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     Pumpkinhead 2: Blood Wings (1994) 

Director: Jeff Burr

After watching this movie I really wasn't sure of what to write about it. I have seen much worse horror film's, but I have also seen much better. Pumpkinhead 2 is at a slight disadvantage due to the success of its predecessor, the original Pumpkinhead. The first film was a major hit among the occult horror fans, and has stood the test of time. Pumpkinhead 2 doesn't suffer so much from anything but its poor storyline. Without going into detail about the actual plot, I am just going to say that it was a tad bit ridiculous. Apart from its pathetic background, the action sequences were actually pretty entertaining. The creature in this film is wildly creative, and like nothing I have ever seen before. The movie has a decent amount of gore, and a generous body count as well. I wouldn't exactly call the experience mind boggling, but it definitely wasn't a bad entry into the horror genre. What I find pretty interesting about this movie is the fact that its title has nothing to do with anything. Looking at the creature you might realize that its head looks NOTHING AT ALL like a fucking pumpkin. Fortunately for you, this film does not take itself too seriously. If you are pressed for time, than you may want to pass this one by. I would, however, recommend this to anyone who likes creature flicks.

Rating: 2/5 Stars

Rawhead Rex (1986)

Director: George Pavlou

Fake. This is the most fake monster I have ever seen in my life. Obviously, it's probably quite difficult to create a realistic monster in a movie. However, they didn't even try here, it's just terrible. Before I get further into my review, I would like to tell you a little about this film. Clive Barker wrote the screenplay for this movie, and by screenplay I mean he wrote the short story. So, basically, this movie is based off of his writing. You may ask how Clive Barker allowed such a movie to be produced with such poor quality? Well, that may forever remain unanswered, but I can assure you that Barker himself has stated that he absolutely hate's the film. Now, moving along with the actual review. Though the film does a poor job in creating any suspense whatsoever, you are able to see that the story does have substance, and could in fact be a good movie if done properly. I'm not saying this movie is the worst I have ever seen by any means, but its certainly not a diamond in the rough. Without going into too much detail, I will try to explain the plot in a few words. A demon-like monster is reborn onto earth and begins to terrorize a town for, what seems like, no reason. In fact, they don't even explain how the monster comes into existence. A sudden bolt of lightning makes him charge out from beneath the earth like a fucking lunatic. After he sprouts from the ground, he unexplainably begins mauling every person in sight, regardless of the situation. At times he feels like being sneaky, and at other times he just decides to clunk around motor homes in plain sight. The monster has absolutely no strategy in what he does. He's probably the most crazed beast I have ever seen. After murdering a pregnant woman's husband, he begins to search for her inside a house. When I use the term "search" here, what I really mean is tear apart every single thing that can possibly be torn apart in a room. He starts hitting bags of flour off of shelves, breaking cups, and smashing through windows in unabashed fury. I mean, lets think about this...is a full grown woman really going to be hiding behind a fucking BAG OF FLOUR. Get real. It appears the creature also has some sort of ability to hypnotize people and make them do what he wants. However, he only seems to do this to certain people, while viciously chomping through the flesh of others. Again, no strategy whatsoever. I would also like to discuss the name of the film. "Rawhead Rex"...what the fuck does that even mean? The film tells you that long ago, the townspeople named him "Rawhead", and I guess it sort of makes sense since the top of his head is, well, raw I guess. But where the name "Rex" comes from is well beyond me. This film does get points for its pretty decent gore effects, and the fact that a terrified young kid (pictured to the right) is taken out of his fathers car and feasted upon. Other than these few things, you can classify this movie as avoidable.

Rating: 1/5 Stars

 Slugs (1988) 

Director: Juan Piquer Simon     

So basically slugs go around sucking the skin off of people. The premise of the film is simple - slugs have inexplicably become carnivorous creatures that delight themselves in eating people. There's never any real explanation given as to why they've turned evil, but frankly I don't really think anyone gives a fuck, and they probably knew that when filming. The movie overall is unrealistic as hell, but when you're watching a movie with the title "slugs" I suppose you shouldn't expect anything otherwise. With that said, it's still a fun watch. At one point there are two teenagers smashing in a bedroom when out of nowhere slugs appear all over the floor and start rapidly feasting on them. I didn't watch the movie for the plot, I watched it for the gore and luckily it's there in abundance, with surprisingly high production value. If you manage to pick up a copy of the movie, I suggest you listen to the audio commentary with the author. Yes, you heard right...there is a slugs book. Why? I don't know, but some bozo decided to make a movie based off of it. The author is hilarious. He is totally indifferent to the utterly shit quality of the movie and at one point he says, "A lot of people think there is a deeper meaning to the book and movie...but there isn't. It's just a movie about slugs that eat people." And eat people, they do. *Spoiler warning* The ending is typical...they go into the sewers and blow everything up and blah blah blah nobody cares. "Slugs" is a prototypical B-Movie through and through. The acting is below-average, the plot is negligible and it wouldn't scare the likes of a toddler. With that said, it's perfectly cheesy and, bizarrely enough, its actually sort of memorable. The bottom line is, this is an entertaining movie and is probably worth a casual watch when you've got nothing better to do.