9.10.13 Time for a new page! Off the old - back with the new!!! Okay, so I actually drafted my first short story in months and it wasn't even the story that was bubbling up in my mind. Typical. I guess it came after I read an article on writing yesterday. I was thinking about my own influences, what I draw on, the writers I like and so forth. I mean these blogs were supposed to more or less feature my writing process somewhat. Guess you could say I suddenly got back into the groove unexpectedly and all at once. C'est moi. Tough. Starting life over at my age is ... well, I'll find that out along the way. I don't write anything like the writers I like. Go figure. I write what I want. Go figure that too. What I wanted to say is on balance I've had a very improving time with writers' groups as this subject came up for me this week also. All things considered. You certainly have to roll with the punches in the groups because they're not really places for the faint-hearted. I think my reading group people are great, I can't keep up with them so it is a challenge which I suppose is why I find it great. That and the fact of the lighting being facilitating at long last.
Okay, so let me crawl out of the valley of the shadow of death so folks can sit at my table ... Amen ... Smile do ...
22.10.14 We lost Efua this week and I'm still thinking about how much she gave to the cause of helping people to abandon the practice of FGM. In my own life this year has been one of coming to terms with a lot of loss and reflection. I discovered a new feature on PoetrySoup that helped me to just flush out an off the track aspect of this. See if I can get "Life's Highway" up here just below on the blue. Good to keep engaging with folks at difficult times to keep from falling into those empty cracks some others leave. I need to go buy some baby clothes the soonest too. And looking forward to seeing more images of C/2013 A1 Siding Spring. Eager about that ...
A day late due to my being unfocused past months but "First Lost Risen" is again free for download for 5 days
http://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Lost-Risen-Patricia-Graham-ebook/dp/B00DUVZL9Q
and free in PDF "A Rhythm of Life" - poetry
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/369281
23.10.14
31.10.14 Carmen made BHM. Family gave her a lovely send off. Joy of remembering and the pain of missing. Music hit me up and I danced but within hours ended up having to take the pain killers. Such is life. Here's one of Carmen's favourites and many other people as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xlg0ZQfUdzQ
4.11.14 Just finished watching Dr Tent's video on Exploding Autoimmune Epidemics. It really does shine a light on what some leading African scientists were trying to tell the world about AIDS decades back, (sure I still have copies of some of those articles" and what people have been trying to alert the world to about Ebola. It comes as no surprise that the link with cancer is there and the link with experimentation with monkeys and Africans is also prominently referred to in the film. They obviously didn't need to deploy a neutron bomb which would be so in your face, best to use stealth and coercion so it can be blamed on an epidemic when suited. The public at large worldwide has been continuously lied to, manipulated and used. It is the scale that is world gripping. Most of us in the western world have had vaccines or immunisations of one sort or another so none of us is immune. So is there a comparison to be made between giving a child the MMR jab and developing cancer at some point? Let's get to the nitty gritty and straight talk because people should have the right to choose and not be used simply as guinea pigs because of ignorance, when doctors are supposed to be working for the public good. What is informed consent? The patient should be told the truth so they can make the informed decision, otherwise I can see a lot more court cases coming and necessarily so.
When it comes to Africa, we've had the Gold Coast, Ivory Coast, Slave Coast - there is a pattern that has been well established over this mineral rich region where there are much resources but for the people who live there. I suppose to those who simply want to make money at any cost, it is simply the Mineral Coast now and Ebola looks like the means by which to get the people out of the way on the back of programmes designed to do exactly that. The fact that even some of the poorest people recognised this as an unusual phenomenon speaks volumes over the course of their history, proving "you can fool some of the people all of the time but you can't fool all the people all the time". Red handed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8FCJ_VPyns
22.12.14 Ooh ... So much has been going on since before summer even set in with little respite I have to say. This time of year comes with additional issues because of the impact of weather too. I've never seen the hedge so yellow either. Something is amiss. Family and friends lost quite a few folks ...
I've been battling a touch healthwise. But have to look on the bright side. Will have to wave away much of that unhealthy food this year.
