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OMG!! This is unbelievable! I can't believe you guys are actually getting married!!! I can't wait for your wedding day. It'll be small and intimate, right?!
Not really.
Alright so like 250? That ain't so bad.
Not quite.
300?
Probably not.
325?!
Closer to 400.
400!?! You're expecting 400 toes at your wedding or people?!
No, people.
Sheesh! Wow, I guess it'll be a long wedding too?
Yea.
How long we talking here?
An hour...and a half.
Are you kidding?! What the heck are you going to be doing during the ceremony that takes that long?!
Praying.
You can't possibly pray for that long!
Have you ever been to a Coptic liturgy?
No.
Then be thankful.
Oh my. Whatever, I'll just loosen up with some booze and dance till I can't feel my feet.
Um...
Um, what?
There is no alcohol.
It's a WEDDING! People drink it up at weddings!!
Get drunk on your own dime.
How in the--ahhh, alright. Fine! Can we at least dance?
Sure--once the clergy leave.
Clergy?! Who in the--Forget it...When are they leaving?
They're staying the whole time.
What kind of ridiculous wedding is this? Is this a joke?! Why in the world would I ever attend an over-crowded, drawn-out, dry and humdrum excuse for a wedding?!?! Please tell me!
Well, we would love for you to attend our sacrament of matrimony as we publicly profess our love for each other and make a covenant, in front of our community, to be at each other's sides through hell or high water till we die, and beyond.
(long silence)....Wow...I don't know what to say...you guys are clinically INSANE! I've never heard of something so preposterous in my life!!
I know you want to be there.
Yea, I do....see you at 1:30!!!
We'll be there. We kinda have to.
"There is no relationship between human beings so close as that of husband and wife, if they are united as they ought to be."
-- St. John Chrysostom, On Marriage and Family Life, Homily 20