We're in May and I've been published just over a month now but feel exhausted mainly due to the problems I have had with various packages. You'd think there was a font war out there or something. When I buy something I expect the software to be what it says on the package. Last time I checked, consumers still had rights in this country. If you say if you've used Word you'll find a package easy to use, but then when I upload my work not only do I find it disappears but the only fonts available for my use are in the Arial family and none of those are accessible? So I end up with zero? Just what in the world is going on? I also unfortunately had similar experiences with other packages I tried out and it has wasted more of my time than I care to remember when I could have spent it doing something far more productive. So big gripe off my chest.
Week commencing 21/4/13 "Flight of Fantasy Collection" achieved the No1 spot in Lulu.com's sci/fantasy Top Ten for the Week also achieving the No8 spot in the Top Ten overall book categories for that week. The paperback has again achieved the No1 spot first week in May and is back in the Top Ten for the Week overall category. One day I'll definitely find out what all this means but right now what I need is for the tools I use in this trade to work to spec.
6.5.13
I was thinking, suppose you were someone who wrote a really crafted book but typed it on a typewriter in 2013 - what would your options be? It all seems these days like six of one and half a dozen of the other. I don't recall writing being as stressful as it is these days with all the new fangled stuff you also have to contend with. Think I'd like to get back to a typewriter and see how I get on with it, back to the old ways. I know someone who writes on a typewriter actually. He's not published, just writes out his crime stuff simply like that. A group I was with, we were so worried for him that he only had the one copy of his book, didn't even have a carbon copy. A crime writer, he just up and disappeared on us after he bought a boat. Yeh, think I'm going to buy a typewriter ...
8.5.13
They manufactured the last typewriter in the UK last year? I'd have to buy one secondhand or something. Think they still make them in Japan though.
So I'm looking to do a book launch in the summer. Because of having to contend with repeatedly redoing stuff I'd previously done, I haven't been able to do much proofreading. I also need to read up on industry stuff. Years ago I rested my tech head because I was feeling like I just didn't want to be using all these new packages, so I kept myself pretty low tech. Over the past six weeks I've had to do an about turn to catch up because of being published. It has been gruelling but I think I've broken the back of being au fait with requirements these days. The best package I every used has to be AppleMac. I haven't used it though in decades but I remember just how comfortable I was with it.
I also need to be published in formats that make my books accessible to people with disabilities as well. I also need to buy more audio books and hope that apart from the increase in variety in this format there's also an increase in diversity. I buy printed books out of habit but need to buy audio books more of necessity. Some narrators also grate on my nerves I previously found, even when I managed to find a title I was really looking forward to hear in the spoken word. We have some great readers on ABCtales.com by the way.
I desperately need a break because I am feeling really frazzled and neglectful of myself which is real dangerous.
What would I count as success? Think if I was asked that question when I was younger, my answer would be different. Right now success means simply getting my words out firstly and with time I'd love to share some of whatever comes my way to empower disadvantaged people. From my perspective that'll mainly mean women and children in difficulty, who could benefit from learning to be more self-sufficient with training, given immediate survival issues are sustainable. Having less time in front of me than I have behind me now, invariably means I really don't have time for certain things and need to channel my energies into matters close to my heart.
11.5.13
There's so much going on and so much I need to do but I can only go at a certain pace otherwise I feel like I'm running myself ragged and will only end up having to stay in bed. Had a little panic about what if I'm expected to sign say more than fify books for example? Well my fingers don't work so well gripping pencils and pens for long periods. All the things people take for granted. So a friend said I could get a stamp made up. I'm thinking like oh then I might have to explain to people why I need to use a stamp and to all intent and purposes I otherwise look reasonably "normal" and hitherto tried not to say much about my issues. Then there's the flourescent lighting, the bane of my life that affects my eyes, my skin and exposure can lead me to pass out. What about that one? Why I don't get out so much, though I try. Like my plants, I don't think I get on well with wifi either. Kinda makes me feel sick and intense. Somebody needs to build me a safe house where I don't feel like I'm sparking or something and without nylon in the carpet because I'll just be sparking and clicking like nobody's business. Now you know what it's like to be me. Yes it is for real. Welcome to my world. I guess supporters of me won't mind my issues and they can be catered for. Oh yes like natural light for example and using shielded uplighters so I get the benefit of the lighting without the radiation affecting my body. Let's not even mention my allergies ...
13.5.13
And I can't use optic mice or wireless. I get painful feedback in my body. I need to find a user friendly talktype software, retrain and get to grips with producing future material using that method, much as I would like to go back to using a typewriter, maybe not so practical for me to do. Needless to say, I also use mobiles very sparingly.
I'm starting to flare, hardly surprising just been so intense of late. I seriously need to chill out. Just got a couple things I need to do. No point taking that blood test this week because I'll just get a red flag so I need to sort my health out.
