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Below are our Year 6 Writing competition winning entries that have been illustrated by our Year 5 illustrators.
Illustrated by James Lo
Year 5, Highly Commended, Liddell
Clouds
By Oliver Ingram
1st Place, Lewis
You know about bullying and discrimination, right? And of course, you know that there are many victims subject to it. A person named David knows how it feels. And it’s terrible. He felt as if dark clouds had fallen upon him. And he was scared.
Chapter One: The morning
David lay in his bed, not bothering to hit snooze on the buzzing alarm clock. He had been there for three minutes, staring at it but not doing anything. He watched it turn from 6:03 to 6:04. It started raining outside. David couldn’t bear it. The hurt, the bullying - it felt like too much. The rain grew heavier as dark clouds expanded. He finally stopped the alarm clock, and lightning struck outside.
David went out of his messy room, which he might not have left for hours, and if it had been up to him, it would have been longer. He read the note his mother had left him before eating a banana, packing his bag, and taking off for school.
He walked in the rain, not bothering to bring an umbrella. David received looks and glances from other people walking past, but he was used to it by then. Being judged. Being hurt. Being excluded. Being clouded away from society. He stared up at the school gate and stood there for a few seconds. This day felt like his personal execution. He finally entered.
Chapter Two: School
David pulled his hood up and ignored everyone. The storm raged on, worse than before. He went to his locker and ignored the comments and looks directed at him. He went to class two minutes too early but dreaded the day to come. He had to present a speech. In front of the whole class.
David sat at his desk and stared outside the window blankly. The storm was still terrible, and he didn’t know how school was still allowed to proceed in this weather. He found himself extending his hand to the window. He reached for the skies… yet the only thing he saw were the dark clouds staring back.
Chapter Three: Misery
As you can expect, the speech didn’t go well. He couldn’t speak for two seconds without being interrupted by a disrespectful comment, and it ended up taking seven minutes to get through half of the speech. Eventually, he just ripped his paper and walked out of the classroom. Nobody called him back. It wasn’t as if they wanted him there anyway.
He hid in the bathroom. David considered his life; he felt so sad and miserable, and the pain was too much to bear. His thoughts grew clouded, he didn’t know what to do, and his vision blurred. He collapsed in the stall and lay there. He didn’t wake up until after school had ended. It didn’t seem like anyone had gone after him. It seemed like nobody cared.
Chapter 4: The rain
The storm had gotten worse if that was even possible. His mom wasn’t coming to pick him up, as she had another day at work today. He was going to have to walk in the rain. The path back was long and dreadful. It felt longer than the way there. It was the same way he had always taken, yet it felt so confusing. “Why do I feel this way?” That was the question he thought at that time.
The rain blocked his way. The rain felt like his despair and misery. No matter how much he wanted to go through it, it would rage on and remain. No matter how much he fought for it to end, it stormed on. No matter how much he cried, despair remained.
Chapter 5: HOPE
It was a new day. Same as always. He saw the note mum had written and went off to school. It was storming again. And he was bullied. As always. A teacher glanced at the scene through the window, before turning away.
After they left David lying on the ground in the rain, he looked up and saw someone extending a hand out to him.
“Do you need help?” said the boy.
The clouds cleared slightly, and a sliver of sun shone through the crack.
He felt hope.
He saw happiness.
Illustrated by Elizer Sang
Year 5, Highly Commended, Wilberforce
Cloudy Memories
By Ira Shrestha
2nd Place, Liddell
I woke up, head pounding, my thoughts running around my head and my vision was unfocused and cloudy. I didn’t know where I was. I could see I was in bed in a gloomy-looking room. It looked dark outside, as though the sun was setting, and I could see the dull clouds dripping their rain onto my window.
“It’s pretty heavy rain, isn’t it?” I jumped a little as I turned my attention to the door. I saw a figure. My eyes, still blurry, couldn’t identify who was talking to me. My body ached and I tried to sit up properly.
