May 28th, 2025.
Topic: Admission Essay
Lecture:
Elvin Josue Galvez Pocasangre
Expo Summary
What is an Admission essay?
An admission essay is a written document that applicants submit as part of their application to an educational institution, such as a university, graduate program, or professional school. Its main purpose is to give the admissions committee insight into the applicant’s personality, values, experiences, and goals, and to demonstrate why the applicant would be a good fit for the institution.
Main Features:
Personal and Reflective: Admission essays allow applicants to showcase their individuality, character, and personal growth.
Goal-Oriented: They often require a clear expression of educational and career goals.
Creative Style: Unlike more formal academic essays, admission essays encourage a more personal and creative writing style.
Fit for Institution: The essay should explain why the applicant is a good match for the specific institution.
Flexible Topics: Sometimes, applicants can choose their topics or respond to prompts provided by the institution.
Structure:
Introduction
Presents the topic.
Contains a thesis statement that outlines the main idea or theme.
Body
Consists of several paragraphs.
Provides evidence, examples, and analysis to support the thesis.
Deepens and extends the initial ideas presented in the introduction.
Conclusion
Recaps the thesis and main points.
Offers a final reflection or thought, tying the essay together.
Tips for Writing:
Show Growth and Self-Awareness: Highlight personal development and what you’ve learned from your experiences.
Be Authentic: Use your voice and be honest about your experiences and aspirations.
Stay Focused: Stick to the prompt or topic and avoid unnecessary tangents.
Be Specific: Use concrete examples and anecdotes to illustrate your points.
Edit Carefully: Proofread for grammar, spelling, and clarity.
Similarities and Differences with Other Essays:
Similarities:
All essays require clear structure and coherent writing.
Each type aims to engage the reader and communicate ideas effectively.
Differences:
Admission essays are more personal and less formal.
Argumentative essays rely on research and logical arguments.
Narrative essays focus on storytelling and chronology.
Video Summary
Key Points Covered:
The college essay is your chance to show who you are beyond grades and test scores.
You can write about almost anything, as long as it’s meaningful to you and fits within the word limit.
The focus should be on sharing a story or trait that is uniquely yours.
Authenticity and personal voice are essential.
Structure of the Exploratory Essay:
Introduction:
Set the stage for your story or theme.
Engage the reader right away.
Body:
Develop your story or main idea.
Use personal experiences, reflections, and details to illustrate your points.
The structure is more flexible than a traditional academic essay; you don’t need to follow the five-paragraph format.
Conclusion:
Tie your story together.
Reflect on what you’ve learned or how you’ve grown.
Leave the reader with a strong impression.
Writing Tips:
Choose a topic that excites you: If you’re happy and proud to write about it, it’s likely a good choice.
Break free from rigid structures: Use brainstorming tools like word webs or freewriting to generate ideas.
Write multiple drafts: Don’t expect your first draft to be perfect. Good essays often come from revising and rewriting.
Be authentic: Use your voice and tell your story in a way only you can.
Get feedback: Ask trusted people (teachers, friends, family) to review your essay, but make sure the final work is truly yours.
Common Mistakes to Avoid:
Trying to imitate others: Don’t force your essay to sound like the “perfect” examples you see online.
Losing your voice: Avoid letting too much outside feedback dilute your personality.
Ignoring the word limit: Stay within the required length.
Submitting your first draft: Always revise and polish before submitting.
Letting someone else write your essay: The admissions committee wants to hear from you, not someone else.
Final Thoughts:
The essay is an opportunity for honest self-reflection and to present your authentic self to the admissions committee.
The process is iterative—don’t be afraid to rewrite or start over.
Ultimately, your essay should make you proud and give the reader a clear sense of who you are.
