Academics. It has been wholly integrated into my daily routine. It dictates the schedule of my week and forces me to prioritize. It's on my mind 24/7 and I see it evidently in my journal. In almost every single entry, I don't fail to mention how much homework I have, how much studying I anticipate doing, or how a certain class is stressing me out that day. My MBTI ends with a J; People who are J's are list-makers and planners. They live by a structured schedule and space their work out. Ironically, I feel confined by my oh-so-perfect work ethic. I berate myself for not completing everything on my to-do list and take extensive measures to do so, whether it's sleeping at 4 am or refusing to hang out with my friends. 

Validation. I subconsciously crave validation and I don't doubt that my peers and everyone else around me desire it. Moreover, validation has always been coupled with family for me. As the oldest sister in my family, I held myself to the responsibility of lessening my dependence on my parents, being the role model for my younger brother, and being the breadwinner. I wrote down my concerns about fulfilling these duties I've enforced upon myself and my worries about how I'm going to be perceived by my family and my relatives. When Dr. Castillo brought up that we shouldn't feel a sense of obligation to make our parents proud with achievements, I was able to come to the revelation that my parents are proud of whatever I choose to do in life. It's not about the bragging rights they get with what college I got into or what competition I won. They would want to see me as the person I strive to be and most importantly, be happy in life. 

Career Goals. I've always known I wanted to be in the dental field and I've been devoting much of my extracurriculars to my pre-dental track. In my journal, I mention the hardships of pre-health and the extra classes I need to take for prerequisites. In hindsight, my writing reflected largely on the overwhelming workload of being pre-dental while asking myself, "Will it be worth it in the end?"

Love Life. Boy oh boy trouble... Romantic love and relationships aren't something I've ventured deep into but I've had my fair share of little crushes and confessions this quarter. I would not get into the specifics but I hold high standards for the people I meet. I've always wanted to be in a relationship but most of the time, my expectations override any bit of my feelings for them. Sometimes I wonder if I should've just gone for it.