Dear Slow Walkers

Dear Slow Walkers,

I only have a few questions. What motivates you to cosplay a turtle each and every day? Are you in no hurry to get to class? While I admire this “stop and smell the roses” mentality, the reality is that five minutes is just not enough time to smell the roses- and high school students are far from smelling like roses.

I understand not wanting to be the first person at your class, but at your speed, there’s no doubt you’ll be the last no matter where you’re going. And I have to ask: What makes being late so cool? Why is slipping into class as the bell rings, or even after, better than being on time? 

Let me explain something to you. If you want to be late to class, that’s on you. Your choice. But making me late to class? Not happening. Especially with the attendance policy this year.

While some of the issues with the sluggish hallways can be attributed to excessive overcrowding on the stairs, it seems to me that much of this overcrowding could be avoided if people hurried up a bit.

As we’ve learned in many a math class, the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. So let’s employ that knowledge by walking in the straight lines that make up our lovely NHS hallways. 

On the stairs, please just keep walking. In the hallways, don’t stop and talk or walk slower than a sleeping snail. As exhausted as we all are, please wait until after the bell rings to take a break. In your seat. In the classroom.

Just think: Wouldn’t life be so much better without hallway traffic jams? 

Sincerely,

A just-as-exhausted student who needs to get to class 🫶