I am sure that many of the people reading this article have a keychain, a mug or some sort of other common household item with their name engraved on it. You probably bought this item in a gift shop on a trip you took, or in a souvenir store at the end of an amazing adventure. However, I am also sure that there are many of you at home who do not possess such an item. Not for lack of want, but for lack of accessibility. By now, those of you with unique and uncommon names have learned to stop looking for your name on these items - knowing that no matter how hard you search, your name will not be there. At least, I know this is true for myself.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it is not as though I have a particular use or an immense need for another mug or key chain to display on my already cluttered desk. However, there is a certain loneliness that comes with the lack of engraved items.
Growing up in America with an Israeli name has proven to be more challenging than I’m sure my parents expected it to be. For instance, there is always a certain sense of fear or panic on the first day of school when the teacher takes attendance for the first time. I always have to brace myself for the mispronunciations. It has gotten to the point that when the teacher looks at a name for too long, I already know that they are trying to figure out the correct way to pronounce my name. Or for example, having to have a “Starbucks name” as we like to call it. Essentially, a Starbucks name is a seemingly common name that one would give in a situation where they would not want their real name to be said out loud, for fear of total and utter mispronunciation. I have also become accustomed to the phrases, “Could you say it one more time?” and “That’s so unique!” And yes, it is unique, but it is never said in a curious or interested tone that implies a genuine want to know about my name. No, it is always said with a hint of disgust or snarkiness behind it.
This is not to say that having a unique name is all bad. On the contrary, it gives many benefits in everyday life. For example, I have never been in a situation in which my last name has had to be used in order to tell me apart from someone else. I have never had another person with my same name in my class, which also means that I have a higher chance of being remembered not only by teachers but by peers. They will very rarely meet another person with my name, and therefore I will be the only person they associate with said name. Additionally, it is a great conversation starter. When someone is genuinely interested in where my name comes from, I can have a full conversation with them about the origins and significance it has in my culture. One NHS student recalls, “It’s not all bad. I once had an hour-long conversation with a teacher after school about my name and my culture - and now she is writing me a letter of recommendation.” I would even go as far to say that while having an unpopular name can tend to have people make assumptions about you and where you come from, it can also be a chance for you to educate people about your culture or share aspects of your identity. As one student said, “Sometimes I can see the looks people give me when they hear my name for the first time and I know what they are thinking about…but when someone really wants to know it makes me feel heard and seen, and I really appreciate it when people have a real want to know more about me.”
So yes, having an uncommon name in America is difficult. It comes with a life full of frustrations -- constantly having to correct people, dealing with false assumptions and wishing your parents had thought a little more about what they wanted to name you. However, it also gives you a tie to your culture and can make you stand out more and be more memorable. So for those of you who do not have an engraved key chain with your name out there, know that you are not alone in that, and that at the end of that day, having a unique name is not so bad after all.