Impermanence and Compassion

The fourth couplet of the sutra explores why impermanence helps free our mind from attachment. It has been an interesting topic to question, as it can be applicable to many aspects of our life. 

Upon reading and reflecting on Awakening Dignity, by Phakchok Rinpoche and Sophie Wu (2022), we heavily discussed this idea in regards to death. Though through further exploration, such regard toward death can also be applied to how we live our life, as the idea of death and how to be accepting of it is just another way of considering how we should live. 

The logical answer is to live with dignity, but what does that even mean? No one knows the answer, but another way to look at it is how can we all live compassionately? 

Not compassion as an action but compassion as a state of being is how I have interpreted what we have learned in the past three weeks.

The first line of the couplet creates an awareness that this life that we have constructed for ourselves and our ultimate being does not last forever. 

This was an aspect that I used to feel kind of torn about because who the heck wants to think that they can’t live forever? Everyone wants to live forever. This is completely unrealistic, and through discussion it became clear that to understand impermanence, you need to understand why it is an important concept to prioritize. 

It is not important to prioritize impermanence so that you can be on the far end of the spectrum trying crazy things that threaten your life, and it does not mitigate our fear to never try anything at all because we are afraid of death. It must come from a state of understanding, the middle ground of being present with life and not attached to it. 

Once we can be more present, we can understand the value of life and that every single moment has an impact on us. When we are impacted in this way, we can become more in sync with ourselves and life. 

When we are out of sync with ourselves and life, we may ultimately cultivate the five poisons, instead of the four healing powers. 

When we settle our minds, let go, and accept what is put in front of us, then we have the foundation built to cultivate compassion. When we are free, we are able to free others. 

This is ultimately easier said than done; it takes a lot of practice to understand the impermanence of everything in our lives, including our lives. 

I hope going forward that we practice and all find peace through the understanding of impermanence and in that way we all can become compassionate sentient beings. 

It was interesting how I was able to broaden my lens and see how I have been living life kind of closed off, rigid, and anxious. Through this trip I was able to explore more about myself and find those causes and conditions that may have contributed to these aspects about myself. I found that it was not the cause or the condition; it was myself. It was in the process of thought, it was in my hardened protected heart, and a lack of openness I had.

Through questioning, meditating, and contemplating, it became easier to acknowledge the thoughts that arose and to follow the thread of why it might be arising. 

Every time I followed that thread, it always led me back to one place, my heart. It was hardened, and I thought for a long time I had been protecting it, that keeping life at arms length was protecting myself. That was not true at all. It only created more distress in my mind. This distress was unsettling and unwelcoming to not only others around me but also to myself.

When I kept pulling that thread, I realized that a lot of the troubles were because of how attached I was to certain aspects and versions of life that I wanted to be in control of -- even the simplest things, such as my morning cup of coffee. If I could not have it, I would let this attachment control me and my emotional recognition and regulation. I would be so attached to it that if I did not have it, I would just automatically assume it was going to be a bad day. That is not a logical way of thought whatsoever, nor was it a sustainable way of living life. 

It now seems so illogical because I never questioned it. I never questioned the pieces of myself that I wanted to protect and why.

By questioning myself and my thought process, it became abundantly clear how I was attached and how my lack of understanding of impermanence unsettled my mind and my heart. It did not provoke me to be compassionate to myself or to others in a way that was effortless. This effortlessness is what I perceive as the softening of the heart. An effortless way to view life and live life. 

It emphasizes the value in every experience, such as the one we have all had in Nepal. It has heightened every moment, every interaction, every friendship built, and every moment that has touched our hearts for the rest of our lives in an active way and passive way. 

It has become pivotal for me to use these mind-training practices actively until they become effortless. 

This quote discusses how people are so fixated on the little things in life that they expect to stay the same forever. 

When it comes to relationships that we form in life, we create images of these people and ourselves in our minds. This attachment causes us to focus on the permanent images that we create for ourselves. 

Understanding that people change and things change makes us become aware of our true selves. 

In Awaking Dignity (2022), Phakchok Rinpoche and Sophie Wu discuss our five poisons: anger, pride, jealousy, attachment, and ignorance. All play a part in the impermanence of life when it comes to our relationships. 

In many of our discussions for this course, we always came back to the question, “Does love in our relationships that come through obligation remain permanent or impermanent? If so, does it come as true love or love with obligation?” The main item that comes to mind is in regards to our family, a family that we love, but do not choose to have in our life. We all change in life, as do our relationships with the people who are closest to us, our family members. Yet, we still are able to keep the love that we have for each other, while the love that we have changes into other forms. 

I think it is so interesting that we will always love our mothers or siblings, as a permanent part of life. However, the type of love and the amount of love that we give and receive remains impermanent. This can be carried over to loving others whom we have chosen to be part of our life. 

The quote came up during a discussion when our classmate, Alyssa Gauna, asked, “Why should we even push for more, when we know things in life are impermanent?” This caused a silence in the room, making us ponder why we should put so much effort into an item that can instantly disappear. 

Khenpo Kunkhyab stated that we should appreciate those things even more if they are impermanent. Changing my perspective on items in my life that I view as fleeting has made them ever more important. It has even changed my perspective on how many things in life are fleeting, especially when it comes to life itself. 

I believe that everything in life is somewhat permanent and impermanent; it is how we view these perspectives. An example that I could offer is that the way we hold ourselves is consistent, yet we change through interacting with people and experiences.

Nepal has been a big change for all of us. Despite us coming here to help people and learn about Tibetan Buddhism, we also are learning new things about ourselves. Even in times when we remain stagnant in life, we still are capable of growing within ourselves. This trip has allowed us to add many people into our lives, even if for a short period of time. 

The lessons that they have taught us have had the biggest lasting impact, allowing us to have permanent wisdom. These people we have met and the experiences that we go through have made a permanent impact on our lives, even if we see these moments as minimal.

Such friendship and laughter have been created in a short period of time. Everlasting memories and wisdom!

Photo Credit: Kiana Simon