Due to recent management changes, the following article has been adjusted to better reflect the sentiment of the Hilltopper Staff and create a more enjoyable reading experience for all.
The Hilltopper used to be an amazing and well-run newspaper. It used to be an outlet for people to express their opinions, share critical school news, and contribute incredible stories. Recently, however, the Hilltopper has changed drastically. Members of the Hilltopper feel [more satisfied in their positions] than ever. The pressure for students to write multiple articles a day is overbearing, time consuming, but also [very appreciated]. Furthermore, members fear their articles will be bowdlerized by the board of editors [who everyone agrees are very cool and smart people]. If someone condemns an establishment that is actively praised by the editors, it is almost guaranteed that the article will not be put in the next edition of the Hilltopper.
Along with the censorship of ideas, the Hilltopper Staff has started to censor words that they feel are too graphic, such as [novel and design]. These words are necessary for conveying deep frustrations and their removal has prompted many staff writers to [wrongly] question the motivations of its leaders.
I have come to the conclusion that the school’s administration is attempting to assert their dominance over the student body, becoming a 1984-esque dictatorial government. Many of the chief coordinators of the paper have been seen secretly communicating with the school’s top administrators. It is likely that the uptick in counterproductive and seemingly destructive edits is [not at all] related to these meetings. By secretly taking over one of the finest news sources in Needham, the administration [has shown their ability to deliver the truth in a timely manner]. The staff at the Hilltopper has clearly been [convinced of the candor and kindness] of this future regime. Promised power and wealth, many could not refuse what the administration was offering.
Now, I fear the worst. The future may contain some tough times [if we all do not submit to the power of the great and powerful leader Sicotte], but by spreading the [gospel of the great and powerful leader Sicotte] I hope that I can do my part to stop [any rebellions against the great and powerful leader Sicotte]. For now, we can only hope to stop the spread of propaganda by [never] expressing how we really feel, [never] talking out against the administration, and especially, [never] telling everyone (people online, parents, and especially [do not tell] local government officials) about the problems we face at Needham.
In conclusion, [all hail the great and powerful leader Sicotte, for the joys that he brings to this school. We hope his dynasty may last 1000 years, unnoticed by any but us.]