Yeh, so many people went to so much trouble across their various disciplines to deny me my strange "disabilities" but I leave them all to YHWH. My health was a game to them. I honestly believe if I had received the help and understanding I so desperately needed at the time, I could have been spared much of this. Bless them.
15.5.13
There's days when past and present collide in a knot and I feel transfixed, or as we say in the trade "stuck". But for the fact that I have managed to set certain things as memorable touchstones to lead me out, could well become engulfed by the tide of it all. This is how Presence takes care of me. I feel grateful I can go for some freshish air, make soup from scratch. I remember how carrots used to taste too. If you don't know, you don't miss it. So much has changed.
20.5.13
Time to get back to some proofreading. Been reflecting on traditional publishers, literary agents and lawyers - what a mouthful! Hmm ... Certainly brings back a whole lot of memories. Well, if I had to start all over, an important criteria would be the ability to cater for those with disabilities, ie the ability to make reasonable adjustments would naturally be first on my list. I often find when I visit offices, a lot of time is wasted just finding somewhere where I can be seated and this is despite informing people beforehand in writing and sometimes in triplicate. After dealing with my issues since the late 1990's, I apparently can't convey enough to some intelligent people what causes me discomfort as described above. It really does beg the question of how other less articulate people with disabilities are treated day to day, adding to their disabling issues when some of the measures needed are really quite simple and without the need for rocket science and high costs.
"Wonderful world, beautiful people ..."
21.5.13
What a week it has been so far. Devastating events in Oklahoma, a public slaughter in the UK, chaos and continuing loss of life in worldwide war zones and the reports that the scale of disappearing species on this planet on which life depends is rapidly worsening. We pray, pick ourselves up and try our best to be the best that we can under all these testing circumstances. We cannot pretend that these things are not happening but it is the way in which we tackle them that makes all the difference in the world for everyone concerned. Yah with us because none of this is good news. I haven't been able to be creatively productive, having to put my health first but hope to plough on now. One Love
24.5.13
Feeling a lot better, getting some benefit from the sun. Some days when it is real strong and prickling my skin I can't brave the outdoors these days but today was gorgeous. Sparks of creativity also surfacing. I am a few days behind on my proofreading but hey ... I spent quite a bit of time ruminating about love, freedom and fear, wild flowers and cats. A lot of time on how the first three are connected. Some people don't know how to love because they never had it and having something called "care" is not easy for them to follow through with in any sort of recognisable way. It's complex. Then, like a child, I started thinking about how I used to love listening to stories and just like a child in an ice-cream parlour, thinking about audio books and the new world of possibilities that opens up for me. Do I get some classics or do I go for authors and books I've never read? Gasp. I can even sample the readers. I'm like wow!
6.6.13
17.6.13 I just want to say how brave I regard those women who have come forward and been through the prosecution of historic child abuses and rapes. Being a survivor of too many such incidents myself over the course of my life and having to try to come to grips with as to why certain males treated my body as some sort of extension of their own warped desire and sense of power, putting my life at risk in the process of gorging themselves on my body, of course it has had a lifelong impact on how I not only feel but live out the rest of my life. That others saw my need for privacy as "weird" also had consequences, this human existence has certainly been charged with lessons for me. I know I wouldn't wish it on anyone. It should come as no surprise that some of my planned book releases, Yah willing, will deal with some of these issues and experiences which I have also written about over the years.
27.6.13 I'm feeling more relaxed now that "First Lost Risen" is finally published. I feel freer to get on with the other projects now. Give thanks! I don't have the energy right now to do an ebook for it because I really do feel I need a break. I have another book to finish writing but I also have a new book forming in my head. It is so strange when that happens, getting an idea for something completely different and trying to resist it because you've got other things to get on with! I'm wondering if other writers experience this.
On a much lighter note, Wimbledon is underway with rain and all. Hope I can find some decent strawberries. Andy's challenged Serena to a match. I'm thinking it would be fun ... And of course there's F1's playful drama.
My favourite advert at present is the one with the leopard of course. As for TV - that route master series certainly has a life of its very own. We hop on and off of buses throughout our lives. I thought what if someone took the history of one bus thoughout its service - what tales would that tell? If a bus could reveal its secrets from the assembly line to retirement. Maybe someone will tell a story like that. Not me though, I'm just curious.
1.7.13 So now I have two sets of books to go out there with, I need to sort a schedule for this month. I feel a touch behind on all that lately but give Yah thanks and praise for getting me this far. Hopefully I'll finally finish "Cross-Purposes" this month, then there's all that proofreading etc so realistically it won't be ready until the autumn but no pressure. Not putting any on myself on that account.