Took a break. Why would a man selling pimento to my aunt seem more interested in finding out who I was?! Don't be telling me bout no birds and bees cos I passed that stage a long time ago. I wish they'd get the message! Had way too much of that sort of thing lately. Plus I dress my age!
4.1.15 Well, managing to bear up under this flu and the cold and my stomach not wanting to eat much of anything.
However, I actually managed to focus enough to watch an episode of Star Trek I must have missed somehow. The one with Lokai and Bele - but there's a link on YT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vv9NT1lIgt4
Really quite brilliant - racism and the total destruction of a world ...
Never mind ... Cheer up Y'all
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wYoLQc-x5g ... HoneyBee ...
28.1.15 Really just getting over having been sick for a few weeks. Starting to hit some kind of stride again but the weather ... These days even in London having to "prepare" for bad weather has been a a real change in recent years. Never did this when growing up but since 2009 ...
Good news for Sly Stone so, here's a hit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdorgC9qUkI
Some people think others are here simply to make them more rich. That is so old as we all know ...
Blessings
8.2.15 Every now and then I do a review of my relationship with social media. Think I really started to be more aware of my involvement while on ABCtales where I started exploring my creative writing side more. I've since been on other online writing sites and networked with local groups. I guess my "World of Adventure" is a sort of literary world connection - where my focus is currently. I didn't set out to share so much of myself, even if folks may think I haven't shared that much! For someone like me it has been more than enough because I am quite insular otherwise. There I go sharing again!
Have a good day y'All!!! Love ...
So we're past the full moon. Haven't nearly been firing on all cylinders of late but working through it. I often have to work through health issues on a daily basis in reality and have to take certain care in situations other people would take for granted because of the unusual risks to my body - issues the powers that be even refused to recognise despite research to the contrary. I realise that so many people who have come through extraordinary difficulties have finally spoken or written about their experiences so that others can learn and to enable change and understanding. That's how stories have also been handed down to us over thousands of years. These people have come from diverse backgrounds and have been no less effective with their legacies to us. Listening to far flung voices also teaches the rest of us so much in relation to the circumstances we ourselves live in, in some cases helps to clarify the depths of some of the issues we face even in the West. Never too late? Well we can live in hope and I realise how important it is no matter how hard to keep keeping on regardless of the obstacles. We didn't simply come alive to be the subject of someone else's whim or desire. We are not simply fodder for another. If we believe that, then we will be eaten alive every time.
8.3.15
2.4.15 What has happened to my eyes since the hospital examination is worrying and I need answers. I am not happy about the way I have been treated by the NHS over the years. 1) Doctors not knowing how to write medical reports to required format despite their training and not including diagnoses made and treatment prescribed on record - in fact counter my medical records. 2) Despite my complaining for a decade about the impact of flourescent lighting on me including: passing out under them, terrible headaches, affecting my skin reddening and bleeding, losing sensation all over my body - not one doctor I saw at the time referred me to the photosensitive lab in the borough that I live in and pay taxes to at the crucial time. The list goes on in a similar vein and I consider myself to be a reasonably articulate person having health and safety qualifications and having been a rep for over 8 years.
Fog reduces visibility
Snow reduces visibility
Night reduces visibility
But the darkness that blinds insight
Eclipses all ... blighting an entire planet
6.4.15 Blue Gold and Global Water Wars
Water meglomaniacs who want to control, enslave people. Those of us who come from a history of slavery and colonialism know about the legacies practices handed down for hundreds of years affect people in the here and now, much less greedy people who revel in the diabolical business of destruction of people and communities, disguised as for profit and economic growth or for our health ... Money is their god - quite simply ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x17Qb4HUO50
And when you have more time -there's Fluoridegate - Diaspora Africans living in the US may also want to to take note as to why this should concern you in particular
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luMLTqu_p9A
12.4.15 Personal note: how it was for him way back then - us - and on the receiving end. Looking back ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-vrp3pGCXs
28.4.15 Health issues have really slowed me down since Feb on top of all else but I've tried to keep up but feel I've missed out on so much but that's life.
