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Scared Cat/Bonding
New cats can be very scared by big changes like a new home, even a very welcoming, loving one. It's common for scared kitties to not eat during the day, or when people are around, but they will often come out at night to nibble at their food and drink some water while they settle into a new home. There are a few over-the-counter calming aids you can also try to help her settle more quickly. Bach's Rescue Remedy is a herbal supplement you put into her food and/or water, and while it's not effective in 100% of cats, when it works within a few days. Feliway diffusers are another option that mimic a cat calming pheromone and in our experience work very well; but it can take up to a month before you see results.
In the meantime, it's often easier for cats to develop a sense of security when they have a small space of their own they can explore, so I recommend keeping her in a smallish room like a spare bathroom or a single bedroom. Make sure she has easy access to all the necessities: food, water, and a litter box, and that the room is in a low-traffic part of your home so that she won't be frequently disturbed.
If your kitty is hiding, try sitting in the bedroom (or wherever her space is) with her for an hour or so a day, doing something quiet like reading or being on the computer. Don't approach her and don't try to get her out of the hiding spot, just let her know you're nearby and let her get used to having you around.
Never pull your cat out of her hiding place except in case of emergency (vet visit, etc) as that's going to make her more nervous around you. Try instead to entice her to come out by giving her treats. This will help her associate you with good things and teach her that you're a friend. Try rolling a treat to her in her hiding place, then after she eats it, try rolling one a little closer to you and see if she'll come nearer to you for it. Don't reach out to pet her immediately, just let her have the treat and help her learn that nothing scary is going to happen. Do this when you're certain there will be no sudden movements or noises that might startle her. You want her to feel comfortable coming nearer to you for the treat. It may take some time for her to start coming closer, even with the treats, so it's important to have patience with her.
Try not to make direct eye contact with her. Cats find staring aggressive, and it may make her more uncomfortable to have you watching her. Once she is more comfortable and out of hiding, even if she won't approach you, you can try to gently catch her eye and do a "slow blink" which is a way of telling a cat that you're not a threat.
If she comes out nearer to you for the treat, you can try petting her slowly. Make sure she sees your hand, let her smell you first, and then pet her back or head. Those are the places a cat feels safest being touched – the feet and belly are going to be reserved for after you two know each other a lot better! When she does start coming out of hiding with you in the house, try not to make a big deal of it. Again, don't stare at her. It's best to just sit quietly and let her explore on her own. Once she's been out a few times, you might want to try playing with her with something like a wand toy, which puts distance between you and her and might be a good starter toy for helping her warm up to you. Playing can be great for bonding, and we typically suggest trying to play with your kitty at least 10-15 minutes per day.
It often takes time for a cat to settle into a new home; try to be patient with her and let her acclimate at her own pace.
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