It was a warm spring day when I ventured into the cafeteria for lunch. Upon stepping into the lunch line, however, I began to be overwhelmed by the rich smell of perfectly cooked cheese and tomato sauce. As the line of hungry students pushed me closer to the food, I noticed an indescribable amount of pizza. Decadent triangle slices of pizza being served for lunch was not unusual, but what was unusual was that it was being served on a Tuesday. I, like many others, had been informed that pizza had been revoked from the cafeteria Tuesdays and Thursdays, so why was it suddenly back?
Regardless, I took my slice without complaint or hesitation. As the smell of my slice wafted up to my nose, I went to look for some other food to accommodate my main course. As I made my way to the salad bar, I noticed some strange options in place of the old ones. A group of students had gathered around where the chicken sandwiches were usually held. I pushed my way through the crowd to see what they were all gawking at. In place of the chicken sandwiches there were pizza sandwiches piled to the top of the cart. The buns were crispy crust, and sandwiched between the loafs was thick mozzarella cheese slathered in creamy, fresh, tomato sauce.
“What about the chicken sandwiches?” one student exclaimed.
“Hey, pizza is pizza,” another replied while elbowing his friends.
The chatter began to rise with specific opinions on the new option. Since I'd already picked my entree for the day, though, I didn't mind it. I left the conflicted students surrounding the pizza sandwiches to fill my tray with some healthier options.
I should’ve expected it, but I was still shocked. Instead of the usual options at the salad bar, it was all pizza. But not your typical slices of pizza. The typical salad bowls were filled with cut up pieces of crust, large pieces of mozzarella cheese, tomatoes and pepperoni, along with a tomato sauce dressing. In addition to the pizza salad, where the usual toppings sat was an array of different flavors of shredded cheese.
The students around me stood motionless, not sure what had become of our usual salad options. For a moment I stood frozen, not sure if I was dreaming. The exasperated and excited chatter around me quieted. Was this a prank? When the students complained about the loss of pizza every day, we hadn’t meant to suggest this.
I decided to check one more area to see if the pizza had really taken over the cafeteria. I reached past the salad bar to open the fridge that usually held the wraps. I should've been surprised, but I barely blinked at the no-longer chicken caesar salad wraps that were replaced with thin crust and a cheese and sauce filling.
I whipped my head around to face where I had come from and back again to where I was facing. It was true. Every single option was pizza. The cafeteria staff had taken our request to bring pizza back every day too seriously. Instead, somehow the elimination of pizza turned into the elimination of all other options in the NHS cafeteria.
Pizza wraps.
Pizza yogurt.
Pizza veggies.
Pizza cookies.
Pizza lunchables.
Pizza topped with pizza.
The pizza had overpowered everything. I felt dizzy as I spun around again, still hoping for an option that didn’t consist of crust, cheese, and sauce. Some students were ecstatic at this change. There were whoops and giddy shouts as they grabbed for the different but oh-so-similar pizza options. Others, like me, were dumbfounded or confused. If we didn't like or want pizza, what were we supposed to eat?
Students clamored in every direction, trying to make sense of the options. I needed more space. I eyed all of the other options before taking some other crust sides and punching in my number to successfully buy my lunch.
Even outside of where the food in the cafeteria was, the atmosphere was hyper. Students who hadn’t even planned on buying lunch were trying to get a view of the new options. Some teachers tried to settle the hoards of teens, but they too were intrigued by this new development.
My attention was soon drawn away from the loud, surging crowd. Someone was hitting something, though the noise of it was barely audible. It was the vending machine. I knew it before I even saw what the girl was trying to knock out of the machine. Where the variety of chips, rice crispy treats, and other snacks were usually held in neat rows was now every possible pizza snack rendition. Forget about good old trail mix, instead it was dried crust, cheese curds, pepperoni bites along with some vegetables. Cheese and crackers was pepperoni filled with cheese, the rice crispy treat was of course a pineapple on pizza flavor. I scanned the replacement snacks up and down, in awe of the range of flavors.
From behind me a chant began to circulate.
“Pizza, Pizza, Pizza!”
The teachers were astounded by this point at what had come of our lunch options and let the students celebrate. The cafeteria began to get so rowdy that students were standing on tables and chanting. A few moments later, the head of the cafeteria staff came out.
She held up a gooey slice of pizza for all to see.
“We were fools for eliminating the pizza on Tuesdays and Thursdays,” she exclaimed.
“So from now on we will only have pizza here at the NHS cafeteria.”
Exuberant cheers and gasps followed. The head of the cafeteria eyed the whole room, a smile creeping up her lips as she let out a high pitched laugh.
“Although,” she started, “to me it looks like most of you in here are the fools. It seems like all the pizza fooled you into forgetting what day it was.”
The crowd went silent. Everyone froze as the TV screen filled with a picture of the most decadent pizza and read, “HAPPY APRIL FOOLS DAY!!!”