I'm catching up with women's issues in the UK after reading a few articles and looking to see how I can include liaising with some folks on that front as well, being close to my concerns as DV and related matters are. When you've lived it all, wouldn't wish it on any one but the incidents ... We need to have some serious engagement with our youngsters.
4.7.13 Well I'm all up in a world of words these days. I feel like I missed whole chunks while just having to deal with some awful stuff. There are a lot of good writers out there, published and unpublished but I've also stumbled on some exceptional ones of late and grateful for that. I don't know if I'll find a couple of them in audio though. But I have started my physical audio collection with some old favourites. Well I was bound to find some old favourites rather than people I've lately discovered on that score. Oh it makes me feel like a bee in honeycomb! I am just loving it. Listening to someone read to you is just so ... I know I'm not being lazy because I need to offload the eye strain big time. It takes a lot of time running through material to find suitable stuff. I need to get with the programme and enjoy it all. Such a small thing but means a lot.
5.7.13 Yesterday was a reflective day for me. For the US 4th of July representing some form of celebration around freedom while in Egypt there was a change of government, the US pays their army and the whole issue of freedom across the world is on people's minds more and more. Well, those of us who have the capacity to be weighing up what freedom means in our various localities. I've been thinking about what freedom means for the people in the Jamaican garrisons and where people are living in other ghetto areas and issues related to all that - all pretty deep. We always seem to be at the beginning of things that in reality have just been sprawling for decades. What kind of changes needed to at least make life more bearable for some? Whole heap of issues and mess. A lot of blood, poverty and fear all mingled up. So does that mean that it consequently all stays the same and whose benefit does that serve longterm?
If I was hoping seeing the doc and getting a partially good report would spare me the constant flow of tests I would be deluding myself. It can feel like life hanging between one set of tests and another. But life isn't just all about that of course.
Then I got to learning a little more about publishing. Probably need to learn more about the epub market, seems like a lot going on there but print is still more accessible in certain quarters, though with mobiles etc that could be changing in some respects. I don't know how quickly. What do poor people have access to since knowledge these days enables a sense of empowerment? I'm just one person, but things start with just one. Yes, how things mutate for better or worse. Me, I'd prefer for better and sustainable, necessity being the mother of invention in a natural way and all that. I realise just how much some other people just thrive off controlling someone else's life and the pernicious nature of this and how it operates at various levels in various ways on a grand scale and a lesser one. Obviously I don't like those aspects of human nature. Just parking these thoughts here for now.
And so ... I spied with an eye written 4th of July something red in dark night but Abba leads with His light Always. Blessings, Shalom
7.7.13 I learned two new words today that would probably take pages to explain what I think they mean so I'll not go into either of them here, language being alive and definitions - are definitions refined when new? Or is that something that happens after the dust has settled some?
I'm glad some people have noticed that the Chinese are on the block everywhere and what does that mean for people in the future folks? When it comes to what people think they need and the power behind who is doing the giving and what nations are signing themselves up to. People were airing their views on such matters at "Africa Writes". Good to hear it because it also goes hand in hand with people's concerns globally about freedoms and what the areas of conflicts are that grate against freedoms we should treasure, those of us who currently take certain freedoms for granted.
I need to sort out the status of my books roundabout now too. I was more concerned about just writing but it is time to begin to get my head around other issues, though I'd rather just write of course.
8.7.13 It is Africa's issue and that of its Diaspora in various hemispheres, that its lands and peoples are seen as consumable commodities historically, nowadays resources for oil, gas and minerals and its people to be used for someone else's comfort and economy primarily and for the benefit of a minority elite that this voracious propagation breeds. What is this? It is not a type of thing that just happens because it has been ongoing in a loop, a vice - history simply repeating. There is no time to feel sick or angry because it is once again all in train. It is time to address it and believe it or not , it does start with consciousness because the bodies have been piling up for generations. Stop sacrificing human beings for the gain of inanimate objects and substances. African lives are worth far more than merely this. It is time to change because no one is being blindsided if you don't close your eyes to what has been going on for generations. Is the only blueprint the one that colonisers and would be colonisers the only track for people of African descent to follow? What are we so eager to follow over a cliff in any event? Follow-fashion is freedom? When you can no longer feed your children on the land on which you used to live and it fed your forefathers for generations? Wiping out diversity is progress? Is this a joke?
Development as freedom or development as devastation? There is a real choice for those who care to use some vision tempered with long-term values and not simply for short-term gain.
10.7.13 Gambits and options ... It'll be telling to see who starts paying out first given the different starting points ...
Finally reached Amazon myself with "First Lost Risen": http://www.amazon.co.uk/First-Lost-Risen-ebook/dp/B00DUVZL9Q/ref=pd_rhf_ee_p_img_1_XRRP
This is of relevance:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/technology/2013/jul/10/apple-guilty-ebook-prices-trial
13.7.13 I was thinking about how a covetous nature just devours everything. Look around the world and it is very clear how it works and what it costs in real terms. One of the first ten commandments "Thou shall not covet ..." I don't think people really realise just how profound this is and the devastating consequences this trait has visited and still exacts on people world over.
