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Have you ever found yourself talking more than listening when conversing with someone you don't know very well? Have you ever struggled to engage someone in conversation?
Most conversations we have are habitual. We don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about how to get the other person to converse with us because people we are familiar with are generally easier to talk to. Therapeutic communication can be a helpful tool to use when you find yourself at a loss for words with someone.
Therapeutic Communication Strategies:
Therapeutic Communication Strategies:
Ask Open Ended Questions!
Ask Open Ended Questions!
An open-ended question is designed to encourage a meaningful answer using the person's own knowledge and/or feelings. Closed-ended questions are questions that elicit one word answers like "good," "bad," "yes," or "no."
Asking open ended questions will help you:
Asking open ended questions will help you:
- Elicit more specific information
- Focus the discussion on a specific problem
- Help define the problem
Examples of Open Ended Questions:
Examples of Open Ended Questions:
- "What are your feelings about that?"
- "What would you do differently next time?"
- "What was an experience you have had in which you felt the most successful?"
Reflect!
Reflect!
Acknowledge the person's feelings by reflecting back a short summary of what they told you.
Example:
"I didn't learn anything in class today!"
Reflect back to them before asking an open ended question. Acknowledge their feeling before moving on. This will ensure that you heard them and will help to build trust.
Try responding with ...
"I'm sorry you feel you did not learn anything today. What happened in class that made you feel that way?"
Use Empathetic Listening!
Use Empathetic Listening!
- Try to accurately understand what the person is saying.
- Consider how what the person said relates to their life.
- Observe the person's body language: posture, coordination and gestures
- Watch for facial expressions
- Listen to the tone of voice
- Try not to judge
- Maintain an open posture (try not to cross your arms over your chest)
- Try not to rush through interactions
- Sit so that you are facing the person directly
- Listen with fascination
Actively Listen!
Actively Listen!
Try To:
Try To:
- Observe: Pay attention to body language, energy level, and words used.
- Reflect: "This seems really important to you."
- Encourage: "Tell me more about that."
- Give Feedback: "It seems to me that this subject is hard for you."
- Validate: "I appreciate you telling me that." This promotes trust.
- Pause: Pausing and allowing silence gives the other person time to sort out their thoughts or digest what you just said.
- Summarize: This is a good way to show the person you were listening and adds clarity so that problem-solving can start.
Try Not To:
Try Not To:
Preach, Mind Read, Judge, Diagnose, Pry. These can trigger someone to become defensive, create resistance, or cause mistrust to develop between the parties.
Establishing Boundaries:
Establishing Boundaries:
Another important aspect of communication and working with students in a supportive capacity is establishing boundaries. Boundaries are rules or limits that two people create to identify reasonable and safe ways to behave towards each other. Setting boundaries helps both the student and mentor/staff understand the expectations of each meeting.
Examples of Important Boundaries:
Examples of Important Boundaries:
1. Know the scope of your role! It's okay to refer the student to additional resources if you aren't able to support them.
2. Define your role and identify the student's needs during the very first meeting.
3. Establish rapport and acknowledge that confidentiality is a priority during your time together.
References:
https://blog.beingfirst.com/use-active-listening-to-promote-positive-business-change
https://thearseniobuckshow.com/2017/11/20/stephen-covey-empathic-listening/
https://ithemes.com/communication-skills-for-freelancers/
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/
McCarthy, K. (2017). Therapeutic Communication Skills. Retrieved from Dominican University of CA.
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