Dover-Sherborn? More Like Covid-Airborne.

by Will Haney

Published: October 12, 2020

High school students at Dover-Sherborn High School are now joining us for a two week delay of their hybridised learning plan after a police report of a 100-150 person house party over the weekend. When the police arrived, many of the partygoers, including some home-grown Needhamites,  promptly fled into the woods. Because of this rapscallious behavior, police were only able to ask for names from a few of the participants. After their investigation they realized only a couple dozen of the participants were stupid enough to tell them their real names. A majority of the people questioned gave the name of someone else.


Here is a list of names yet to be determined if they were at the party:


Amy Herst

Brad Ford

Al Burroughs

Brook line

Ned Field

Summer field

Lyn Field

Dennis

Wesley

Frank Lin

Quin C.

Chad Em

Brian Tree

Nate Ick

Brock Ton

Cam Bridge

Sam Wich


As we all know, cops are very smart and always use their power correctly and a great thing and there’s nothing wrong with them, so it comes as a major surprise to us to hear that almost a hundred teenagers were able to evade them. 

Superintendent of the Dover-Sherborn Regional School District, Mr. Keough, wrote, “In choosing to flout the rules set down by society in the pandemic, they have now put us all at risk.” Traditionally students are not known to care much for rules set down by society because society does not put a lot of thought into the rules they make. From witchcraft to marijuana, New England teenagers have been meeting by the woods to practice things their parents would most certainly not be proud of for a long time. Now, something as normal as a large illegal gathering of possibly intoxicated youth is a serious risk of spreading a plague the likes of which has never before touched the shores of our precious Bay State.