14.7.13 The Verdict is out in the Trayvon Martin case - Not Guilty. A cause for pause. People feel betrayed, put back years, angry. It will take cool heads to keep people calm because no one wants anyone else being physically hurt by this. The mental and emotional anguish is overwhelming especially for those with children. I remember Rosa Parks in all of this and the dignity which she held firm while bringing change to all - remember. His parents are strong and need to draw strength for the road ahead. The prosecution now has to trawl through what went wrong. Well, one of the first things people need to address is what is a jury of your peers in the 21st century? My experience of these things is there is little that is random at work in selection, but made to look that way. Then there's all the looking at the Judge's directions and conduct of the case etc, standard. Pray and fast about all this people. The young star witness, 19 year old, is going to need a lot of support - this case was so overwhelming - please ... No one is going backwards here, way too much at stake for that - use your heads. Just don't let anything divide you for righteousness sake as this is all about freedom. Come too far ... All I know is guns and chemicals won't free people. There are those who would prefer people to believe that. Rosa didn't use a gun for goodness sake. Remember ...
16.7.13 People being tested. When Yah gives you a gift, no one else can claim it. They only think they can because they operate in darkness, but everything done in the dark must come out into the light. Truth must be revealed and transcends time ie - past and present. Bless ...
And this week has been so challenging internationally. Our bodies are supposed to be temples. In the world of mammon and everybody doing more than time will allow, well this is all madness and another sign of the times. The challenge is to keep a level head for all the madness going on and there's more than enough of that going on. Abba have mercy.
17.7.13 I mean, who would send their youngster on an exchange programme to Florida in the near future if you had a better offer? The State has been holding its country to ransom for years in full view of the whole world. There is something disturbing going on with the culture there to a warping degree and it has been noticeable for decades now. I think change needs to manifest in Florida in earnest now. There is a lot at stake.
20.7.13 So much going on around the world. Abba looking down at us. For this generation to see the light and recognise our brothers and sisters in spirit. I think of those who laid down their lives to bring us hope and understanding.
I'm linking with writers and readers in diverse ways. Such a big adventure for me. I'm really not that adventurous when compared to some folk. Who would I like to meet? Off the top of my head: Madiba but he's too ill; Maya, Bonnie, Doreen, Benjamin, Neil for starters. Reading Chomsky was another wake up call when I was young. My favourite writers growing up were Fanon and Ludlum - sort of opposites from an advantage perspective I guess. But when you have the freedom to select what to read ... Along the way I learned from so many writers who leave something with you and continue to. One of those writers was Buchi Emettecha:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/worldservice/arts/features/womenwriters/emechetta_life.shtml
I think reading and writing helps to bring us closer to understanding how someone else experiences this world we inhabit. The sky is our one umbrella whatever the weather, rain or shine, and we all reside under it. Only later do we appreciate how fragile and thin our atmosphere is, our protection ...
Ross Kemp on Gangs and his other such features painfully helped to keep me abreast of circumstances around the world where many would fear to tread. He's someone else I'd like to meet one day and the production team. If I seem drawn to the underbelly of human existence it is because I have lived it and can't ignore the toll it has on a person's life which cannot be glossed over or kept out of sight as some misguided people hitherto would prefer. This is not how we choose to be inclusive.
I'm sure there's loads more 'famous' people I'd like to meet, India Arie is another on the music front, Toots. Quite a few people in that industry, but it'd help if some of them had a connection with plants for example! Maybe had a few tips their grandparents taught them that I could pass on to others. The Jamaican sports team ... Other Jamaican writers for starters.
27.7.13
JK, Israelis and some Palestinians are talking. The rest of the region is still in turmoil.
It really is unfortunate that I published FFC and the FLR paperbacks and have had to make those unavailable when I put so much effort into marketing and paid for ad stuff which I should be now utilsing to best advantage. iPhones still has the ebook which appears even in ad translation in Italian for example:
https://itunes.apple.com/it/book/flight-of-fantasy-collection/id648945747?mt=11
I hope to find out who is receiving revenue for all of this because I have yet to receive one cent, Euro, £ etc since April. If I had bought a lottery ticket and won, I'd have been informed or paid already or the details of the winning ticket would be online. These books represent years of work to produce. I am awaiting an explanation as to what is going before deciding on what action to take but it is all looking pretty serious at this point.
