a fearful time for people who are more susceptible, and it can be hard being a teenager with all these “normal” activities and pressures you might put on yourself.

               I had been putting off getting a permit for about a year, I was stressed. What if I failed? What if my IBS/Ulcerative Colitis interfered? Little did I know by delaying, more stress factors would come into play (Covid-19).  I always have had test anxiety growing up, and after being diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis and IBS, my anxiety got more apparent. The slightest stress would cause a major stomach ache, and sometimes I barely could move with that much pain. I couldn't always get to places or if I did I was usually late.  I was really concerned this would be the case when I scheduled a time to go in and take the written test. 

           I thought I was prepared when the day came, I had taken several practice tests on the official Washington DMV site that had me quite confident that I would pass.  The day before, I made sure to avoid trigger foods and keep a low stress environment. I felt very comfortable with the idea of taking the test that morning.  I had the wrong worries, however. My stomach did not cause a problem. Instead I did not pass the written test.  When I talked with the lady at the front desk, she had told me that these practice tests don't usually coordinate with the written test, and that some teens would mostly focus on those tests like I did and then not pass. I rescheduled the following week, this time I would be prepared! 

               I read and highlighted any information I thought I missed or had seen on the test in the Washington Drivers Guide book.  This time I was nervous. I woke up with a pain in my abdomen. I knew it was my IBS.  I quickly got ready in case any issues would cause me to be late and found the  guide and went over all the lines I previously highlighted and quizzed myself the whole morning. I put a cold water bottle on my stomach and took my pain medication and was on my way to retake the test.  This time I was a bundle of nerves and was barely keeping my stomach together. I was so afraid of not passing again that when I sat down to take the test I was in so much pain, I thought for sure I had forgotten everything! 

              With the pandemic going on, masks were required to be worn, the front office was small so it was difficult to keep six feet apart. The pens were sorted to clean and used, the back room was the size of a classroom and the desks and chairs were distanced out. There were about ten people in the room at most. The instructor came to each of us individually to give instructions, which confused me a bit since that definitely broke the social distancing. While taking the test, I felt panic rush over me.  I hadn't thought about what would happen if I did pass this time. The thought of still not passing terrified me, both outcomes seemed impossible. I felt butterflies in my stomach but not the good kind. When I completed all my questions I signaled the test administer, he took my test and went to his desk to grade it. It felt almost unbearable watching him grade my test. I felt my breathing getting heavier which was difficult with the mask. I practiced my grounding techniques, till I was signaled to his desk for the results. He told me that I received an eighty five percent. I passed! I was very relieved that highlighting this time had been very helpful to me.

           One thing I learned from this experience is, it's okay to do things at your own pace, there's already been a lot of pressure put on myself with getting better/treatments and now a lockdown and fear of losing all this progress I have made. I don't have to fit into this “normal’ because life isn't always gonna be perfect and why put more pressure on myself when i've already had more than enough for someone  my age.