“Take it slow,” the figure stated as it walked closer to me.
I tried to speak, but my voice was hoarse and raspy, so I thought it better of it. Instead, I tried to communicate through my expressions. I squinted my eyes, trying to discover who this was and why they were there. I didn’t remember anything; my thoughts were foggy and misty.
Eventually, after a handful of attempts to speak - my voice croaked, and it took quite a while for me to get a few words out of my mouth, "W-who are you?"
I waited patiently for a response. The figure came closer, and I could identify it was a man. “You don’t remember?” The man’s voice was husky and deep, with a slight tone of disappointment and worry. Was I supposed to know who he was?
“N-no, I don’t...” My voice gave up on me. I coughed a few times, trying to clear the phlegm from my throat so I could talk.
The figure came next to my bed, and I could finally see him. The man had soft brown hair with a hint of blonde in it, like caramel. He had hazel eyes that looked majestic, rays of the afternoon sun subtly hit his face under his glasses. He looked familiar, but I couldn’t think how I knew him. He smiled gently at me. “I’m Milo...”
I looked at him with big, curious eyes, examining every feature of his face. I couldn’t seem to recall a Milo from any of the memories I had. “Do I know you?”
I saw genuine confusion flash across his face as he replied, “Yeah, yeah you do.”
I could see tears forming in his eyes, his lips smiled, but beneath it was pain.
A doctor came in, and I instantly recognised where I was - the hospital. I watched as Milo stepped out of the room and the doctor did too. I was left alone with silence and the occasional sound of machines beeping. After a few minutes, I saw both of them walk back in, and the doctor informed me that I had a chronic illness and would most probably live my life in hospital. Doctors would monitor me and keep me safe.
Over the course of a few days, Milo continued to visit me. Every day he gave me bento lunchboxes filled with all my favourite foods - pasta and watermelon, or a chicken sandwich and mango - with these cute little food picks for me to eat the slices of fruit with. I grew curious. What was my relationship with Milo?
The following day, Milo opened my door with that wide smile that could light up the city after dark. He was carrying a bento lunchbox, and I asked, “Milo?”
“Yes?” He responded with that sweet voice I admired.
“What are you to me?”
“What do you mean?” He looked confused by my question.
“What kind of relationship do I have with you?”
He replied, “You’ve been my best friend since birth.”
“What about my parents? Why don’t they visit me?”
I watched as Milo hesitated to answer.
“They died a few weeks before your accident.”
“What accident?” I asked, my voice laced with concern.
“You passed out at my house while walking down the stairs. That’s what caused your memory loss.”
The week after that, Milo didn’t come to visit me. Next thing I knew, it was the week after that, then the next week, and still no Milo. I started to feel anxious and worried, so I asked for a doctor. The doctor came in and asked,
“What’s wrong?”
I asked, my voice full of concern, “Have you seen Milo?”
The doctor looks at be strangely, and asked, “Who's Milo?”
What?!? Was it all a dream? Was he real? Or imaginary? I guess I won't ever know…
Illustrated by Tatiana Laris
Year 5, 2nd Place, Liddell
Clouds
By Orlando Castillo-Zamora
Highly Commended, Carmichael
There, when the sun is to rise,
There, moving past across our eyes,
Drifting away along the sky,
Like the gentle butterfly.
Painting pictures in the air,
Something for all to love and share.
Standing still night and day,
Watching us play, play, play.
When you gaze up at the sky,
Watch them travel softly by.
In their whispers, you will hear,
A peace that pacifies the ear.
Illustrated by Elise Monov
Year 5, Highly Commended, Carmichael
Pictures in the Sky
Pictures in the Sky
Claudia Agostino
Highly Commended, Lewis
I watch the clouds floating about
until they eventually fade out.
They bring us the rain, they block the sun and
show us how God’s work is done.
As they sit high in the skies,
I make pictures using my eyes.
Some are soft, some are white,
others are dark on a stormy night.
As we climb a mountain peak,
we see how each of them are unique.