29.7.13
So today has been a day of words, not my own but appreciating others. I hope to have several such days over coming weeks to simply enjoy. So despite some of the unsavoury things I have had to run through on my own account, just to have a little precious time to engage this way today. I found this by Phillis Wheatley:
'On Recollection"
http://www.bartleby.com/150/18.html
I think it speaks volumes for itself right up to present time. All who have ears to hear, let them hear if they cannot see and know when and how the time reverberates and will not be held back. Amen ...
31.7.13 The Argument: http://connect.lulu.com/t5/General-Discussions/Do-you-regret-publishing-with-Lulu/td-p/251573/page/2
My first paperback book published on Lulu.com was No1 for the most part of April post release and the second was No1 for some two weeks, the second rising in their charts before I had received the proofcopy wherein the metadata was incomplete and I had to rush to do proof corrections in consequence of the rise. At that point I hadn't told a single soul I had even finished the book. I am to believe this rise was due to the purchase of one book initially? Given this is an international company in the self-pub market with its nearest rival probably being Amazon and the volumes of books other authors and buyers were purchasing throughout April/May/June on their site ... Their answers neither persuade nor address given the questions which arise. Also in the Forum Discussion, I am not referred to by my username but actual, details of my personal account are revealed in public and bore no direct relation to the question posed in relation. I am referred as a "silly girl" for believing people have rights. Extraordinary.
Today Jamaica remembers Emancipation Day. Given the subject matter of "First Lost Risen" I find it very relevant and given all the above.
1.8.13
"Know them by their fruits ..." The nature of greed is so all consuming that it claims everything for itself and ravages individuals, nations and the aspirations of other people. Totally self-seeking, claiming all that they do not even produce but devours because its hunger knows no bounds. It just consumes and taints. People of African descent came through this affliction through slavery and colonialism and yet still human trafficking and the consumation of other people by others for their own devouring gain continues unabated. Never satisfied. To covet that which belongs to someone else is a sin that inbeds itself in the heart and every day function of these persons and they get off on it big time, pass it off with a smile and "have a good day" while robbing you blind. What is there to engage with in this? This constant raping of others. The world is all about them and no one else matters, not their feelings, needs etc. And they teach other people to be just like themselves unfortunately. Like a virus, or as they say, it only take one bad apple to spoil a whole barrel. We know these people and how they operate. How they are and what they do to the detriment of everyone else, sometimes dressed up as goodwill. "Know them by their fruits ... Thy Will be Done ..." Blessings Always.
Just keep praying for the people who don't want to be a part of that systemic nature. Shabbat Shalom. Amen
2.8.13
The fact that I had to make certain of my book unavailable leading up to Emancipation and Independence Days for which those books were designed to commemorate should serve to demonstrate the serious nature of the issues which led to my withdrawing them. Since their withdrawal, matters have become somewhat more complex so there is little more I can add to this unforseen drama at present. However, I did not allow any of this to spoil the significance of reflection on the history of Jamaicans and I really enjoyed participating in marking our events. I am still going over in my mind the service held at Southwark Cathedral on a lovely Sabbath day, seeing Her Excellency, Baroness Doreen Lawrence and Diane Abbott MP. My journey was a little delayed and I ended up sitting behind a pillar just hearing the service rather than seeing it but it didn't matter. Just being there was important and a memory I can treasure. I am so thankful. I am sure more than a few tears were shed on the day. YHWH'S BLESSINGS ALWAYS ... through our trials and tribulations ...
10.8.13 Time seems to be flying so fast. I've been a touch out of sorts. Be great if I could just cast off all my cares and well get on with real vital stuff. I just seem to get caught up in an endless chain of medical tests and there's always something. I really get it when some folks would rather not know. Need to work on my mind over matter! Folks I'd rather see less of? Doctors. Really. Think I'd feel better if I saw them less often. But I have to work on that. What do I need less of? Tablets. I realise the older you get the worse all this is likely to get. Guess I'd better get my house in order. One place I don't want to land on is a hospital bed. I can visit people but I don't want any invitations to stay. Best sort out my life will stuff so family can just hand it to medical folks should I ever get poorly. No point in them feeling responsible for something they won't be responsible for. Ain't I just a bundle of cherries today - not. With all the stuff I've got going on it can take much of the fun element out of day to day living but I give thanks for small mercies of course. So many in worst states and it is good when you can manage to do things for yourself. I remember probably well over a decade ago now when I tried to hit a tennis ball, it was shocking. Like the whole thing reverberated around my body and I was just sore like someone hit me with a baseball bat! How crazy is that? Best not say too much as I don't any more tests to be done. I'm just all tested out. Rest. Oooh ... Just getting that off my chest makes me feel better already!
11.8.13 Well that helped some. My conversations with docs can go like: "We should put you on ..." Of course I respond with, "What does it do?" and then "I'll get back to you on that." I really feel some of my current issues are due to medication I took last summer. And I really don't think I can take any more tablets. Much of our problems in this modern society I believe are due to us not getting the Yah given nutrients and minerals for our bodies because the land has been severely compromised by human activity. That's my take on much of this.
