Early Childhood “Soft” Skills
In addition to reading, writing, and mathematics, your preschooler will be working on developing and improving “soft” skills throughout the school day to strengthen their academic and social-emotional learning. These skills include communication, emotional regulation, creativity, listening, collaboration, and time management. Practicing these skills at home helps your child become an engaged learner and make friends along the way!
Making Choices
Too many choices, especially when open-ended, can feel overwhelming to a child. To include your child in decision-making, offer two options that can be reasonably accommodated, such as:
Would you like apple slices or a banana with your yogurt?
Should we brush our teeth first or get dressed first?
Would you like to read a book or play hide and seek?
Playing
Young children learn best through play. Playing allows a child to explore, gain control, process emotions, and understand rules and social expectations. Some ways to expand development through play include:
Play several rounds of a game without letting your child win each round. Help them overcome the feelings that come with losing a game and model good sportsmanship by congratulating them when they win.
Occasionally choose the game or activity that you want to play with your child. If your child wants to do something different, let them know you want to finish your choice first, then (or next time) they can choose.
Following Routines
Children thrive with structure, but can sometimes resist it. If the routine parts of the day (brushing teeth, dressing themself, unpacking, etc.) are a struggle, these are a few ways to make the routine more enjoyable:
Review your expectations with your child so they know what they should be doing. Ask for their input by dividing the tasks into “things I can do myself” and “things I need help with.”
Make sure expectations are reasonable. Preschoolers may not be able to sweep or load a dishwasher, but can usually be independent in dressing themself, unpacking their backpack, and putting away their toys. They usually can assist in cleaning up after mealtime, sorting or folding laundry, and cleaning up minor spills.
Make a visual routine/chore list to reduce the amount of reminders needed. Your child can help create it, such as drawing pictures or taking photos of themselves to represent each activity.
Prepare the night before when possible by choosing breakfast, preparing a complete outfit, and packing lunch and snacks. Make sure all necessary items, including weather- appropriate outerwear, are in a designated location. This helps make the morning routine run smoothly and reduce the pressure of time.
Choose reinforcers (stickers, extra play time, etc.) for completing their routine. Make sure the rewards are realistic and something your child enjoys. Some kindergarteners may be able to wait until the end of the week for a larger reward, but some may need smaller daily incentives.
Review the expectations periodically and add more as your child becomes more independent.
Regulating Emotions
Young children are developing emotional control and coping skills by observing others and practicing in challenging situations. Although some resistance is still to be expected, such as saying “no,” crying, or avoiding, you may see your child improving in self-regulation during their preschool year.
Model emotional language using words such as “I’m sad” or “I feel nervous” to explain our feelings. Share stories about times you felt similar emotions and how you overcame them (example: I was getting angry because the grocery line was so long, but I took a deep breath and remembered how excited I was to make our favorite dinner when I got home).
Model coping strategies in challenging moments, such as deep breathing, taking a break, and positive talk to work through challenging situations.
Provide options for managing emotions, such as, “We can’t slam the door when we are angry but you can squeeze your pillow.”
Signs of “Soft” Skill Development
Independently dressing and undressing, including socks and shoes
Unpacking backpack after school
Agreeing to let someone else choose a game or activity
Congratulating someone else for winning a game
Using a coping strategy in a challenging situation (examples: deep breath, break, etc.)
Waiting to speak to you until you finish a phone call
Making a choice between two items (example: lollipop or cookie)
Recovering from upset without aggression
Using feelings words calmly (example: “I’m mad.”)
Taking perspective of someone else (example: “My friend felt sad when his toy broke.”)
Accepting a time limit (examples: screen time limit, time to get dressed)
Helping with chores (examples; setting table, sorting laundry, putting away toys)