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As we further progressed our promotion and initiative to promote mental health awareness in our society, all six of us decided to get Be There certified to help us understand our chosen topic to a higher extent and to be more educated about our entire project. This course taught us 5 separate “Golden Rules” to follow when having to recognize when someone might be struggling with their mental health, our role as supporters in helping that person, and how to connect them with the help they deserve.
Be There provides additional inspirational videos and stories of real people who used the tactics shared by the certification, which helps us visualize the rules in action.
Golden Rule #1:
The first golden rule the certification showed us was that it was important to say what you see. We learned that even though everyone has better and worse periods, you should reach out when you notice an unusual difference. We also learned that you should keep the conversation going based on how it was started and to approach the topic lightly while not assuming anything. This shows compassion and that you want what’s best for the person in need.
What can I say?
Whatever you say, keep it simple, and only state the facts.
Restate what they say and speak out about what you see.
Try not to underplay the situation.
When do I say something?
When you notice abnormal behavior
Everyone is different, so even if you seem hesitant, be sure to check in if you are worried.
When they reach out to you personally.
Golden Rule #2:
The second golden rule taught is to show that you care. Be There encourages creating a safer environment by being inclusive, compassionate, helpful, and a good listener in your daily interactions signals to others that you care about people and you’re a safe person to reach out to. We learned that just listening and saying you care is good, but could be improved on by showing you care through your tone of voice, body language, and actions. However, while doing this, you have to be careful of what you say because everybody is different.
What can I do?
Letting them know that you are there for them is always a good way to begin.
Being 100% present is very important, so minimizing distractions and paying attention is key.
Try not to rush or understate their issues, and do not compare your experiences to theirs.
Golden Rule #3:
The third golden rule taught is to hear out the person who needs help. We learned that listening to the person includes more than hearing them out, prioritizing listening and asking questions over sharing your own experience, being patient, making sure distractions are away, and using appropriate body language are also very important. Be There offered a quiz to determine what type of listener we are, and it helped us by showing us what we were good at, and what we could improve on.
What can I do?
Be sure to listen, ask engaging questions, and share your own experiences.
However, do not make it all about you, just briefly share. It can build trust but do it carefully.
Golden Rule #4:
The fourth golden rule taught us to know our role in helping others. We learned not to be a counselor, psychiatrist, or teacher, and just to be a friend. Some important factors include not judging, not coming off as dismissive, and not downplaying the situation. There are a few different types of boundaries you can set, and a bunch of different ways to set them. Setting clear boundaries will help you maintain a healthy relationship while still being supportive. You have to put yourself first and always remember your role, your capacity, and your safety when helping others, and when setting boundaries you should be open to change and revise boundaries as your circumstances and capacity change.
How can I offer the person a safe space?
Offer a non-judgmental environment.
Encourage professional help if their issues go past your knowledge.
Respect their boundaries and what makes them comfortable.
Maintain honest communication to understand how they are feeling.
Golden Rule #5:
The fifth golden rule taught is to connect a person to help. If you see someone is struggling to cope, you should suggest they reach out to community support or professional help. Searching online for resources and different helplines is a great way to find something that works. Making an appointment with your school guidance counselor, family doctor, a trusted adult family member, friend, or elder are all great people to talk with if you or someone else has problems. As always, if it’s a crisis, call a crisis line, 9-1-1, or emergency services and stay with them until help arrives. If it’s not a crisis, tell them why you’re concerned and ask questions to explore the barriers to seeking help. The certification also taught us that with enough brainstorming and thinking, there is always a solution to an issue in getting mental health help.
When should I suggest help?
If abnormal signs begin to become more serious.
If they have thoughts or discuss harming themselves or someone else.
How should I follow up?
Checking in every once in a while to make sure you show that you are respecting their choices.
Asking them how their professional help is going, and checking if their health has improved.
Being There for Yourself:
Although it’s not one of the 5 rules in the certification, the certification also provides information on how to take care of and for yourself. Before helping anyone else, you have to make sure that you are alright, as your mental health is just as important as everyone else's. Be There wanted to make sure that after teaching us how to help everyone else, we should help ourselves. The three steps we learn in this certification are checking in with yourself, showing yourself some love, and reaching out for your own help.
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