During this time there's been one too many deaths of African Americans in custody and it has come across as if they are literally living in combat range zones as their daily experience. Ferguson went up in flames and now Baltimore is burning. I feel for the families who have lost loved ones and the manner in which those lives were lost - as if it was some sort of sport. I don't think this sort of response of dealing with African Americans has really abated to the level the world at large would wish since slavery. There is the matter of "cause and effect" in relation to the response whether peaceful or violent. If anyone is being abused to the point of being killed routinely - no matter how powerful you are, "one day the bucket bottom must drop out". This is not "freedom" but "persecution". Many African Americans feel persecuted on a daily basis and Native Americans - well have been persecuted to the extent of genocide in their own ancestral lands. The lie is blaming the persecuted for having been persecuted in the first place. There is no legitimate comparative scale here because the evidence is absolutely off the charts and has been since the get-go. All the doublespeak in the world is not rooting out the core of "cause and effect" and the blinkers are now off to all but those who think they can continue burying their heads in the comfort of sand on this issue for ever more. Black on Black violence is a symptom of this pressure cooker. None of this is going to wash anymore. The bell is calling time on that one. Behavioural changes need to be transparent and need to happen. Amen ...
29.4.15 After one of the most difficult years in my life past 12 months, just really starting to write again. You look back and have to wonder how you got through it all. Really don't know - but then perhaps I really do. Strength and power, well I don't subscribe to the structures most probably do because I know it ain't for real people and we all know how short time is ... All these game players ... All they do with other people's lives.
30.4.15 So I can get back to expressing myself about writing. Like everything in life, one size does not fit or suit all - whether it is genre, cultural, style etc. Writers are individuals with their own unique experience which they bring to a blank sheet. Sometimes there is transparency, sometimes things are opaque, sometimes things are reflective and may even be quite dense, descriptive or narrative driven etc. There is diversity as in POV. A picture may tell a thousand stories depending on the viewer. You can't tell what's over the hill by looking at a picture, no more than you can tell who a person is simply by looking at them. Formulaic may induce allergic reactions in some like being on a treadmill.
14.6.15 I am still dealing with the object floating in my eye but ... Back to writing. Where do I draw inspiration to write from? It could be something so obvious or something so obscure. I heard way back or just yesterday. Seeing a picture. Telling a story from a picture is quite challenging. It could be a picture about anything and that takes me out of my comfort zone if I even have one in fact. I am back to writing however and hope to complete works started years back because I have to. Funny feeling when you've finished writing something in your head, but not concluded it on paper. In between times I knock out some short stories and not feel guilty about paying that attention because at that point it is most uppermost and has me creating something. This may be a distraction from some bigger project but I'm not going to beat myself up about it. If that's the way I work then that's the way I work. Period.
Learning about "Criminal Injustice" recently, a term that helps to clarify the way certain people(s) are treated by the status quo routinely, globally. Conscious people are waking up to the reality of this because at the end of the day it really does affect us all by "cause and effect". How long will this type of thing be perpetuated? And others modelling this behaviour. Naturally we all have some responsibility to bring to bear in some way.
Anyway, I've been out there in the mix of late. Getting out and about more finally.
Thanks for bearing with me.
13.07.15 As someone who was sexually abused as a child and raped numerous times throughout my adult life - some of which were reported to Police but by no means all. I think I tried to keep myself safe and tried best not to judge one man by the behaviour of another but I now have so many rules even at my age about how to keep safe. I find too many grown men are still wanting to play games with me even at my age and get angry with me when they find I am not reciprocating their unwanted advances. My father never hit me, but men who know nothing about me, my health etc - care nothing about my wellbeing in actual fact seem to think I owe them something. No I did not come into this world to be dick fodder. So to any more would be predators out there - stay clear of me. I have known the difference between yes and no for decades. Enough is simply enough and if you put your unwanted hands on me again that way and I survive it, I will call the Police and hopefully this time you'll get banged to rights.
