The Big Stall Holdup

Breaking news: people actually appreciate the groups of girls who stand in the big stall of the bathrooms and others who sit on the floor while eating their lunch.

Not only do the people who are forced to wait in line for ungodly amounts of time love smelling the blueberry ball blast vape scent filling the air as they check their phone, realizing they are officially late to class, but seeing lunch trays fill the trash cans in the bathrooms makes the environment even more welcoming. I will give credit where credit is due: leaving class early to smoke in the bathrooms with your friends while understanding that you are causing people to urinate themselves standing in line is definitely audacious. You must have a huge ego to walk out of the stall with your heads held high as you pass upperclassmen and teachers who waited for you to do your part in making the girls bathrooms at the high school a better smelling place. In case you haven’t heard from the multitudes of complaints that have been running rampant through the halls during passing periods, people are jumping for joy knowing that they need to call ahead to book a stall for two minutes. I hope the constant appraisal of your work brings a smile to your face when you walk to your next class knowing the effect that you have had on everyone’s bladders.

The poop palaces in the 200s and 400s have been especially rancid these past few months since the first years landed in the big stalls like the true rockets they are. I am belated that the high school hired new air fresheners over winter break to start the new year off right; however, I am a bit skeptical of the scent choices. Crying in the bathrooms has proved a bit difficult, but thankfully, you have been able to utilize them to their fullest potential, even going to such lengths as staking out the big stall to eat lunch on the floor with your friends and making it feel like home.