Essay Practice
"Building Bridges: Why I Want to Study International Politics"
Felipe Andres Aguilar Castellanos
Adriana Beatriz Lima Ayala
Fatima Isabel Rivas Marin
English 3
Julio A. Ramirez
May 29, 2025
Have you ever wondered how one country's decision can affect millions of lives across the world? This question made me reflect on the power of international politics and how decisions at the highest level can create real change. It sparked my curiosity to learn more about global relations and how countries interact through diplomacy. Understanding these processes has become a personal goal of mine. I believe that knowledge in this area is key to solving complex global problems. That is why I am determined to study International Politics. My passion for this field has led me to apply to Florida International University, where I know I can grow and make a difference.
My involvement in activities related to diplomacy has shown me the importance of international cooperation. I participated in several Model United Nations conferences, where I represented different countries and debated world issues with other students. These events helped me develop research, public speaking, and negotiation skills. More importantly, they taught me how difficult it is to reach agreements in the real world. I also volunteered with an NGO that supports refugees, which gave me direct contact with the consequences of failed political systems. Listening to people’s stories made me realize how essential strong global leadership is. These experiences made my interest in international politics even stronger.
Key sources of inspiration have deepened my interest in international politics and shaped my academic goals. One of the most influential books I have read is The Post-American World by Fareed Zakaria. It opened my eyes to the way global power is shifting and how the world is becoming more multipolar. I also started following global events more closely, especially the Russia-Ukraine conflict. This ongoing war showed me how crucial diplomacy and international cooperation are. Learning about these topics helped me understand not just what is happening, but why it happens. These experiences gave me a clear academic direction and a desire to be part of future solutions.
Florida International University is the ideal place for me to grow academically and personally in this field. The university offers a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations, which includes courses in global governance and foreign policy analysis. These subjects match exactly what I want to study and will help me develop essential knowledge. I am also interested in FIU’s strong international focus and its multicultural environment. The university’s mission to promote global understanding and leadership aligns with my own goals. I hope to take part in internships and research that will prepare me for a career in international affairs. FIU offers the right tools and environment to help me succeed.
A degree in International Politics will allow me to become a global thinker ready to make a positive impact. I want to use my knowledge to help solve international problems and promote peace and cooperation. Studying at FIU will give me the education and experience I need to follow this path. I am excited to meet people from different backgrounds and share ideas that can change the world. I believe I can contribute to the FIU community with my passion, energy, and global mindset. This degree is not just a goal—it is the beginning of a lifelong journey. I am ready to take this important step toward becoming a future diplomat and leader.
Bibliography
Florida International University. "International Relations Degrees." Department of Politics & International Relations. May 29, 2025. https://pir.fiu.edu/undergraduate/international-relations-degrees/.
Zakaria, Fareed. The Post-American World. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2008.
BBC News. "Russia-Ukraine War: What's Happening on the Front Line?". BBC News. May 14, 2024. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-60506682.
Extra Information
Importance:
Admission essays are a critical part of the application process for colleges and universities. They offer applicants a unique opportunity to present themselves beyond grades and test scores. Through the essay, admissions committees gain insight into the applicant’s personality, motivations, values, and potential fit for the institution. According to The Princeton Review and College Board, a strong admission essay can set you apart from other candidates with similar academic achievements, making it a decisive factor in competitive admissions.
Common Topics:
Admission essays often revolve around themes that allow the applicant to demonstrate self-awareness, growth, and individuality. Some common topics include:
Personal challenges or obstacles and how you overcame them
A significant achievement or experience that shaped you
Your goals and aspirations for the future
Why do you want to attend this particular institution
A person or event that influenced your life
How will you contribute to the campus community
Key Components
A strong admission essay typically includes:
Introduction: Engages the reader and introduces the main theme or thesis.
Thesis Statement: Clearly states the main idea or purpose of the essay.
Body Paragraphs: Provide supporting evidence, anecdotes, and analysis that reinforce the thesis.
Personal Reflection: Shows growth, self-awareness, and insight.
Conclusion: Recaps the main points, ties the story together, and leaves a lasting impression.