14.07.15 I've been researching the life of Phillis Wheatley, so revealing and in the end so tragic. I thought about my own childhood, my journey to the UK and a whole set of unholy circumstances which overtook my own life. Started writing and the unseemly things that crossed my path and what's happened since I self-published in 2013. In her case, being recognised as a "Genius in Bondage" meeting so many leading and powerful characters across the then world and to die in poverty because of circumstances. It was not the end I had imagined for Phillis given her impact on literature which many will be absolutely ignorant of. She should be a household poetic name everywhere - but of course she is not and there's that resounding question as to why. It is interesting that her life overlaps with the book I am currently reading "The Challenge" by Andrew Lambert.
Maya Angelou wrote: "... talent is like electricity. We don't understand electricity. We use it." The hope was to benefit many, not just a few, to free people from the woes of coal for one. There certainly is something of the "Caged Bird" in what I have related here today which also made me focus on the issues black writers face these days in the marketplace. I've had a lot to reflect on past two weeks - pretty heavy stuff all things considered.
5.8.15 So much seems to have happened since the last time I was here, not least the Blue Moon. The continued deaths in custody of blacks in the US for one. In the UK the fallout from historical sexual abuse and news of a local rape triggered a smouldering outburst from me yesterday. These monsters who ruled over the UK, treating vulnerable people like toys at their whim and the coverups to protect them. I see the hallmarks of slavery in this learned and practised behaviour of abuse by those in power. Punish the victims for the heinous crimes of the wicked on whom accolades are amassed, tributes paid and the people who paid for the lifestyles of these smirking brutes left none the wiser with society picking up the bill once again. This to me seems like a well-honed pattern over time.
But fortunately I do like reading about the writing processes of other writers. I have to say that lately it has allowed me some well needed laughter. I don't usually pigeonhole myself but I can admit to being among the ramshackle ones without a set routine and while waiting for inspiration, I can write more than a thousand words in one go. The discovery for me was that I can "write it, then right it" to paraphrase one particular writer who is making me laugh no end! It isn't that I didn't know that. More that it has given me a licence to do way more of that which could ultimately lead to my writing more and finishing that novella which only has four chapters left to complete for the first draft. Those final chapters have been in skeletal form for months with the touches rolling around in my head. Yes I admit that I have been spending way too much time on social media over the period, otherwise this story would surely have been completed already and it can't of course write itself. Should I chide myself for this gross amount of neglect with the punishment of writing, "I must finish that story without further delay" one hundred and fifty times. Fat chance. Be better spent writing said chapters and the second act and four scenes I also have floating around in my head for the new play I've recently written, plus the others that I need to rewrite. There, got it all out in one. Now you know why I did enjoy being on those writers' networking sites so much. I loved sharing their frustrations and learning about how they tried to address them - or not. I've found that writing can lead me to forget to eat. I lose all track of time and that's bad for me being diabetic and all the rest and tablets to take, so I have had to be more aware of my natural and not so natural needs. Of course I've forgotten to pay bills and what not when I am gripped. Very simply, going for a walk if stuck really does help for me, plus I need to get a slither of Vit D. Really is more about getting the Vit D though - rare thing from the skies over the UK we're told. But of course, we have tablets now for that too ...
So there you go, the inside track of my boring writing process! Blooming mess aye? You know, I started writing this sort of boring blog on a website only to find loads of people were reading them. It really did surprise me! I'd best go - nature calling ...
Update: actually I did finish writing the novella - first draft only. I have to rewrite, then edit and rewrite and so on and so forth - could take until 2016 now to be fair but it is essentially there. Who knows, maybe a few more chapters as well before anyone else has another look at it. I did draft initial chapters on a website. I've been taking the temperature of this story for a while. But really - more a matter of how it felt to me first. And here's the thing - absolutely no editor is going to make me write it inside out. Open to changes but not a complete overhaul. As for an agent - well, who knows if I'll approach one, given what happened the last time ... A lot of issues ... Kinda left me feeling once bitten twice shy ... But I'm a Jamaican and we finally bounce back ... One Love
18.8.15 Watching a programme on Whitney and finding it very hard and in view of her daughter's recent death too.
I haven't been feeling too good of late and I don't do doctors or hospitals too good because of things that have happened that really shouldn't to a paid up member of the NHS. Also it gets rather tiresome having another diagnosis you never heard of and can't even pronounce. But it all comes with age sooner or later. Well, at least I think I have a fair idea of what this current problem is related to. But it will be on top of all the other stuff and increasing meds. Naturally I don't like it, I hate it all. Not something anyone in their right mind would like in any event. In that regard I am sure I'm not unusual. And I'm not pro operations so there's that issue too. Anything but an operation ... Did I say I don't like hospitals?
