Teacher Testimonies IV

The school year of 2020-21 and teaching during a pandemic will certainly be one that I never forget. Going into the year, one of the things I was most excited about was the opportunity to teach a senior year level course, especially because that meant teaching a group of students which I had particularly loved teaching two years prior. Little did I know that seeing all their smiling faces again would actually be occurring over zoom. Though I was not a fan of the “zoom life,” the transition was a little bit easier with my seniors because they knew me and I knew them, so there was already a certain level of comfort.

Overall, the first quarter of teaching was very difficult. I struggled with a lack of human interaction and felt like I was not doing a good job of connecting with my students or motivating them. I am obviously in the teaching profession because I love working with people, but teaching over zoom felt like I was talking to a wall most days. Another unforeseen challenge was how much work it would take to re-create my curriculum in an online format. I was constantly worried about whether or not my students would understand the information or that my Google Classroom was too overwhelming, but I just tried to do my best and communicate with them that if they needed me, I was there. As much as I feel like I am fairly tech savvy, my tendency to be a perfectionist meant that I had to learn how to be more efficient with my time preparing for three different classes. I am also very lucky that I have some awesome math coworkers to share the workload and collaborate with!

While this year has had its lows, there have also been many highlights. I have been wanting to try the “flipped classroom” model of providing instruction via video that students could watch from home and then providing class time for more problem solving and discussion, but I was honestly too scared in the past that it would completely flop. This year, though, it quite frankly seemed like the only option that was both equitable and effective, with students having to miss zooms or being quarantined. With lessons pre-recorded, every one could enjoy my lovely and exciting math, but at their own pace and when most convenient for them! And the best part about teaching is of course still the students. They bring me so much more joy than they even realize, and I love it when they tell stories or joke around with each other. We have all learned together to adapt and be flexible, and I feel that I can still maintain high expectations for my students while allowing them some grace as they try to navigate the many things going on around them locally, nationally, and globally.

To be honest, being a senior during a pandemic isn’t terrible. I don’t feel like it’d be any worse for myself than if I was in another grade. I guess I never had any high expectations -- or any expectations at all-- for my senior year so it never felt I lost much. Or maybe it’s just my disbelief in the general “high school is the best years of your life” sentiments. I know everyone is going through a similar situation of not being able to properly live life and something we just have to accept.

Meanwhile, I’ve just been in my little bubble of the world, taking Zoom classes, doing school work, and college applications. To be honest, I’m not super lonely; I’ve still had a few calls with some friends which have been nice and I know that I’ll see them again at some point. It’s not preferable, but the social isolation aspect of the pandemic probably isn’t hitting me as much because I’m busy all the time anyway. My room used to be relatively clean, but now the floor is littered with school supplies, textbooks, and notebook paper. My sleep schedule is super messed up and I've been staying up late while taking naps late in the morning after class, but at least overall I’ve been getting more sleep overall than any other year in high school.

Since the pandemic is something I have no control over, I’ve just sucked it up and accepted it since the beginning. But after a year, the bread-baking and whipped coffee phase of quarantine is over. Before COVID-19 hit, I was exhausted with a heavy course load. I remember thinking “I want to go home” constantly and even remember saying earlier that year “I wish I could do school from home. I could do most of this work without physically coming in,” in a conversation with a few friends. Well, I got what I wanted and now I’m still tired, but a different type of tired. I’m tired of this monotony and crave change. Fortunately, more and more people are getting vaccinated, so maybe things in the summer will change, but we’ll see what happens (wouldn’t want to say too much and jinx it haha).