As a freelance photographer, I rarely get the chance to be in front of the camera since I am always behind the camera and loves capturing other people. So when I read this assignment, I was excited to produce this kind of photo. It felt like it is very opportunity and a reminder to try capturing myself and turn the lens toward myself while explore how I want to be seen.

What I’m excited to do also was be able to use my lights again. In fact, it’s been a while since I’ve played around with my lights. That's why I decided to create a look and use my lights again. At first, I thought two of my lights would be enough, but once I started setting up, I realized I needed more than that. I wanted a dramatic and cinematic feel until I achieved the photos that I saw online.

I went to Pinterest for visual inspiration, and as I scrolled through portraits with interesting lighting styles, I got more and more excited. It reminded me of why I fell in love with portrait photography in the first place. Still, there was a part of me that felt nervous—could I pull this off by myself? Could I really recreate that level of emotion and quality when I wasn’t the one behind the viewfinder?

During the production process was honestly a challenge. Capturing a self-portrait is really different because you need to do everything by yourself. From adjusting the lighting alone to figuring out how to get my camera to focus properly, it took much longer than I expected. I used a tripod and set my camera timer, but the autofocus still gave me trouble. I had to keep checking the shots and readjusting.

What frustrated me most was how the light didn’t always fall the way I envisioned. I need to move the light, do a test shot, then go back and  do it over and over again. I went through several rounds of trial and error just to get the mood right. There were moments I felt discouraged, especially when the results didn’t match what I had in mind. But the perfectionist in me kept pushing through. I had already done so much during the preparation fixed my look, even got a haircut for this shoot, and started vlogging the process too. I knew I had to see it through.

Despite all the setbacks, there was something fulfilling about doing everything myself—from conceptualizing, setting up, shooting, and adjusting lights to directing my own expressions. It made me appreciate the craft even more.

When I finally saw the RAW files onto my laptop, I was relieved to see that most of them were usable. I was honestly expecting the worst, maybe because of the motion blur or missed focus but surprisingly, some shots turned out better than I expected.

I used Lightroom for color grading and to bring out the mood I envisioned during pre-production. I kept the post-processing minimal and focused more on enhancing what I already captured in-camera. Seeing the final images slowly come to life made all the struggles worth it. I felt proud—not just because the photos looked good, but because I pushed through the difficulty and still managed to express myself creatively.

IV. Reflection

This assignment reminded me how challenging to do a self-portraiture can be considering that it is not just as a technical exercise, but as a form of practice. It pushed me out of my comfort zone and made me confront how I see myself through the lens. It also made me realize how much I’ve missed doing personal, creative work outside of client shoots.

It wasn’t perfect, and I definitely had moments of doubt and frustration. But I’m walking away from this experience with a deeper respect for solo creatives who do self-portraits regularly—and a renewed appreciation for the craft itself.

In the end, I’m proud of what I produced. Not just because of the result, but because of the process. I am grateful because I learned a lot not just about lighting, composition, and camera settings, but it is about patience, creativity, and believing in myself.

EQUIPMENTS