What do I think about life? life is pretty strange, pretty bizarre from my personal experience. I certainly wouldn't want to repeat this experience of mine and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else. Just hope despite it all maybe I managed to help a few folks get over a hurdle.
Throw myself into the work I've set myself and hopefully do some other things I like.
28.8.15 Well ... I do know what it means to be anaemic - how is another matter but it is something I am prone to and can improve on. Of course there's more tests over other issues but I'm a touch more calm about the whole thing.
I have been writing more of late - not just waiting for inspiration to come as other writers of books advise. While it has spawned benefits, it can take over your life to the loss of other stuff - big time. It does feel more stressful too - because you're spending more time with your characters who could also be in stressful situations of course! Dah!!! And I have discovered I still don't have a set routine with my writing. Do I want to? Well not really. Why? Because it wouldn't have enough free flow for me. I still like the part about waiting for inspiration to suddenly come, than to feel I've got to sit on an egg certain times a day in order for words to hatch. That's about as unruly as I get.
Wrote this on Twitter couple days ago:
Blank sheets of paper
Draws my pen
Ink pours stories
How, where and when
This was as a direct result of my writing more and wanting to capture the sense of it. And I do have the benefit of engaging with other writers too which just throws open our individual processes and struggles which I also find a most freeing exchange.
Oh and I also had a focused session about taking pictures which I enjoy a lot and did some bowling without doing my back in.
Altogether a more creative time past two weeks. Less stress please. Just pushes up one's blood pressure.
28.8.15 Well the Dr(s) are about to read the riot act on my health, a lot more than anaemia going on and all very unpleasant. The result being I have now managed to amass a lot more white coats than I choose to and not feeling very happy about it and more meds etc. All downright depressing really. I'm obviously not feeling too well, even if I look Okay. Actually I think I look pretty ghastly. So not a very upbeat time for me at present. About the only pleasant thing that's happened for me in the past hours is Jamaica's progress at the games. Real happy for them. Trawling through lovely pictures on twitter also brings a smile, although my list page was attacked by some nasty porn yesterday. They seem to have tackled the problem and I hope it does not recur.
So I need to somehow sort my health out. Focus ... health, health, health ... Oh my goodness! Abba knows ...
1.9.15 So here's some of my favourite songs from way back when. I got that kind of rhythm in my system.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbbjBiywa3I
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_HjE1XaDic
Leave it alone ... safer ...
15.9.15 Last new moon: yeh we had a double eclipse of the sun - very rare event over the weekend - 1st by the Earth and then by the moon - last of a series of blood moons to come this month.
Anyone interested in finding out about unusual spatial phenomena could start researching things like: Project Blue Book, Project Paperclip, NASA's Tether incident is on You Tube. People have high speed digital cameras capturing rods and other events in the skies over our heads these days - even on their mobile phones - as seen by hundreds and thousands of people all at once ...
So why the ignorance?
Here's an interesting video about Project Grudge
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6dw7kP0sBY
5.10.15 So, there is no way for me to get away from the growing numbers of doctors in my life currently and that will be the case for the foreseeable future which I am obviously far from delighted about. This blog is heavily nested on here so I don't know how many people are able to access it. Something for family and friends to engage with at some point at the very least. With things of a medical nature, things can be pretty confusing at times. Prayers of course are welcome. I'll catch up if and when I can.
Blessings ...
6.11.15 Amen, Amen, Amen ... Post major operation - at home in recovery. A medical adventure of mysterious significance, having my operation on the day Hurricane Patricia was blowing Cat 5 biggest ever recorded on the planet. All my vitals stabled before the op when they thought they'd have to do this and that ... Miracles come on time ... We keep moving ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCC0eXSAhYE
Thank you for all your prayers. I am slowly catching up with friends and interests. Yah keeping me moving always ...
One Love Beloved ...