Nicer thoughts ... I'm taking a break from Talers currently as they've just migrated to a new server etc and it's a bit glitchy and chaotic for me right now. I don't do chaos very well these days. Actually when I tried to take breaks from there before I wasn't all that successful. I mean I went on the site to write one story and ended up writing two other books and all sorts, and I still haven't finished the one I went on there to write. I find it can be so distracting being on there engaging with stuff and folks. At times I'd forget to eat, loads of cold tea and forgot to pay bills even. I can't call it a microcosm because it is global. But just interacting with other creative people like that can be real stimulating. I know some writers on there get stuck for ideas etc. You get every type of person that's out there in the big bad world. Like an ocean, some people love being in the trenches, some erupt from the ocean floor, some movers and shakers. Well I think I found myself a little coral reef there to hang out with a few friends I found and some who dropped by occasionally. What with the constant motion of the ocean, not too many dull moments. I seldom got stuck for ideas, more a case of trying to resist over indulging. So there's no access to my pages there currently.
Need to consider where and how to publish my next book. Think I have more options now. Will take my time on it. Right now I am more interested in listening to other writers' books and reading the backlog of books I've gathered lately. Listening is a completely different experience from reading. It just is.
12.8.13 I was thinking about what and how something becomes popular these days from humble beginnings. Some work hard, some are manufactured to achieve a level of success. With access to the internet there's more instant global attention. But of course this also brings into play manipulation on many different levels. People have vested interests and for those of us with eyes enough to focus, we can see and work out how it is applied in order for the money gods to keep getting paid. Even a child could work that one out.
Perspective ... I guess it is keeping a sense of what is essential. That's where having a sense of self is important and not pandering to the ways of the mob or those with vested interest who simply love to control others no matter the spiel. Yeshua spent forty days and nights being tempted. Yeh it all comes into play doesn't it? At the end of the day just how precious does one regard one's own soul, that's if you believe you have one?
13.8.13 Now I know what people mean when they say: "You want a piece of me?" Not much of me left to tear to pieces these days folks. Plenty who beat you to it. Grace ...
22.8.13 Habakkuk 2:2-4. Expression, connections ... Sense of ... The ebb and flow of events ...
New Moon next month, solar max underway, comet Ison coursing, Middle East conflicts spreading ... Elsewhere ... planet and people under pressure ... Still there are many who do not know the time of day for all the confusion. Simply give thanks and praise for tender mercies. Pray for guidance ... Yah keeping us.
Been struggling with muscle and joint pains, eyes been bugging. Just good to be able to do what I can when I can. Unseasonal cold like hayfever - a lot of folks complaining about that before the autumn has even set in but after the past few days being rainy and overcast, today is warmly humid. Really need to sort myself out to go home. Facing winters here is just becoming too ghastly for comfort. My body just wasn't designed for the cold periods.
25.8.13
A shapeshifting cyber cartel with tentacles everywhere. Brave new worlds and what it means to the fabric of a person's life. I guess when you were born before the techno explosion one still has a sense of ordinary reality, what playing games can lead to online with people being sucked in with dire consequences as we know - as it is offline. The pleasure some people get from manipulating and controlling people online as news reports are educating people. So my online presence has not been an all embracing one and with some of the stuff I have unfortunately encountered ... Also, I haven't found self-publishing to be an above board experience. It is something I can also walk away from because I don't see my existence simply as a play thing for other people.
Reflecting on Martin Luther King and achievements thus far, it is so painfully obvious that so much more could have been achieved after 50 years. Still the age old question of what price freedom, and not the cosmetic and gamesmanship kind. Some people just see others as fodder for themselves. The stranglehold and the devious nature of how control is being inflicted on people in these times is mind boggling. Media revelations are but a tip of the iceberg. What kind of reality? It is so perverse.
The Middle East situation is so obviously on my mind these days in any event and the consequences for those near and far - practically incalculable as more and more countries are inevitably drawn into this spiralling chaos. The Bible names the key countries and they are all in play.
YHWH with us in these perilous times. On the other side of all such devastation - really begs the question "what is man?". We know scripture ...
29.8.13 Why would any reputable company send books to Barnes & Noble, Nook but not register their ISBN titles with Bowker? Does any of this make any logical sense?
It is a beautiful Yah given day in London post parliamentary vote . The people were consulted and not just taken for granted at the very least.
1.9.13 It is clear to me that cats have more rights in the UK than some people with disabilities. If you have had liver and kidney problems and your GP has not prescribed medication recommended on this account despite a diagnosed medical condition, why would anyone expect you to take said medication to further endanger your health given the circumstances? They want you to put yourself in jeopardy to proove what exactly? Do these people belong to the human race or some secret society with an alternative agenda? You wouldn't put your pet in such a dilemma. And eveybody uses the excuse of "administrative error" to even get away with murder I have no doubt should it come to that. Psalm 64 comes to mind - surely ... and for all the rest ... Amen.
