Forever love

Sometimes love can be a gamble but the reward can be much greater in the end. My biggest gamble was with Ava and the reward was definitely the jackpot. Love has changed my life in so many ways and I hope this narrative shows just how much. 

One day in 6th grade on the bus back to our home middle school I made the big decision to finally find a way to tell her that I loved her. Originally I was kinda scared to tell her and I didn’t know how to actually tell her without making it awkward for both of us. For the couple days before I had been thinking about it but I was honestly terrified to tell her. I was scared to tell her because I was afraid that she wouldn’t love me too and all I would be doing is making a big fool of myself. In elementary school I was mostly just this weird tech nerd so making myself look bad was the last thing I needed in my first year of middle school. 

The whole bus ride that day I spent trying to figure out how I would tell her and not make it awkward for both of us. The hardest part of it was the fact that she was sitting right next to me so I was tempted to just tell her. I managed to convince myself not to though because if she didn’t then I would stuck with her knowing that she didn’t. Before I even knew it the bus had stopped back at our home middle school and had to go home. The entire ride back home I couldn’t stop thinking about how I was actually going to tell her because we didn’t have school the next day so I couldn’t just tell her. 

Later that night while I was lying in bed I finally decided to just tell her by sending her a text explaining that I did. At the time I didn’t know that she would already be asleep so most of the night I stayed up waiting for her to respond. I thought I had been feeling nervous and scared before but this was more than I had ever been in my whole life. I eventually fell asleep later that night, but right when I woke up I checked my phone just to see that she hadn’t responded yet. At this point I was so scared that I was tempted to just call her and tell her but I didn’t because I knew that would make it even more awkward.

I waited almost 4 more hours until she finally responded. When I saw that she finally did, my heart dropped and I was more anxious than ever. I never thought I would be so scared to read a single text message. It took me probably another 10 minutes to finally read it but when I did all my stress disappeared. At the moment I didn’t know what to do because I never expected that she would actually say that she did too. I ended up just doing what I was going to do that day but knowing that she did couldn’t ever take that smile off my face. 

Something I never understood is how in all these movies love just changes everything but I finally understand how. Love is truly something that can change you forever but it proves itself over time. Yes, love might be the greatest gamble you can ever take but the reward is always greater in the end. 

The end