Hello, my name is Addie Letts and I am a junior at Saint Peter High School. I enjoy writing poetry because it has a unique ability to capture my true emotions and thoughts. Whether it's joy, sorrow, love, or frustration, poetry provides a creative outlet for me to express myself.
Cleo, It pains me.
It pained me how your ears and skin slowly turned yellow beneath your patterned fur. A sickly yellow, like the dying leaves of autumn.
How you would throw up after every food you ate.
Or how you still seemed so happy, even though you were going through hell, like a candle bravely flickering in a storm.
It pained me that it seemed like no one cared, as if your name was like a whisper lost in the wind.
How the vet had no urgency.
Or how everyone thought you were “just a cat,”. A simple label that couldn't capture your soul.
It pained me how we had no way of telling you, “Cleo, you are getting put down tomorrow. I’m sorry.”
Instead, you would just think it was a normal vet checkup. Unaware of the finality of this visit, the last time I would hold you in my arms.
Oh, how morally wrong it felt to drive you to the vet that day.
Or how you had no idea what was happening as they gave you that shot.
Now, it pains me to think there's no bright, emerald gaze staring at me when I walk through the front door anymore, like a lighthouse gone dark.
No one clawed at my closed door at six in the morning, wanting daily cuddles.
Your meows feel like an alarm clock that no longer chimes.
Nothing responding to the birds chirping outside the living room window.
And, no one to cuddle with Pogo while I'm off at school and my parents at work.
It pains me to realize that the ornaments can now be hung low to the ground when we put up the Christmas tree.
The festive decorations seem to hang with heavy sadness, like tears frozen in time.
No more feeding you treats while we bake the peanut butter blossom cookies with Christmas music in the background.
The homemade stocking we made for you years ago, now lays untouched at the bottom of the Christmas bin.
And worst of all, no more cuddling my kitty on Christmas mornings, watching the snow fall, like a silent white blanket.
It pains me to think that I will never feel your body cuddled up to mine when watching a movie or reading before bed, like a warm comforting blanket.
How I'll never again get to see your emerald, curious eyes following my every move.
Or the way your favorite blanket lays at the bottom of my bed, waiting for you to come, to nurse.
Untouched, like a forgotten treasure.
It pains me how you’ll never get your rare playtime outside again.
No more grass to secretly eat.
No more leaf piles that you can lie down on.
And, no more chasing the tennis ball that we threw at our dog.
It pains me to come home and see the flowers planted over your final resting place.
How sick you got like a wilting flower losing its color.
How you had no idea that it was the last time I would ever hug you on that gloomy morning.
How we lost you so suddenly, like a lightning bolt struck in a clear sky.
Too suddenly.
And how I lost my baby.