3.9.13 I've been flaring these past weeks but I try hard to block it on account of I just hate going to the doctors as you know. Just up and down. Thankful when I get more ups. Just the way it is. I try to do things to distract myself which works for me but sometimes it just lays me flat out. Do stuff when I can. Have a heart and be thankful to be able to appreciate the beautiful things that are here ... Praise and Joy in Yeshua HaMashiach!!!
16.9.13 Time is just flying and my health is slowly improving. Give thanks. Scaling back on stuff I may be inclined to engage with because it eats up a lot of time and I need to prioritise more. Keep things simple but moving if and when I can. It looks a gorgeous day today, though the coolness of the autumn is now definitively upon us here in London.
Looking back on the bizarre nature of things that have occurred in my life of late, I can only say: "They know their father and I know mine". I am grateful for being shown the level and degree to which they operate but believe I still have better things to do. Pray for deliverance. Amen.
18.9.13 Improving healthwise ...
I wrote my books to commemorate Jamaica's 50th and the upcoming Black History Month - go figure ... I am sure racism is alive and well in publishing as elsewhere, just regurgitating stereotypical images that teach little and at this point is so violently banal if it wasn't so serious because of perceptions and influence that limits progress: "The more things change, the more they remain the same ..." After 500 years, Marcus Garvey, MLK and many more, people of colour who make up the majority on this planet are still asking the question "how long?" The current state of affairs robs everyone of diversity, freedoms and meagre glimpses of prosperity that can be shared because of vested interests in the age old power base which is wearing pretty thin in these times. Tempus fugit ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wKyXA_nMVQ
Right now I've got a title to finish and hope to somehow get it published through fairer, more transparent means. The struggle goes on ... Amen
29.9.13 Been up and down past months healthwise but managed to keep in touch folks. I'm making "First Lost Risen" free for downloading for 5 days for Black History Month UK on Amazon Kindle and hope you'll leave reviews. If you leave a review and it doesn't show up, let me know on Twitter or complain direct to Amazon. Too much administrative nonsense that is not conducive to a level playing field much less income still going on these days. David and Goliath stuff on and on and on ... Heaven preserve us! We have too much love to let that stop us yeh!!! You have to name it ... Tell it like it is ... Amen
3.10.13 From today to 7th Oct "First Lost Risen" is available on Amazon for free download for Black History Month. If you get it and read it - please leave a review when you have the time. I've been catching up on the life of Paul Robeson recently and how relevant the things he went through, folks are still experiencing in these times. I'm reflecting on what the Lawrence family also have been through and what it has taken to receive some justice for Stephen and the whole family. Good to see everyone come together for the 02 event.
15.10.13 I can give thanks for the beautiful day outside - energising. I saw two of the biggest spiders ever this month - like golf balls (b&w) and both had woven huge webs enough to trap small birds. Lunar eclipse end of the week. NOAA is now down due to the US Shutdown. Eyes on the skies and senses in the Caribbean weather wise - signs of the times. The sun has woken up and a minor CME incoming today.
It is Black History Month and I'm reflecting on the sacrifices made by the ancestors for us to have survived this far. Reading some individual harrowing accounts handed down through time, I can take a good hard look on behaviour patterns and how some of these have simply been masked over time. The lion's share of everything still goes to Westerners through mostly foul means which still impoverishes despite measures like Fair Trade which helps. The word equality has little meaning in certain sectors where there is money to be made. Then we have all the people running from conflicts or looking for economic improvement and dying in the Mediterranean. It is hard to see when any of this is going to improve any time soon. To stem a leak, you have to find the source and address that.
While it hurts, as the truth does, to face the real facts of our existence on this planet, we can at least begin now to look at the nature of our reality and what is necessary to do for safety and security sake including food security of course in a fast changing world.
21.10.13 Just been doing loads of proofreading and formatting. Just have all this formatting stuff coming out of my ears. It really can feel like way too much. But for the fact of reaching out to folks who may appreciate - I'd find something better to do like read a good book, any of the ones I've been wanting to read for the longest. Okay so the latest project is looking good. I hope to have "A Rhythm of Life" (poetry collection) out for November with Smashwords and will put the link up here when I am happier about what's happening with the format. I just haven't released any of my books in the order I thought I might. This will be the last for 2013 and I have one novella near completion and another two compilations for release in the New Year. However, I'm putting any book launch ideas forward to 2014. By then I'll have a clutch of them. Also by then I hope to take a holiday because I am really feeling it round about now. I don't have anyone pushing me to get this stuff out, but hey ... Who knows ... I just want to get the stuff out there Yah willing. So I'm not fussed about what happened to the order, I reckon they came out in the order that's relevant to the here and now - more to the point. So that's what been up with me.