Types of Claims in Essays:
While admission essays are usually personal and reflective, they may still incorporate different types of claims, such as:
Factual Claims: Stating verifiable facts about your experiences or achievements.
Value Claims: Expressing what you believe is important or meaningful.
Policy Claims: Suggesting what you intend to do or how you plan to contribute in the future.
Cause-and-Effect Claims: Explaining how certain experiences led to personal growth or change.
Effective Techniques:
To write a compelling admission essay, consider these techniques:
Brainstorming: List meaningful experiences, challenges, and achievements.
Freewriting: Write without worrying about structure to discover your authentic voice.
Outlining: Organize your thoughts before drafting.
Seeking Feedback: Ask teachers, mentors, or peers to review your essay.
Revising: Edit multiple times for clarity, coherence, and impact.
Reflecting: Focus on what you learned and how you’ve grown.
Common Mistakes to Avoid:
Being too generic or cliché: Avoid overused topics and vague statements.
Failing to answer the prompt: Always address the specific question or topic.
Lack of focus: Stick to one main theme or story.
Overly formal or impersonal tone: Use your authentic voice.
Neglecting proofreading: Spelling and grammar errors can undermine your message.
Exaggerating or being dishonest: Authenticity is valued over perfection.
Glossary
Admission Essay: A written document submitted as part of an application to an educational institution, showcasing the applicant’s personality, experiences, and goals.
Applicant: A person who applies to an educational institution or program.
Prompt: A specific question or topic provided by an institution that applicants must address in their essay.
Thesis Statement: A concise summary of the main point or claim of the essay, usually found at the end of the introduction.
Body Paragraphs: The main sections of an essay where the writer develops ideas, provides evidence, and supports the thesis.
Evidence: Examples, facts, or anecdotes used to support claims or illustrate points in the essay.
Analysis: The explanation of how the evidence supports the thesis or main idea.
Conclusion: The final paragraph that summarizes the main points, restates the thesis, and offers a final reflection.
Personal Reflection: A section of the essay where the writer discusses their thoughts, feelings, or growth related to the topic.
Anecdote: A short, personal story used to illustrate a point or engage the reader.
Self-Awareness: The ability to reflect on one’s own character, feelings, motives, and desires—often demonstrated in admission essays.
Creative Writing Style: A writing approach that emphasizes originality, expressiveness, and personal voice, as opposed to strictly formal or academic writing.
Fit for Institution: The alignment between an applicant’s values, goals, and experiences and what the institution is looking for in students.
Brainstorming: A technique for generating ideas and topics before writing the essay.
Revision: The process of reviewing and improving the essay’s content, structure, and clarity.
Proofreading: Carefully checking the essay for grammar, spelling, and punctuation errors before submission.
Cliché: An overused idea or expression that lacks originality and should be avoided in essays.
Narrative Essay: An essay type that tells a story, often using personal anecdotes and a chronological structure.
Argumentative Essay: An essay type focused on convincing the reader of a particular point of view using evidence and logical reasoning.
Sources
College Board. (n.d.). College application essays: What you need to know. BigFuture. https://bigfuture.collegeboard.org/plan-for-college/applying-to-college/college-application-essays
College Essay Guy. (n.d.). College essay resources. https://www.collegeessayguy.com/
Common App. (2023). 2023-2024 Common App essay prompts. https://www.commonapp.org/blog/2023-2024-common-app-essay-prompts
Harvard College. (n.d.). Writing college essays. Harvard College Admissions. https://college.harvard.edu/admissions/apply/application-tips/writing-college-essay
Purdue Online Writing Lab. (n.d.). Types of claims. https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/general_writing/academic_writing/establishing_arguments/types_of_claims.html
The Princeton Review. (n.d.). College application essay tips. https://www.princetonreview.com/college-advice/college-application-essay-tips
U.S. News & World Report. (n.d.). Common college essay mistakes to avoid. https://www.usnews.com/education/best-colleges/articles/common-college-essay-mistakes-to-avoid