From Heaven, God sees it all - the sky, each cloud and each new day.
It is all part of God’s love for us, in every special way.
Illustrated by Maylin Earl
Year 5, 1st Place, Wilberforce
The Cloud City
By Xander Saccaro
Highly Commended, Lewis
Angelo and Michael were reading a book about the legendary Cloud City in the library. The brothers loved reading about epic legends and adventures. Since a young age they had travelled to new locations to explore and discover new things. They continued eagerly to read the book. There was a legend that in a secret location there was a city, a city full of riches and lost treasures, hidden in the clouds of Cloud City. But there was a catch, the only way into the city was by going through a portal which only opened with a mystical key. To find the key you had to go to the town of Lavenia located in the Italian Alps. The key only appeared every hundred years on the first of January, once a new century started.
“Today is that day Angelo!” Michael yelled out. The two boys were excited and determined to find Cloud City. This was their only chance to discover riches, so they set off. All they had was the clothes on their back and five dollars. The journey was unforgiving and treacherous. The landscape was mountainous and harsh. There were no freshwater rivers or lakes in sight and no animals or wild plants to sustain their journey. At night it was as cold as ice. Furthermore, the villages were small and sparse with little space to offer to travellers.
Nonetheless, the starved and dehydrated Michael and Angelo continued their unrelenting and dangerous journey. Finally, after weeks of travelling Michael and Angelo reached the town of Lavenia. The town was small but cosy with little cottages and small vegetable gardens. There was a small but pristine river running through the centre of town. The people were welcoming to the starved and dehydrated boys and gave them food, water and shelter.
The next day Michael and Angelo were woken by the bright sun and decide to start looking for the key to Cloud City. They rummaged around town but found nothing. They tried looking down and up around the long green river but there was still nothing. Michael and Angelo had another idea; they would search the Italian Alps. Michael and Angelo searched and searched around all the mountains but found nothing at all. Later that fateful night, there was a loud ‘Bang!’ The brothers frantically ran outside and found a key floating up on a cloud. It was covered with gold and beautiful cloud material but how would they get up there?
Suddenly, another loud sound followed, ‘Bang!’ A bridge appeared right in front of them that led up to the key. The bridge did not seem safe or secure and had no railings. It was covered in old, rusty nails and was broken in various sections. A strong ferocious warrior who held a big, long sword and was covered in chainmail armour stood guarding the bridge. Angelo yelled out, “We shouldn't go on the bridge, we won’t survive!”
But Michael did not listen. Instead he grabbed his dagger and charged towards the man. Angelo hesitated, but he knew he had to help Michael, so he grabbed his bow and arrow and started shooting the man. The battle was intense and fierce, Michael barely holding on against the man who continued to batter him relentelessly, but suddenly ‘Slash!’ Michael stabbed him. Angelo was about to deal the final blow and kill the man, but Michael quickly screamed out “We must spare him, he was only doing his job!”’ Angelo ran to help the wounded man. The man then said, “You have successful passed the test and you may now collect the key to Cloud City.’’ To access Cloud City they would have to travel to Torvee and open the portal.
Michael and Angelo grabbed the key and started their journey to Torvee. After yet another gruelling trek, they arrived at the portal. At the front of the portal they found more guards. They handed the key over to them and walked through. First there was nothing, it was dark and cold, but then, with a blink of an eye, there was Cloud City. It was unbelievable. The city was bustling with life and the buildings were covered in bright solid gold.
Michael and Angelo were amazed at the bright city that was in front of them. They scrabbled to collect all the gold they could find. The gold was like nothing they had ever seen. It was light and precious. “We're rich!’’ Michael and Angelo celebrated. The hardships and troubles were behind them. They had achieved the impossible. Then as the boys were about to leave, Michael had a change of heart and decided to leave the gold. Angelo, curious, asked, “Michael what about the gold, isn’t that what you wanted?” Michael slowly turned around while smiling and replied, “The adventure is enough for me, where to next Angelo?”
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