24.10.13 I have been formatting and proofreading to distraction and I am really wanting this phase to be over. It really isn't my favourite part of publishing. My life is not a format. Well, for my pains here's the link to my poetry ebook .
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/369281
I am still working on a paperback version. With several other books to reformat, I've decided to do those after the holiday because I have other things to get on with. Time for family, friends and other folk. Spent way too many days in a word trench with all manner of formats slinging letters at me for catalogue sakes! I'm outa here. Who knows when I'll be back with my broken English. Let me go read a good book, listen to some music, stroke a cat and cook some decent food. My life is not a format.
25.10.13 Well I am back but will be taking a well deserved break. I wrote "Our Vices" to a well known hymn. I am sure there are many who will work out which one it is. "After the Aftermath" in FFC rather sums up what I feel about our world. Billions have died without choice to feed the greed machine that has and is still devouring people. Their blood cries out to a future hurtling to tribulation. Profit and living off someone else's toil, free labour is what catapulted Western dominance and living off the remnants of decay as we have with fossil fuels - clearly highlighted in the pages of Revelation. There's been a lot about green energy because of recent over zealous price hikes in austerity, with little regard to the average family who did not cause this global mess. The control these powerful companies have in resisting change long before we got here is the real issue that needs tackling at this eleventh hour. Destroying our only habitat to satisfy shortsighted desire is a future? And so we're expected not to eat unnatural foods in consequence, only what will be essentially manmade? Is this really the only option for humanity's survival? Who decrees this as truth? The same types of people who have driven us here I have no doubt. It really does rob folks wholesale of notions of "real" diversity. This planet cannot sustain such an unholy destructive lifestyle. Using other people as fodder to feed your desires will eventually leave nothing but an empty nest in real terms. Market forces ... Well ... the handwriting has been on the Wall for some time ...
***
Comet ISON's outburst and the sunspots increasing and M and X flares, four comets orbiting our system and where's the info on ISON's Mars encounter?
We had the Haiyan Typhoon calamity over a week now. Just total devastation and so many lives no in the balance as the days pass.
The age of consent was raised as an issue in past days in the UK. I mean, a sexual encounter can affect you for the rest of your natural life in so many ways and too many young people have been and are being coerced and manipulated by various devices into this activity which they may very likely not be ready for. Are young people being taught about abusive relationships as part of sex education for example? If teachers can't do it for lack of training etc, there are numerous organisations with personnel who deal with some of the aftermaths which can drag on for years to do with consequences which are nothing like grazing your knee or learning to play a game for the first time. Talking about what is actually going on and how would help a great deal in understanding this confusing area of development.
As for my poetry: edits and publishing options etc ... "Rhythm" is just a small collection which has more of a spiritual and nature tone to it. The other collections being planned have a very different polarity as far as commentary goes. I'm way off doing a paperback version at present as other priorities are in focus right now.
17.11.13
Published today "A Rhythm of Life" https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/369281. Due to late formatting issues with epub and Kindle - best read in HTML and PDF for the forseeable future. No regrets about this. Word out.
22.11.13
Things are moving so fast now, events. Nelson Mandela's passing has given us pause to reflect not only on his life and achievements and sacrifices but for us to look at ourselves and our direction of travel in these difficult times. Comet ISON sungrazed 28/11. Evidently much going on in the heavens as well as on the planet. Geomagnetic storm in progress today.
8.12.13
We have learnt of some terrible things going on and not just of late which harks to the predatory nature of some people and the lengths they will go to to manipulate others - absolute evil - and to do these things repeatedly against the innocent and unsuspecting others. Pray for deliverance and break the silence ... This is a worldwide public health situation affecting untold millions of people day in day out. It is necessary that we should be informed of how such people prey on others. When you see other people as fodder and objects for your pleasure and gain, devoid of all respect - humanity is devalued by these acts being perpetrated and supported in divers ways.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PCIzCvGqh6Y
19.12.13
30.12.13 Storms, floods, eruptions, quakes and so much unrest across this planet over the holiday period thus far; fires and fireballs too of course. All very intense. It feels like a new phase for this modern world. I doubt most people are prepared or ready for what is afoot and the trends are that none of this is set to improve any time soon. What matters and why is a good place to start when self examining relative to everything happening. Reality, now there's a mystery ...
31.12.13 PM - a little tune to spotlight where we are on this once beautiful planet. Keep praying for deliverance and those of us in the know, know we have nothing to fear whatever happens. There is more than death in this universe only YHWH knows the depths of everything. HalleluYAH ... Stay blessed and let's share ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgRm1ISlw_A