Have you ever found yourself talking more than listening when conversing with someone you don't know very well? Have you ever struggled to engage someone in conversation?
Most conversations we have are habitual. We don't have to spend a lot of time thinking about how to get the other person to converse with us because people we are familiar with are generally easier to talk to. Therapeutic communication can be a helpful tool to use when you find yourself at a loss for words with someone.
An open-ended question is designed to encourage a meaningful answer using the person's own knowledge and/or feelings. Closed-ended questions are questions that elicit one word answers like "good," "bad," "yes," or "no."
Acknowledge the person's feelings by reflecting back a short summary of what they told you.
Example:
"I didn't learn anything in class today!"
Reflect back to them before asking an open ended question. Acknowledge their feeling before moving on. This will ensure that you heard them and will help to build trust.
Try responding with ...
"I'm sorry you feel you did not learn anything today. What happened in class that made you feel that way?"
Preach, Mind Read, Judge, Diagnose, Pry. These can trigger someone to become defensive, create resistance, or cause mistrust to develop between the parties.
Another important aspect of communication and working with students in a supportive capacity is establishing boundaries. Boundaries are rules or limits that two people create to identify reasonable and safe ways to behave towards each other. Setting boundaries helps both the student and mentor/staff understand the expectations of each meeting.
1. Know the scope of your role! It's okay to refer the student to additional resources if you aren't able to support them.
2. Define your role and identify the student's needs during the very first meeting.
3. Establish rapport and acknowledge that confidentiality is a priority during your time together.
References:
https://blog.beingfirst.com/use-active-listening-to-promote-positive-business-change
https://thearseniobuckshow.com/2017/11/20/stephen-covey-empathic-listening/
https://ithemes.com/communication-skills-for-freelancers/
https://positivepsychologyprogram.com/great-self-care-setting-healthy-boundaries/
McCarthy, K. (2017). Therapeutic Communication Skills. Retrieved from Dominican University of CA.