“Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” —Nelson Mandela

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I am a first-generation college student from immigrant parents who are unable to financially support my education. They are also limited in their English language skills and therefore I often assist them with everyday tasks. My parents also partly rely on my financial help. Education has continually been my priority but is a financial burden at times.

My initial plan was to enroll at a university after attending San Ysidro High School, but I declined various acceptance letters because I could not afford it and I chose to stay close to home to help my parents. I enrolled at Southwestern Community College (SWC) and worked part-time. At one point, a much-needed opportunity for full-time employment arose so I ended up leaving SWC, but nevertheless school continued to call me.

In 2015, I decided to pursue a short-term Veterinary Assistant certificate program at Pima Medical Institute because it would allow me to get back into the workforce quickly upon completion. I graduated and began working. I was the only Latinx working at this particular animal hospital and I was shocked and hurt when my former manager made numerous racist remarks toward me. Also, I was not making ends meet—and I was drained from the discriminatory treatment.

Thankfully, I found a higher-paying job at an office. I was utterly disappointed when I learned that my boss (the owner of the company) was sexist. The other female workers and I were consistently sexually harassed. It was at this time I reached a breaking point in my life. What are you doing here? What are you doing with your life? I thought. I needed to return to school, finish what I started, and pursue the dreams I’d had since I was a young girl. When I handed my former boss a two-week notice, he angrily said, “You’re too old now, sweetheart. Trust me, once you fail, you’ll come running back to me and there’ll be another girl sitting at your desk. You’ll be sorry.” His cruel words only added to my growing resilience. I knew what I had to do.

One clear thought inundated my mind now: I can do this.

I re-enrolled at SWC in 2019 to get back on track with my initial goal. I graduated in May 2020 with a 3.79 GPA and an Associate Degree in English for Transfer. My plan is to obtain a bachelor’s degree in English, with an intensive track in Spanish Language, and move directly into the Master of Education Degree/Single-Subject Credential Program at UCSD. I intend to teach high school English classes and be a mentor as well. I aspire to passionately support minority students, at-risk youth, and young adolescent females. I plan to work in an impoverished school district alongside students who may have been “written off” by society. Eventually, I will work my way up to principal and, ultimately, become superintendent of a school district in a low-income community.

During this anxiety filled pandemic, throughout this confinement to my desk and my virtual classes, during these unprecedented times, I have fallen in love with poetry. My writing has helped me overcome the many challenges I confronted last year. My poem embodies my real-life experiences, my memories, my vision of the future, as they are all attached to my words. I want readers to know me, to feel every inch of struggle, insecurity, strength, and determination as I reveal it. I know now that I deserve to be here—that I belong.

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Throughout my life, I’ve been forced to sink or swim many times.

To tell you the truth, I’ve never been good at sinking.